Page 49 of If Only You Hurt

“Well, who the hell else will deliver the baby, Becca?” Grant speaks this time, apparently on the same page as me.

“I just assumed I was too close for comfort on this one. I am honored you’d have me deliver the baby. Thank you.” She tosses the ultrasound wand and gives me a huge hug, then pulls away and moves around the bed to give her brother an embrace. Becca is so short she gets lost in his hug, as he’s so much taller than her.

I notice her pinch his side, and he lets go. “Such a prick! I hate when you hug me that tight and then won’t let go. I can’t breathe, and then when I try, I smell your gross armpit stink.”

I roll my eyes. I guess they’ll always be siblings, even in a moment as special as this.

“Excuse me, but I smell amazing. I showered this morning.” Grant stands a little taller, smugness dripping off him as he defends himself.

Becca rolls her eyes and then straightens herself out, almost getting back into her doctor character before resuming the ultrasound.

Once I’m disrobed from the waist down, I lay back down and follow Becca’s instructions to bring my feet together, then let my knees fall to the side. The nurse comes in with a few items in her hand.

I see her grab the transvaginal wand, and memories of that day return to me. I try to keep my breathing calm, but I can’t help the tears that prick the edges of my eyes.

“Hey, I’m here. You’re not going through any of this alone, Bean. I’m here for you. I love you.” He kisses my temple, catching the tear before it escapes down my face.

I nod and smile at him. I squeeze his hand tighter as Becca guides the wand in, and I watch the screen.

She’s looking, clicking buttons much like before, inspecting everything. “I’m sorry for any discomfort. I just want to make sure I look everywhere and also get a good picture of your cervix to measure the length. That’s important too.”

She seems to be getting more pictures of the inside of my vagina than I thought possible. The baby is still bouncing around, and it’s surreal that there’s a living human inside me, living life while I had no idea of its existence until the last hour.

“Look at what we made, Laney. You’re amazing.” Grant threads his fingers through my hair, pure love in his gaze at the screen. He kisses my knuckles again, and I truly hope life will give us this child after all we’ve lost.

“There it is,” Becca says, pointing at the monitor. “See this little thing right there?”

I nod, still unsure what I’m completely looking at.

“That’s your IUD. It’s just floating in your cervix. How did you not feel it, Laney? Also, it would have made sex uncomfortable for you or even both of you if it was hanging this low.”

“I don’t remember anything out of the ordinary that was uncomfortable for me,” Grant says, his cheeks turning a bright shade of pink, realizing he has to have this conversation with his sister.

“Yes, this is an awkward topic, so we will leave it at that.” She looks over her shoulder, and the nurse has the speculum ready for Becca to grab. Becca continues to explain, “If it’s just floating in there, it shouldn’t be an issue and will hopefully not interfere with the pregnancy in any way.”

Once the IUD is removed, which I didn't even feel her doing, she inspects the area where the speculum is, removes it, and stands up. She’s got a smile on her face as she walks toward the trash to toss her gloves, then washes her hands before leaving the room.

Becca comes back in while the nurse leaves to finish charting.

“So that IUD failed, and I can’t really explain why aside from it simply fell out. That’s why a pregnancy resulted. Now, the IUD was sitting there, not at all implanted where it was supposed to be. I want you to take it easy for the rest of the week due to the fact that there was an IUD in there, coupled with the fact you did faint teaching that class.”

“You fainted?” Grant exclaims.

Shit. I forgot to explain what happened. I guess we got too caught up in the fact that I was pregnant to fill him in on the why of this entire situation.

“Um, yes?” It comes out more like a question from me because I’m embarrassed by the fact that I was out there, living life with no idea of this baby growing inside me.

“Oh my gosh, Laney. I told you something was off. You kept brushing it off. No more classes for you,” he says, immediately causing me to get on the defensive.

“Excuse me? What do you mean ‘no more classes?’” I say back.

“Yeah, Grant, what do you mean she can’t teach classes anymore?” His sister is shooting daggers at her little brother. Becca is not one for the whole alpha male type, and she is quick to stand up for me.

“Oh, come on. She fainted while teaching today. Am I the only one concerned here?” He stands up from the chair he was sitting in by my side.

“Listen, Grant, I am Laney’s doctor and one of her closest friends. I’m your sister. This is my niece or nephew in there. So, I will say this as nicely as I know how. Laney is pregnant. She’s not sick. She’s not unable to be herself. She can still do all the things she did before, after this week of rest,” she looks over at me to make her point, “then she can resume regular activity. I would maybe hold off the hot room if you weren’t acclimating well to begin with. Aside from that, you can do yoga." I beam at her and she turns her attention to Grant. "Do you understand me, little brother?”

She’s got her defensive mama-bear look going, hands on hips and all. I can’t help the chuckle that escapes as this little woman stands tall against her brother, who towers over her.

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