Page 163 of The Trouble With Bad Boys

Now it will be a permanent feature of the wall. Or worse, the next guy she starts dating will fix it. Fuck, I hate the idea of her with anyone else.

If only there was another way.

“So I think I’m going to have to stop coming here,” I mumble, hating how the words sound as they leave my mouth.

Beside me, Tia makes a noise that reminds me of how I sound every time I’ve been shot. It’s the sound of utter agony.

“What? I don’t…I don’t understand.” she says with so much hurt in her voice that a knot forms in the pit of my stomach.

I take a step toward the door and stop, still not looking at her as I continue. “I just think it’s time.”

Fuck, none of this is coming out like I want it to. I promised myself I wouldn’t be a jackass when I told her, and that’s exactly how I sound.

“Time for what? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Finally, I turn to face her and see pure sadness in her expression. “It’s been fun, hasn’t it? We had some great times together. I just think it’s time to say goodbye.”

Tears fill her eyes as she shakes her head. “Why are you saying this? You’re breaking up with me? Why? What happened, Jaxon?”

“Nothing happened. I just think it’s time. This whole long distance thing was always going to be hard. Turns out it was harder than I thought it would be. It’s okay. We made some good memories, right?”

My casual way of saying I don’t want to see her anymore only makes things worse, and Tia begins to cry. It’s breaking my heart to see her so sad and to know I’m the reason she feels like this. I want to take her into my arms and say I was only making a bad joke. She’s kind. She’d accept that after slapping me across the face, which is something I deserve at this moment.

But I can’t go back now. Every moment I’m with Tia puts her in danger. It’s better to hurt her like this than to have her suffer far worse because of me.

Finally, the floodgates open, and tears stream down her face. She pushes against my chest, angry at me like she should be.

“Why are you talking about our time together like it meant nothing to you? Did it? Did it mean absolutely nothing to you all these months?” she sobs.

I shrug, knowing how fucking disrespectful that is right now. “It meant a lot to me. I just think it’s time.”

Her tear-filled eyes flash anger I’ve only seen a few times in Tia. “Time? You keep saying that! Why? Why is it time now?”

I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to use the nuclear option, but she’s not going to let me off the hook. Not that I blame her. It’s not like I’ve given her any valid reason for not wanting to be with her anymore. What does a few hours driving to see her mean to me? I never minded the trip down here, so she knows that’s a bullshit reason for wanting to break up.

So I swallow hard and say the hardest words I’ve ever uttered in my life.

“I’ve met someone else. She’s closer, so we don’t have to do the long distance relationship thing.”

As each syllable leaves my mouth, Tia grows sadder and sadder until she collapses onto the chair behind me. “You met someone else? How could you do this to us? I guess there was no us, though. Not if you could find someone new.”

Fuck, I want to get the hell out of this place right now. I can’t see her like this.

When I don’t say anything, she jumps up from the chair and shakes her head as tears continue to stream down her cheeks. “I’ll never forgive you, Jaxon. Whoever she is, I hope she makes you happier than I did.”

That’s not possible. I want to tell her that, but I can’t. Keeping her safe is too important to turn back now.

“Thanks. I hope we can be friends,” I say like some stereotypical dick just asking for someone to slap their face.

“Friends?” she repeats in disbelief. “I don’t want to be friends with you. You’ve broken my heart, and now you think friends is something we can be? Go fuck yourself, Jaxon. Go to whoever this new girl is and never come here again. I never want to see you again in my life!”

She storms away as my heart sinks, and when she slams her bedroom door, it’s like she’s put up a barrier I couldn’t get through even if I tried. I want to, but if I go back on my plan now, she’ll never be safe because I’ll never be able to say goodbye to her again.

Feeling like someone’s ripped open my chest and tore my heart out with their bare hands, I stand in Tia’s kitchen and try to memorize how this place looks. The pale yellow paint that’s begun to crack around the window over the sink. The red and white rooster decoration hanging on the wall above the stove. The little wooden dining table with only two chairs where we sat so many times and talked.

I want to always remember how happy I was in this room.

How happy and selfish because I knew being with Tia put her in danger.

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