Page 69 of Home Ice

"Then I have nineteen minutes and ninety-three seconds to do what I want with you."

"That's not how time works, but yes. You have something like that."

CHAPTER 45

YEP, DEFINITELY CRYING

LILY

I should be used to luxury cars from the times I've been in Brant's SUV, but I'm still awed by the ride share he ordered to take us back to the hotel. The smell is the first thing I notice. It smells clean, like it's just gone through a car wash for the inside. Nothing like the smell of the taxi I was in earlier. That one smelled like an after-practice hockey player with twelve air fresheners hanging from him. These seats are even incredible. It's more comfortable than my couch. A little moan passes from my lips as I settle in. I look up at the driver, who shows no sign of having heard me. That's good, because I suspect he's going to hear more than just that on this ride.

I watch Brant slip into the car. He pulls his seatbelt on without looking at me, so I slide over to him. "We've got twenty minutes in a backseat that makes me feel like I'm sitting on an enormous marshmallow. Just us."

"Mmm, so soft." He wiggles his butt a little and closes his eyes. But I didn't reapply this lipstick before we left so he could fall asleep beside me.

I trace a finger down the top of his thigh to his knee and then back up. "So? Tell me what you're thinking?" I squeeze myself even tighter against him and move my finger down his leg again. He catches it in his hand this time, and I wait for him to make the next move.

He just stares at me. "I'm thinking about Christmas."

"Okay?" That catches me off-guard, and my brain scrambles for a second. "How you want to unwrap me? Have you been a good boy?" He's still holding my hand motionless in his lap, so I take the initiative. I pull his hand to my chest and press it against my breasts. Breasts that really do look amazing in this dress.

"How you don't have anyone. I'm going back home to visit my family, but you're all alone. That makes me so sad for you."

Ouch. This car ride is not going at all how I imagined. "Maybe we could talk about something else?"

He turns to face me as much as he can with the seatbelt holding him in place. "I mean, your friend is so far away, and your dad—" Is he really about to start crying?

"Brant, stop. Please."

"Fuck, Lily." I think he tries to cup my cheek, but his fingers slide down as soon as he touches me. He settles for resting his hand on my shoulder. "I didn't mean to make you sad. I don't ever want to make you sad. I want to make you happy. So happy," he declares in the way only a truly drunk person can. I sigh. Even if he hadn't already killed the mood, I can't do anything with him tonight. He's further gone than I thought.

His eyes glass over. And yep, definitely crying. So that's his drunk-style. "You do make me happy Brant." I smile to show him that everything is fine.

"No. I mean more than that. What are you doing for Christmas?"

Well, since we just so kindly established that I have no family and my only friend is an 8-hour drive away, I think that question has probably already been answered. To be honest, I hadn't given it much thought. We're less than two weeks away from our three-day holiday break, and I guess I just assumed I would spend that time with Brant. I thought we could invite Chloe and Silver over for a quiet celebration with just the four of us. It never occurred to me that he might want to go visit his family. "I'll be alright. There's always basketball on TV. That's my favorite sport," I tease.

"I want you to come with me." His head bobbles. His eyelids half close.

It feels like someone is squeezing my ribs. Meeting someone's family is… But he's drunk. He doesn't mean it. "I am coming with you," I say." We're in a car together now. See?" I point out the window, like he doesn't know we're moving. I hope he'll make some silly joke, and we can change the topic so I don't have to listen to a drunk and crying Brant extend an invitation he doesn't mean.

"My mom and dad will love you almost as much as I do." Okay, not only did my deflection not work, it made it worse. So much worse. We've hinted around the L-word, but this is the first time either one of us has said it. Of course, it would come when he's so drunk he'll never remember this conversation in the morning. Meanwhile, I'll have it branded into my brain for eternity. "And my sister will be there. She… She? She might hate you?" The car hits a bump and Brandt's head rolls in a complete circle. "She hated Serenity. So much. Hated her."

Somehow, this invitation just keeps getting worse. "We can talk about this later, okay?" Which will be never because I'm certainly never bringing this conversation up once I get out of this car.

He holds his head steady enough to stare at me. It's unnerving how he's able to do it. "Lily, I want you to meet them. Mom and Dad and Barrie. She won't hate you. No one could ever hate you."

I snort. "That is very untrue."

"Pfft. I wish you didn't think that way."

"What way, realistically?" I ask.

"Not realisisty… realizey… that word I can't say right now." I roll my eyes. "It's not! Everyone loves you, Lily," he slurs on. "Why can't you see that? My parents will too. So will Barrie. I miss talking to her so much. Did I tell you we used to talk every day? She was my best friend before you." He falls back against the seat, and I slide even closer to him, using a finger to wipe away his tears before I take his hand in mine.

He hasn't talked much about Barrie. Just a few stories from when they were growing up, but nothing recent. I could sense that they weren't close anymore, but I didn't want to pry. I know how sensitive family issues can be.

"I was so stupid. The worst part is she was right. Serenity was awful. But I said things, and I was too fucking stubborn to take them back. What's wrong with me?"

---