Page 6 of If Only You Hurt

I go to grab a cookie, and my sister slaps my hand.

“What the hell, Becca?” I look at her like she cut my hand off. But seriously, what’s up with the violence?

“Wait until we get things set up for an afternoon coffee. Leave the cookies be for a second.” She turns around to grab something from the fridge, and I use that opportunity to steal a cookie.

My sister and I have always been close, but our age difference sort of makes her more of a maternal figure than a sisterly one. I’ve seen her go through a lot throughout the years, and knowing how hard life has been for her, raising a child on her own without the person I know she never stopped loving can’t be easy.

I make my way into the living room and find the rest of what I call my extended family. Ellie is the first to look up, and she’s making her way toward me. Her smile is always full of love and warmth, and I get pulled into a tight hug. I’m finally taller than her, my growth spurt happening a few months back.

“Wow, Grant, you’re so tall now! Look, Beau, he’s going to catch up to you,” Ellie says as she pulls away from me to inspect how much I've changed in a few short months.

I got my height from my father, apparently. My mom and sister are on the shorter side. Becca and I share the dark hair and blue-green eyes, along with an olive complexion. The difference is my eyes are a bit more vibrant than my sister's, especially when my tan deepens with the summer sun. We both have dimples, but now I’m starting to realize the power I have with mine when it comes to the female population. Seeing a girl blush after I flash my dimples is addicting. I’m not mad about that.

Beau gets up, gives me a handshake, and pulls me into a side hug. Ellie found one of the good ones, and this guy has been a huge part of my life. I have already gone to him with questions about girls, and he’s been nice enough not to make fun of me when I ask a million questions.

It’s not until Laney, my Bean, gets up from the floor that I feel my chest constrict. It feels like all the air in the room has been sucked out, and I’m speechless as I see her walk toward me. We write letters and chat on the phone when time allows, but I haven’t seen her since this past summer. Obviously, time does change things because Laney looks grown up.

We’ve been friends for nearly the entirety of our lives, and each time we reunite, I notice little changes about her. It’s usually a haircut or something new with her style of clothing. But this time, she’s carrying herself differently.

I look her up and down, and that’s when I see it. Holy shit! Laney has boobs. And hips. And her hair is longer than it was this past summer. Is she wearing makeup too? When did this happen?

She comes up to me, her smile beaming like it usually is. That’s when I notice her braces are off, something that slipped my mind. Strange, I forgot about it even though she called me screaming about how happy she was to be rid of the wires that had taken over her mouth for two years.

My best friend has always been pretty, but this version of Laney is gorgeous. The moment she reaches me, I pull her in for an embrace. I am immediately engulfed in the vanilla scent from her shampoo, and just that alone is causing me to have feelings beyond friendship for her. I better pull away before I start to show how excited I am about her in my arms. Teenage hormones are like this, though. I think even a gust of wind gets me turned on. Now, apparently, my best friend has that effect on me too.

“How are you, Grantie?” Laney pulls away and looks up at my gaze. Last time I saw her, I wasn’t this tall, but now she has to crane her neck up to look into my eyes.

“I’m good, Bean. How was the flight?” I can’t help but pivot from looking into her eyes to her lips. She’s breathtaking. I try to recover by bringing my eyes back to hers, but I think she catches me as her cheeks pink up.

I’ve always loved Laney, but I would never classify that love as something beyond friendship. She’s been everything in my life for as long as I can remember. Maybe it’s normal to think your best friend is attractive. I’m not blind, but man, am I fucking screwed. Because whatever this feeling is that’s swirling in my chest, it feels like more than just friendship. It's an attraction I can’t ignore.

“It was good. I’m so happy to be here for Christmas.” She’s bouncing on her toes, and it’s taking every bit of power not to let my eyes drop lower to her chest. Fuck. This is going to be a long-ass break. At least one thing’s for certain: Laney has always loved the holidays, and I’m beyond thrilled they were able to make the trip.

We get called over to the table for some snacks and coffee, a tradition my mom picked up when I did a project on my ancestors. I am a descendant of Brazil, on my father’s side. My great-grandparents migrated to the United States, and throughout the generations, things have gotten lost. When researching my family’s past, I found out that having afternoon coffee is a common practice there, and although we have never been to visit, my mom thought it would be a nice thing to start doing when possible. She saves it for days like these when we’ve got a full house. My mom loves tradition when and where possible, so it’s not surprising she latched onto this piece of history from my ancestors.

We all sit down, and that’s when I notice Ellie and Beau have remained standing. I look over at my sister, and she’s got a sneaky smile across her face. What’s going on?

“So now that we are all gathered here, Ellie and I would like to say a few things. We are so happy we could celebrate Christmas with all of you, and we found that this is probably the best time to announce.” I take in everyone at the table and realize most seem as lost as me, aside from Becca. My mom looks over at Laney’s mom, Jana, and they exchange a look, which apparently has them smiling even bigger.

Beau continues, “Ellie and I are expecting!”

Oh, my eardrums. Every woman at this table is screaming, the excitement nearly causing permanent hearing loss. Everyone is standing, embracing, and here I am, taking it all in.

Once the shock wears off and I have a moment to congratulate them, I hug them and tell them how excited I am for this next step for them. Ellie has tears in her eyes, and Beau couldn’t look prouder.

“I knew it! Told you something was up, Mom,” Laney says to Jana. “Do you know what you’re having?”

“Not yet. We are only twelve weeks, but now that the first trimester is behind us, we feel comfortable telling everyone.” She gives Becca a look, and I can tell my sister was well aware this was happening before this little announcement.

The rest of our afternoon coffee continues; this time, the focus is on baby clothes, names, and baby shower plans. Apparently, she’s due in the summer, so a late spring or early summer shower is on the horizon. My sister looks like she might burst with excitement.

Once everyone finishes cleaning up in the kitchen, Laney and I decide to hang out a bit in my room. I show her a new Madden game, and she fills me in on everything going on in Saddle Ridge. Laney is the only person I have kept in touch with since I left, but she is still friends with all the kids we used to see at the playground, so I’m familiar with everyone she mentions in passing. I see most of the kids when I go visit in the summers, but apparently, a few months is a long time in teenage years.

“Yeah, so Davey is still the biggest nuisance. He keeps making fun of me.” That gets my attention. Davey is the bane of my existence. He makes Laney’s life hell. I think he has a crush on her, but I will never tell her my thoughts because a guy acting like a dick to a girl because he likes her is the dumbest thing ever. Plus, Laney is warmth on a cold day, so anything that hurts my friend hurts me.

“What’s that dick pickle doing now?” Laney giggles at my nickname for him, and I smile, feeling lighter just hearing her laughter.

“He said I’m weird because I’ve never been kissed.” Ugh. Davey Fucking Beckett. Such a dick, indeed.

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