Page 1 of If Only You Hurt

Prologue

LANEY

Fall 2012

“Grant, do you have time to talk later?” The phone is resting against my ear, and all I want is Grant here, in front of me, instead of thousands of miles away in a different country. While I wait for his response, I’m dashing across campus to a class I don’t want to be late for.

“Yeah, I have something to talk to you about too. Call me when you’re back at your apartment. The only thing I have on the agenda is a photoshoot around sunset. You should see the mountain range here. It’s magnificent.”

I can hear him rummaging through his things. Forever the multitasker, my Grant.

“Okay, sounds good. Let’s do a video chat so I can see your handsome face.” I hear him chuckle, and the sound does something to me.

“Careful, Bean, I’d think you’re catching feelings for me.” His nickname for me has always been something that warms my heart and the smile on my face is immediate.

“Imagine!” I scoff, playing it off like I could never do such a thing. Little did he know that he has always been my everything, despite me trying to fight this attraction we always had for one another.

Grant Stanley, despite what people assume, has been my best friend since we were still in diapers. He moved to my small town of Saddle Ridge, Nebraska, from California, and we’ve been close ever since. He and I were always together until he moved to New York City when we were five, and he only came back for visits during breaks in school. We were inseparable when we were babies, and even as the miles between us grew further, whenever we reconnected, we gravitated toward one another more often than not.

Our mothers are best friends, along with our older sisters. We grew tight from the beginning, and even though our families hoped for more between us, for so long, we have simply been each other’s person in the most platonic way possible. Until those lines were blurred, and now I’m standing here, counting the minutes until I can have a proper conversation with him after class.

“Laney, you still there?” He pulls me out of my thoughts, and I recover as quickly as I can.

“Yes, sorry, I’m here. Got distracted with the changing leaves.”

My little lie easily slips from my lips. I hear him laugh on the other end, and luckily, he can’t see me right now because I know he can read me like a book and he’s see right through my attempt to veer away from what I really want to talk to him about.

“So I’ll wait to hear from you, then?” he asks.

“Yes, I’ll call once I’m home. I hope you have a great day until then. Love you.”

“Love you, Bean.” Hearing him say he loves me is something I’ve grown used to. It’s something we’ve said to one another for so long, it’s automatic. But as the years have passed, my love for him has blossomed into something more, and I’m just not sure he’s on the same page as me.

We haven’t seen each other in six weeks, and each time he leaves is harder. He’s been in South America since he left the States, and I know that each day is jam-packed for him as he’s trying to get his work out there to eventually become a successful travel photographer. He has to grow his portfolio as he travels, and I can’t wait to see the photos from his recent trip. I’m in my second year at Wyoming U, finally back on my usual hectic schedule after being home in Saddle Ridge this past summer. My hometown is quiet and quaint, and even if I love my small little hometown, I long for the busy nature of my college life.

Once I hang up with Grant, I see the time and realize I better hustle to this class. I’m taking an intro to psychology class to see if it’s an area of study I’d be interested in. My sister has always known what she wanted to do in life since she was a little girl, but I’ve always been into too many things.

My mom says I’m more of a gypsy, and I let the wind guide me. I am more artsy than my family members, and luckily, I grew up in a house that let me follow my own path. Too bad I have no clue what path that is while I inch closer to needing to declare a major.

The leaves are already changing as summer is quickly flowing into fall, and I know I’ll soon be bundled in layers of clothes while I make my way through campus. I better soak up these last few mornings of warmth before I will be itching for a hot coffee and mittens.

As I make my way up the stairs, I run into Artie, a friend I made last year in the dorms. His smile is from ear to ear, as he started dating one of our dormmates, Eugene, this past summer. I haven’t seen my friend happier.

“Hey, Artie. How was the weekend? Did you end up at that Sigma party on Friday?” I ask as he holds the door to the class we are both in together.

“Yeah, for about an hour. It was a little lame, so we went back to my place and hung out there.” He waggles his eyebrows, and I already know that anything beyond that would be too much information for me. I do not need to hear my friend brag about his sex life, while mine is non-existent and might be for some time now.

Our school is older, with so much history, and this class takes place in a part of the school that doesn’t have auditorium seating. The student body isn’t composed of many students, so even for an intro to psych class, it isn’t too crowded. We grab seats in the middle and begin getting our laptops out of our bags.

“Eugene is meeting me for lunch over at Hanley’s. Wanna join?” Artie is addicted to this little sandwich place that is located on campus and a fun spot to lounge around between classes.

“Yeah, I think so. I only have this class today, but I can hang out for a little while. I have a call with Grant later, so I don’t want to miss my window to video him before he has to head out to photograph more of the landscape.” I’m focused on getting my materials out as I speak, but the moment I look over, I see Artie giving me his mischievous smile.

“Are you going to tell him?” Artie is my closest friend here, and I know that he wants me to talk to Grant and tell him everything going on.

“I will. I just hate that he has to hear me talk about this over the phone. But even for the few hours I’ve carried this, it’s already driving me mad. I must tell him and see where things go, you know?”

“Finally, let’s see where sexy Grant lands. Most likely in your bed the moment you divulge all your secrets!” I smack him, and he just laughs. I love Artie, but he’s ever the romantic. He says this whole friendship I’ve had with Grant is a ruse for something so much better. He says it is a whole friends-to-lovers scenario that he can’t wait to watch unfold.

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