Page 2 of Jaxon

She didn’t know which was more frightening—facing her trauma, or confronting the realization that she wanted more.

The next day at work, Rachel scrubbed into a surgery with Tess, her closest friend and colleague. As they prepped the patient, Tess said, “So, any fun plans this weekend? Or just the usual?”

Rachel felt her cheeks heat. Tess knew her routine all too well. “Just relaxing at home. Catching up on reading.”

“Come on, live a little! We’re only young once. When’s the last time you went on a date or took a vacation?” Tess asked.

“I don’t need that kind of excitement,” Rachel said, adjusting her mask. “My life is predictable and safe. Just the way I like it.”

Tess gave her a knowing look. “Is it really? Or are you just afraid to step out of your comfort zone because of what happened when you were a kid?”

Rachel froze. How did Tess know about that? She never told anyone at work about the robbery.

“I’m your friend, Rachel. I can tell you’re not really happy. You deserve to live life to the fullest, not hide away in your little bubble. What happened to you was awful, but you can’t let fear rule you forever.”

Tess’s words struck a chord deep within Rachel. She wanted to deny them, cling to the familiarity of her restricted life. But the longing for something more was growing, refusing to be silenced.

Maybe Tess was right. It was time to start facing her fears instead of running from them. To step outside the comfort zone that had become its own kind of trap.

That evening, Rachel meticulously cleaned her apartment, as was her nightly routine, even though it didn’t need it. She scrubbed every surface, arranged her few knickknacks at precise angles, then sat on her couch and watched a documentary about World War II for the third time.

Her gaze drifted to the window. What was it like to go outside at dusk, feel the warmth of the setting sun on your face? When was the last time she’d done something spontaneous, just for the joy of it?

A restless discontent stirred within Rachel as she thought of her colleagues’ lives outside of work. Tess was always jetting off on some new adventure, while Jolene loved riding through the countryside on the back of her husband’s motorcycle. Even shy, Maya had found love and started a family.

Meanwhile, Rachel clung to the safety of familiar routines. Her life was small and colorless, passing day after day in a blur of sameness. She longed to break free, but fear held her back with chains of doubt and what-if’s. What if stepping out of her comfort zone led her straight back into danger? She shouldn’t risk it.

With a sigh, Rachel turned up the volume on the TV and tried to lose herself in the black and white footage. But tonight, even the familiar voices of the narrator couldn’t quiet the questions swirling in her mind.

Was this really living? Or just existing, trapped by the ghosts of her past?

She looked around at the room that had become more prison than haven. The walls seemed to close in around her, suffocating in their bleak emptiness.

Tonight, Rachel realized with sudden clarity, she was tired of playing it safe. She wanted to start living again, really living—before it was too late.

2

Rachel struggled to focus as her revelation running on repeat through her mind. During her break, she retreated to the empty staff lounge for a moment of peace. But as soon as she sat down, panic welled up inside her and threatened to drag her under. Her chest tightened, breaths came fast and shallow.

Rachel gripped the edge of the table, willing the attack to pass. But she couldn’t stop the flood of worries crashing over her. What if she couldn’t handle the changes she longed for? What if she failed and ended up right back where she started—or worse?

She was still trapped in the spiral of doubt when a gentle hand rested on her shoulder. Rachel flinched, glancing up with wide eyes to find Tess gazing at her.

“Easy, it’s just me.” Tess slid into the seat beside her, keeping her voice low and calm. “Breathe with me, okay?”

Rachel nodded, following Tess’s exaggerated inhales and exhales until the vice around her chest loosened its grip. “I’m sorry,” she said, swiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Don’t apologize.” Tess gave her shoulder a squeeze. “It seems you’ve reached your breaking point. The question is, what are you going to do now?”

Rachel took a shaky breath, steeling herself against the fears that lingered at the edges of her mind. “I’m going to start living again.”

Tess smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. “That’s my girl. It won’t be easy, but I know you can do this.”

Rachel managed a wry grin. “You have more faith in me than I do.”

“Someone has to while you’re busy doubting yourself.” Tess bumped her shoulder playfully. “Seriously though, you’re stronger than you realize. You survived a trauma most people can’t even imagine. You can survive this too—no, you can thrive.”

A warmth blossomed in Rachel’s chest, chasing away the last dregs of panic. How had she gotten so lucky to have a friend like Tess?

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