Page 19 of Home Ice

I shake my head when I register what she's saying. "Stop. I'm fine. I swear. Fine. But I need to go. Okay? Okay, I need to go. I'm fine. Just fine." I smile for her as I press the red button to disconnect us. I am so not fine. So not fine at all.

CHAPTER 16

I'LL NEVER LET ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO YOU

BRANT

I first knew Kayden and I would be friends when I found out that he's a morning person like me. He was just traded from Chicago to Salt Lake City, and we were on the first road trip since he joined the team. I stepped off the elevator and into the hotel lobby at seven in the morning for a coffee run when I saw him. First, I thought he was sneaking back into the hotel after a late night out, so I charged over to him, not caring how many people were about to see me rip into the irresponsible hotshot center. But before I had a chance, he smiled and waved a cup of coffee. "Morning Morrison. Hotel coffee just doesn't cut it. Plus, I needed to get out and move." I decided then that the new kid was going to be okay.

But today? It's five-thirty in the morning. Kayden is bopping his head and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as we drive through the sleeping downtown for one of Coach's insanely early practices. And all I want to do is crawl back into bed. Coach tells us this will help get us ready for those one o'clock games on the east coast, but it's really just because half the team was lethargic at yesterday's practice. This is his way of teaching us a lesson.

I just close my eyes and let my head roll back against the headrest when Kayden slaps me on the leg. "Come on, man. You said you went to bed early last night. You can't be tired."

Ten is early, but that doesn't mean I fell asleep then. There was a time when I never lay in bed worrying about my future. I was the undisputed starting goalie, and every night I went to bed with Serenity beside me. The woman I thought loved me. The woman I thought I loved. Her leaving me might be the only good thing that came from my injury. Sure, I was sad when she left, but I wasn't heartbroken. It didn't take long to realize I didn't even miss her. I just missed what she represented. Someone to come home to. Someone who would always be there for me. Based on how quickly she left me when my career was in doubt, she was never going to be that person. I think of our new trainer way more often than I ever thought of Serenity when we were together. That tells me everything I need to know about my feelings for Serenity.

"I know what'll get you going." When we stop at a red light, Kayden swipes through his phone. A new song plays, and he looks at me. "Right? Fucking best concert ever!"

I shake my head. I swear we were two of only a handful of guys in a mob of thousands of twenty-something girls who all sang in unison with every word at that concert. Every time I looked over at Kayden, he was bouncing and singing right along with them. Halfway through, he joined up with the group of women next to us, and together they belted out the lyrics even louder. But by the end of the night, I might have been swaying in rhythm just a bit. And maybe I did stream their newest album once or twice since then. So yeah, it was a good show. But I still don't want to admit that. "Eh, it was alright."

Kayden laughs to let me know he sees right through my act, and then he turns up the music. We might both be signing along—him loudly and me under my breath—when we turn into the players’ parking lot.

"Oh, shit." He slams on the brakes. There's a car pulled up tight to Coach's Cobra. No, not just pulled up to it. It's against it.

In the dark of the parking lot, it takes me a second to recognize the other car, but then I throw my seatbelt off and race to the driver's side of the old Subaru.

"Lily?" I tap on the glass. "Are you okay? Can you hear me?"

She looks up and stares at me for a second. Then her mouth drops open and she covers her face. Like I won't be able to see her if she can't see me. I tap the window again, but she just shakes her head, her ponytail whipping from side to side.

"Is everyone okay?" Kayden is on my left now. He looks at the two cars and then at me and finally the driver.

"It's Lily," I say. The way she's moving her head, I assume she doesn't have a neck injury, or at least I hope not as I pull open her door. "Lily, it's okay. Are you hurt?"

"No." I don't know how one word can sound so broken. She looks up at me again. "Brant?" I nod.

"See?" Kayden elbows my arm, and I just glare at him.

"What am I going to do?" Lily's soft voice draws my attention back to her. "This cannot be happening. It's a dream. I'm still in bed. Or no. I fell asleep while I was driving here, and sure, I crashed into someone's car but not this one. I'm just hallucinating now. I didn't really crash into the probably very expensive classic car of my boss. Nope. This definitely did not happen. It's maybe just a delivery truck. I need to close my eyes for a second, and when I open them, it won't be Coach's car in front of me because that would be too much to deal with right now. The universe might be an unfair place, but it can't be this unfair, right?" She squeezes her eyes shut, and when she reopens them, she looks like she's going to be sick.

I rest my hand on her shoulder, and something inside me draws tight at the look on her face. She looks sadder than the saddest dog on those sad dog commercials. I just want to put my arms around her and tell her that everything will be fine. But I can't. Well, maybe I can. That last part, at least. "It'll be alright." She shakes her head, but I hold my finger out in front of her. "Lily, listen to me, it's going to be alright. Coach might act mean, but he?—"

"He's going to fire me." The sadness in her eyes turns to desperation, and my heart drops so far it could be in one of my legs. "He'll fire me, and I'll never be able to be a trainer for any team ever again. Oh god, not even a minor league roller derby team in Poland would take me now."

I kneel so I'm level with her, and I get her to look at me. "Breathe, Lily. Deep breaths. You're not getting fired. Just focus on your breaths. In and out with me." I inhale deeply, but she just stares. Tears well in her eyes. I don't know what will happen if I see her cry, but I know I would do anything to make sure it never happens. "We got this. Me and Kayden, right?" I turn to him. He's standing at the hood of her car, staring down. He looks like he's watching a coffin being lowered into the ground. "Right, Kayden?"

"Dude, this is?—"

"Right, Kayden?" I interrupt him before he can say anything that will make Lily feel even worse than she already does.

"Right." He follows my lead and nods his head. "It just looks bad because it's so dark. There's not really much damage at all once you see it up close." He looks at Coach's door, which I now see has an enormous dent, and then back at me with a shrug. He mouths she's fucked. I shake him off before he can say anything aloud.

"It looks bad because it is bad. What do I do?" Lily looks from me to him and back. That's a damn good question that I need more than a few seconds to think about. "Even if he doesn't fire me, I can't afford to fix his car. That's probably… Oh no, that's probably a fifty-thousand-dollar car, isn't it?"

Kayden chokes, but I don't say a word.

Lily's eyes go wide. "More? One-hundred-thousand? Seriously? I'm dead" Her body is quivering even more than her voice now, and I don't have the heart to tell her that a classic Shelby Cobra costs way more than that, even when it's a daily driver like Coach's.

Her eyes glaze over, and she looks like she's about to faint. "Lily?" I take her hands in mine and squeeze to keep her focused. She's freezing. "I need you to trust me. I'll never let anything bad happen to you, you got that? I swear." Even as I say it, I know I'm overpromising. She's just a girl I'm attracted to. A coworker. My neighbor. That's it. How can I promise to always protect her? "Remember your deep breaths," I tell her. "Do you think your car is drivable?"

---