Page 107 of Home Ice

DEFINITELY IN A HURRY, I SEE

BRANT

Evan Schaefer isn't a bad guy. Before he retired to become an announcer, he was my teammate. He was the kind of clubhouse presence that every team loves to have. The kind of presence I've tried to be ever since he hung up the skates. But right now, as he interviews me as the First Star of the game, I want to scream at him to hurry the fuck up.

"In the second, when the Sting took a penalty for hooking, Vancouver had a dozen shots on goal in that two-minute span," he says. "What was going through your head as you blocked shot after shot?"

That the woman I love was leaving me. That she was probably packing right then. I panicked when Emory texted yesterday to warn me that Lily asked her to come help her move. I haven't been able to think of anything else since then. Every time I'd close my eyes, I would see Lily. Neatly rolling her clothes before organizing them inside her suitcase, just like she does before every trip. The next time I would close them, I'd see her walking through the Salt Lake City airport. Close them again, and I'd see her boarding that plane and leaving us forever.

Emory told me she would do what she could to talk Lily out of leaving, but I knew I needed to be the one to convince her. So when Vancouver fired those shots at me, the only thing I was thinking about was how I can't lose my girl. "I just told myself that it was all up to me," I answer. "I had to stop it."

"And stop it you did. I played hockey for a long time, but before tonight I'd never seen a goalie get a standing ovation in the middle of a game like that. And a well-deserved one too, I might add." The crowd cheers their agreement.

I give them all a quick wave. Over half the people have stuck around to see this, and as much as every second feels like a sharp paper cut, they deserve it. I love this city, so the least I can do is give these fans another twenty seconds of my time before I sprint down the tunnel and into the dressing room. I'm not even going to shower. I'm going to throw that woman over my sweaty shoulder, take her to my car, and drive her home. But when we get there, I am going to take my fucking time with her and make sure she knows exactly how I feel about her. I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure she knows how I feel about her.

"Gotta ask—I know you and I talked a little about it before the game—but the new mask design tonight, the patches on the boys' shoulders, and even the stick tape… You're the one behind it all, so what's the significance of that."

I glare at him. We did talk about it before the game. He knows Lily, and he heard about what happened in Denver. He knows what she means to me. Before the game, he told me that he would support me and her in any way he could. The last thing I expected was a question about it in front of ten thousand fans and god knows how many people watching at home. He gives me a quick nod and drops the mic just long enough to whisper, "knock it outta here, bro."

Fuck. As every teacher who ever assigned me an oral report found out, public speaking is not my thing. And there's no way I'm telling the truth. I'd never out Lily or Chloe that way. "You know what it's like to be a pro. You meet all kinds of people." He nods his head when I pause, trying to dream up something to say. "I met a guy recently who really impressed me. A transgender guy. And we've actually become good buddies. We're already planning to go on a fishing trip after we win the cup this year."

A fishing trip? Seriously, anyone who knows me knows that I hate fishing.

"He was telling me some of the things he had to go through when he transitioned from female to male. Some of the things he still has to go through. And it's ridiculous, you know." Schaefer gives a nod that leaves no doubt he's on my side. "I just thought this is a group of people who need and deserve our public support. So if what the boys and I did tonight can help with that in even a little way, I'm honored to have done it. If we got the message across to just one person, then we succeeded."

"Couldn't agree more. And for anyone listening who wants to learn what role they can play in their own lives, go to the Salt Lake City Sting's webpage. We've got links there to local and national charities where you can help or just learn more about the issues to become better educated. Thanks for joining us, Branny. I'll let you get back to the room so you can celebrate with the boys. Congrats on the First Star." He gives me a wink that tells me he knows it's not going to be the boys I celebrate with tonight, but I don't stick around long enough to even acknowledge it. I'm off before he finishes the sentence, and I've got most of my pads off as soon as I'm in the tunnel leading to the dressing room. By the time I get there, I'm stripped to my underwear, and my body is practically vibrating. I swear it might explode if anyone even touches me.

But when I get into the dressing room, my stomach drops so far it gets tangled around my ankles. While I was skating the loop to wave at the fans and then sitting on the bench for the interview, I imagined Lily sitting here on the bench in front of my stall. And, yeah, in those fantasies she was naked, but that wasn't the important part. The important part was that she was right here. Waiting. Because she promised she wouldn't leave. But she's not here. I spin around the dressing room, searching for her. Everyone else is acting like this is just a normal postgame. Kayden and Neumann are both heading toward the player's gym, probably to cool down on one of the exercise bikes. Princeling is beside them, but he goes down the corridor to the recovery room instead. My heart is fucking pounding out of my chest, and not one of them seems concerned. How am I the only one panicking now? How the fuck could they have let her leave? I was gone for five minutes at the most. They should have held her down. Fuck, toss her into one of the storage rooms until I could get back and talk some sense into her. But just letting her leave?

"Lily?" My throat is too dry and my voice too raspy for anyone other than the people closest to me to hear.

"Is Lily your girl?" Gordo asks me. He's in the stall next to mine—Milo's old stall—taking off his pads. He didn't see any action tonight, so he doesn't have to worry about recovery or even a shower. So he's taking his time.

"Yeah." I nod. She better still fucking be my girl.

"In there." He hooks a thumb over his shoulder. "She's a trainer? Poppy wanted her to look at his hand. That puck he took during the game."

I push through the door to the trainers' room so fast that it crashes against the wall, not breathing until I see her. Poppy is on a table, and Lily has his hand in hers while she examines it. "We need to go."

She barely gives me a glance over her shoulder. "Just a couple of minutes. I want to be sure it's not broken."

I close my eyes and tap my foot on the floor, waiting as patiently as I can. "Now?"

"Oh my god, Brant." She laughs. "It's been like ten seconds. You need to shower anyway. Go do that, and I'll be ready when you get back. Promise." This time she flashes me a quick smile. I'm sure it's meant to calm me, but it just makes me want her now.

Poppy must see the look on my face, because he slides off the edge of the exam table. He winces as he pulls his hand from hers. "I'm fine. It's nothing. You go."

"Nikita, hold still." Lily struggles to take his hand back, but he steps away from her.

"All cured. I think someone else needs you more than I do now."

Damn fucking right I do. I nod my appreciation to him as he walks past. "Ready now?"

"So impatient." She starts to wipe the table down.

Sweat from Poppy's ass still marks where he sat, but I grab her hand and yank her into me. "When it comes to you—tonight—yeah. I'm the most impatient man in the goddamn world. Leave it. Elijah can get it." She looks up at me, her eyes narrowed with frustration. "You're not even working today. You quit, remember? Now let me take you home to show you everything you'd miss if you would have left."

She tugs my hand just enough to say that she put up a fight, but then she gives in and lets me lead her toward the door on the other side of the room. "Everything? All in one night?"

---