Page 56 of If Only You Hurt

The moment I heard her groggy voice, my heart settled. It's hard being here and feeling I'm only complete in her arms. I know that I have left the most important part of my life in New York, and I can’t wait to get back. But looking at this view, I can’t help but imagine Laney and our baby by my side as we take in this beautiful spot of the world together one day in the future.

I snap a photo with my phone and send it off to her. She’s probably in a yoga class and won’t see it right now, but I can’t help but include her in whichever way I can. She's back to doing a few sporadic classes and she said it felt good to move her body again.

I’ve got too much energy, so I decide to start my morning with a run, maybe capture some photos along the beach before I have to meet the company I am working with on this part of my trip. I know that they had some ideas of what they’d like me to photograph, and I’ll be meeting them at a location about thirty minutes away from my hotel.

It’s been non-stop for two weeks while I’ve been in Fiji. We had a delay due to weather halfway through the shoot, but we got back on track and finished the photos that were envisioned. I’ve been itching to get back to Laney, so the weather has been nothing but something to sour my mood. My flight is tomorrow, and it can’t get home soon enough.

“Hey, Grant. Want to grab a few beers at the bar before we call it a night?” Antonio calls out at me as I’m about to walk into my hotel room. Going out will help pass the time, so I decide to do just that.

“Sure, man. Let me take a shower and get my suitcase together, and then I’ll meet you down at the bar. An hour okay?” He nods and walks off toward the elevator.

Antonio is one of the crew members for the shoot I’m doing with the magazine. He is probably the most laid-back guy I’ve met while working abroad.

I let myself in the room and take a moment to grab my phone and call Laney. It goes straight to voicemail, and I know that she’s most likely doing something at the yoga studio. I take a moment to type out a quick text and put my phone aside while I gather my belongings to get myself ready for my early morning flight.

“When I heard you scream, I thought I was going to piss myself.”

Actual tears are falling down my face as Antonio and Corey are retelling one of the many times the jungle made itself known while we were traveling throughout this beautiful location.

Today, a snake had come out of nowhere, and Corey was standing next to a plant that hid the slithering beast until it came right next to his foot. We all started running, but the screams Corey let out were something out of a horror film. Now that we are away from danger, it’s hard not to fuck around with him.

I glance up at the screen and see something flash about the United States. I feel the uptick in my heart rate in fear something has happened, which is common since Laney’s shooting. But this time, it seems that it’s a segment concerning the violence we see in my home country. Something eases inside me when I realize it isn’t a live segment but a compilation of news coverage from the years regarding the escalating violence in the United States.

I’m about to turn away, but then I see something—no, someone—who looks awfully familiar on the screen. I’m trying to make sense of what I’m seeing on television; however, my mind is firing at a million miles a minute.

The person on the screen looks about ten years younger, in distress and consoling someone who’s in his arms. The overall stature of the person is different, but it’s him, I know it.

I stand up abruptly, causing my chair to slide along the floor, falling to the ground behind me. I can’t help ignoring it, and I start gathering my things. Nothing around me is registering; my focus only on this image on the television. The moment the broadcast goes to a commercial, I’m rushing out the door.

“Grant, what’s up, man? You okay?” I hear the guys calling after me, but I wave them off, and I start toward the elevator, pulling my phone out of my back pocket.

My fingers are trembling because the fear that has taken over my body feels like it might overcome all my muscles.

I pull my phone to my ear, and it rings endlessly, and I feel like my concern is turning into panic. Laney is in trouble or she will be if I don’t get a hold of her. Something inside me is screaming at me that my instinct isn’t overdramatizing it.

“Hi, you’ve reached Laney. Just leave me a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Have a blessed day!” The sound of her voice recording doesn’t bring any relief, and all I feel is extreme nervousness. I need to get near her, to hold her, to know that she’s safe inside my arms.

Once I get to the elevator, I press the button, turning into one of those people who finds the mere notion that the elevator doesn’t open the second I walk up an inconvenience, and I continue to press the button. I feel the bile rising in my throat at the fact that something is wrong; I just know it. Seeing him on that screen, even if it was years before, isn’t just a coincidence. There’s something to him being somehow connected to Laney that causes me to nearly fall to my knees in fear.

The elevator finally opens, and I rush in and press my floor. I don’t care that my flight isn’t for hours, I’m going to the airport now and will try to get on a flight home sooner than my scheduled one.

As my elevator ascends the floors, I start to text Laney, but her phone is off. I know it because she does that when she teaches or does a class. I know she just returned to teaching classes, this time not in a hot room. She got back to the studio right after I left for Fiji, and she said it was going well.

The pace is a lot slower, and she was able to move with the students easily as she taught the class. No fainting spells took over, and it was a relief to hear that days ago. But now? Now, I am in utter fear she might be in danger. If not now, soon.

I'm jumping to conclusions but something about connecting these dots is leaving me uneasy and on edge. I just need to know she's okay and that she's not in harm's way. Once I can rest assured of that, I will talk this through with her and see her thoughts on the matter.

I get on my floor and decide to call my sister. Ellie is teaching and will most likely not have her phone available to her, but my sister might just pick up the damn phone.

It rings twice, and the stars must align because she picks up.

“Hey, Grant. You miss me?” my sister says in a playful tone only a big sister can possess.

“Listen to me, Becca. Something's wrong and I think someone wants to hurt Laney!”

Chapter Twenty-Six

LANEY

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