Page 66 of If Only You Hurt

The issues that arose from this are the reason that I fought for him to get some mental healthcare. As much as what he did was disturbing and upsetting, on top of everything potentially harmful for me and the baby, I can’t help but feel like prison time is more of a band-aid than a solution. So, I pushed for him to have less time behind bars and be transferred to a mental health facility that could help him deal with the trauma he suffered. If he is going to be released back into this world, he needs to know how to cope.

This was a point of contention for Grant and I. He was in favor of Tad rotting for as long as possible after what he did to me. But I had to explain how his trauma was so similar to mine and that if I hadn’t had the support from everyone around me, I could easily have suffered much like Tad did.

Luckily, Grant understood after many long chats, and he realized how important this was for me. Now here we are, understanding that we need to find a way to live our lives to the fullest. It’s strange having this mindset while Grant struggles because, for so long, it was him trying to guide me to see the positives life could bring while I sat in fear of something catastrophic occurring around me.

I hear Grant’s voice carry over the small space, and it’s hard not to smile. I make my way down the hall and into Cassie’s room. The crib that’s in here is one she rarely uses, only when I’m putting laundry away, or we are playing early in the morning, allowing Grant some extra hours of sleep.

Sitting in the rocker, I finally feel like my body is starting to mold back into what it once was. But I look in the mirror and see parts of me that will be forever altered, and I’m okay with that. So much of my past changed me in ways you couldn’t see just by looking at me. To know that I grew this beautiful being and have altered myself physically to adapt to that growth is something quite amazing.

I hear Grant’s footsteps and our daughter’s sounds as they make their way toward me in the room. The moment he enters, his face lights up, our daughter in his arms, looking like the luckiest man alive.

“The princess is ready, my queen.” He winks as he hands her over to me. Cassie is quick to pick up on the fact that she’s going to eat, already rooting to find her meal source. The moment she latches on, she calms, and it’s in these moments I savor each second because I know from watching my sister and Becca raise their kids, it all moves way too quickly.

Grant takes a seat on the floor, bringing his palms up my leg to massage my calves. I let my head fall back, and I close my eyes. Something about these quiet moments together fills my cup in a way I never imagined before.

After she’s fed, Cassie is completely out. Grant grabs her to place her in the bassinet. At least that’s the plan, but he goes ahead and puts her in the crib. I’m buttoning my shirt when I notice where he’s putting her.

“Grant, the bassinet,” I whisper.

He’s not answering me or making a move to take her into our room, where the bassinet is. Before I can understand what’s happening, he’s grabbing my hand and pulling me to stand, then moving us quickly out of the room and walking toward ours.

“What are you—” He cuts me off with a kiss. Not just any kiss, but a kiss that is bound to lead us being naked in bed. Once we separate, I see a slow smile cross his features.

“You didn’t really think I would not know today is six weeks since little bean joined the world, right? I have been counting down until this moment, Laney.” He’s pulling my leggings down my body and throwing them haphazardly across the room. Next to come off are my panties.

“Do you want me, Lane?” he asks, hopefulness in his tone.

“I always want you, Grant. It’s not even a question.” That spurs him on to remove my top, and my breasts fall, heavier and larger than I ever thought possible.

“Fuck, Laney. I love you so much. Look how perfect you are.” He buries his face in the crook of my neck and begins kissing me, biting my earlobe and whispering how much he wants to be inside me. I feel the wetness pool in my center, and I’m pulling on his clothing, frustrated he’s still fully dressed.

“Get this off, Grant. I need to feel you on me.” He pushes away from me and takes his clothes off. There’s no finesse to this moment because we’re desperate for one another.

Once he’s naked, he lunges for me, our movements frantic. He brings one of my tender breasts to his mouth, and the moan that escapes my mouth is feral. My need for this man is something I depend on. I am not complete without him. He is what makes me feel whole.

I feel his crown near my entrance, and I stop our movements.

“Grant, condom.” I can’t wait to have more children with him, but I want to enjoy what we have with Cassie before we add more.

“Shit, I forgot.” He gets up and moves toward the nightstand.

“Someone was feeling lucky,” I tell him, knowing he doesn’t usually have condoms in the house for us to use.

“Let’s just say my sister scared the shit out of me when I made the mistake of acting like breastfeeding was contraception enough.” He chuckles, and I know what he means. Becca was very clear that just by breastfeeding alone, there was no guarantee I wouldn’t be pregnant soon after starting to have sex again.

The moment he sheaths himself, he’s quick to return, his warm body engulfing mine, his lips taking over, kissing me until my lips tingle.

I push him to lay his body on the bed, and I straddle him. I got used to this position when I was pregnant, and the way I feel him hit those sweet spots deep inside me, I long for that after so long.

I hover over his cock and slowly start to ease down, his crown disappearing and causing me to moan once again. I’ve missed this, and from the look of desire on his face, he is feeling the same way.

His hands are on my hips, helping guide himself inside me, and the moment I’m fully seated on him, we both take deep breaths, letting my body adjust to his size. I was nervous about how I would feel after delivery, but from how I’m feeling right now, it’s absolutely incredible.

I slowly start to move, and my hands are on his pecs, finding my rhythm as he squeezes my ass.

“Laney, fuck, you feel so good. Baby, are you okay?” I nod at him, unable to form words, and I feel him hitting all the right spots inside me.

My movements get faster, unable to stop myself from chasing this high. I thought we’d take this slow, but I can’t get enough of this feeling. I missed connecting with Grant at this level, and the moment I felt him inside me, I couldn’t stop my body from moving.

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