Page 40 of If Only You Hurt

I shake my head. “He hasn’t called, nor do I know when he will be back. We text, but it just feels strained when we do.”

I can’t help but hold pain in my voice when describing how I’m feeling about the entire situation. I take a sip of tea and feel the warmth pass through me like a warm hug.

“Give it time, Lane. He loves you. He’ll be back.” My sister says this, but little does she comprehend how deep my love for Grant goes.

I’ve loved Grant for as long as I can remember. The problem is I wasn’t honest when I should have been. I’ve kept him at a distance for that reason and that reason alone. Now that he knows about the pregnancy, I feel like he’s seeing me, all of me, for the first time since the shooting, and he’s disappointed in who stands in front of him.

I nod toward my sister, and she’s quickly pulled from this moment and begins getting things in order to get the kids ready and out the door.

Mornings in this house are hectic, much like my mornings were when I was living with Becca. I watch as Elody and the kids move quickly through the kitchen, making breakfast and grabbing lunches in order to get themselves to school.

Tyler stays back a few minutes, even though he’s getting a ride from his mom to avoid the cold weather. Elody and the girls are running up and down the stairs, claiming they left something upstairs.

“Aunt Lane, everything okay?” my nephew inquires as I continue to stand in the kitchen, my movements minimal as the rest of them are scurrying about.

Tyler has always been a little more attentive than a usual teen. He’s constantly checking in on me, and it doesn’t feel like it comes from a place of pity. He simply cares, which is rare for a teenager. I can’t help but think of his dad when this side of him comes out.

Beau was a lot like this, always looking out for those around him. There isn’t a moment I don’t miss my brother-in-law, but it’s in moments like these I feel like he’s closer than I’ve given credit to when his son shows this nurturing side of himself.

“Yeah, just some stuff going on with Grant and me. Nothing to worry about.” I rub my hand on Tyler’s bicep, hoping he can sense how grateful I am for caring.

“Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad that he won’t go back to talking to you again.” He smiles at me, and I hold on to his words in hopes that the universe hears this and grants me this wish.

“Thanks, Ty. I hope so.” I feel the emotion creeping in again, and I can’t continue with more because I’m afraid the tears will begin.

Soon enough, they’re all running out the door, yelling at me to have a good day, and before I can even grasp it, the house is silent. I usually lean into the comfort of the quietness of the house, but today, it feels deafening.

Before I have much time to sit with my own discomfort, there’s a knock on my door. I place my tea on the kitchen counter and make my way to the front. I can’t help the hope that blossoms in my chest that Grant has decided to come back to the city and work things out with me.

My hopes are quickly shattered when I find Becca on the other end of the door, holding up some pastries, with Betty by her side.

The moment the sweet pup sees me, she rushes toward me, tail wagging, full of love to offer. Becca follows her dog into the house, me greeting her with a hug, and we make our way to the kitchen.

“Hey. What brings you by, Becca?”

I can’t help but wonder why she’s here. I have no problem hanging out with her on my own, but it’s not as common now that my sister moved to the city. We usually hang out the three of us together, rarely finding time for it to just be the two of us.

“I got a text from your sister before she headed to school saying you were up, so I thought I’d swing by with some snacks and your favorite fur baby.” She looks down at Betty, and I see her feign disappointment when she sees her dog looking at me like I hung the moon.

I can’t help but smile. Betty has taken to me in a way I never expected. She seems to sense I need a little tenderness compared to others and is not shy about showing her love for me each time we are around one another.

“I appreciate that. Thanks for coming by and for bringing my favorite girl over.” I bend down and scratch behind Betty’s ear. She leans into my touch, and my heart melts a little more for this canine buddy of mine.

“Let’s go sit. I’m going to grab some tea too. Just walking a few doors down made my muscles freeze.” She shivers, and I can’t help the smile that consumes my features.

“I’ll make you the tea, you sit down. Thanks for the morning pastries.” I open the bag and take a big whiff of the blueberry muffin she brought by. For some reason, this smells even better than it usually does. I can’t help the big inhale I take of the sugary goodness in the pastry bag.

“No problem. Hudson picked up the kids this morning, and I have a little while before I have to head over to the hospital. I have a patient in labor, but she’s not anywhere near delivering, so I’ve got some time.” She’s removing her layers of clothes like one peels an onion.

Once she’s comfortable, she plops down. Betty has long been removed from her leash and taken a seat in a corner nearby. My sister keeps a bed for Betty in the kitchen because Becca claims the dog can’t be away from her. I think Becca’s love for this dog goes beyond what some feel toward some humans. It’s quite cute to see.

I get another mug of tea ready for Becca, bring my drink along with hers to the table, and sit across from her. She’s inspecting me, not sure what she’s hoping to find.

“So, no word from Grant yet about when he’s coming back to the city?” Becca asks me.

Usually, I know Grant’s plans and whereabouts better than anyone, even his sister, but not today. She probably knows more about his plans than I do, which feels incredibly uncomfortable for me.

I shake my head, unable to elaborate further.

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