Page 7 of Trash Talk

Chapter 4

Knox- 18 years old

It’s been a month since I’ve seen, heard from or talked to Ruby. I knew sex would change us. I tried to warn her. But she wouldn’t let it go. She had a plan, and she was going to see it through. Don’t get me wrong; it wasn’t something I hadn’t dreamed about. I’ve been fantasizing about her for years. But I wanted it all with her. She only wanted the one time. That wasn’t ever going to be enough.

But after I turned her down for the third time, she suggested I find someone else to help her out. I believe her words were, ‘willing and reliable.’ Who even talks like that? Some other guy putting his hands all over Ruby? Over my dead fucking body. No one but me was going to touch her. If I had my way, no one but me would touch her for the rest of our lives. My fate was sealed before I even laid one finger on all that smooth, tan skin; one time was all it took. I went back for seconds. And thirds. Hell, I’d go back for millionths. Like an addict, I was hooked. On something I can’t have. Something she’s never going to let me have again. God, I miss her. Not just the sex. I miss my best friend.

I am so fucked. My head isn’t even here. My intro classes are all easy, but I can't focus. I’m majoring in business. Help Gramps at the bar when I finish school if a career in the pros doesn’t pan out. Pre-season training and practice starts in a couple weeks, but I can’t even think about basketball. Why is Ruby ghosting me?

We had sex. Hell, I might as well call it what it was; we made love (because make no mistake, I love Ruby). Three days after she sprung her insane plan on me, she finally talked me into the thing I’d wanted to do forever. We spent three glorious days and nights exploring each other’s bodies. At my house. At hers. In my truck. On a private little spot on the beach at Lake Persimmon. We made out. Felt each other up. Dry humped. Oral. You name it, we did it. We went slow. I let her lead. She let me know what she liked and what she didn’t.

There wasn’t anything she did that I didn’t like. There’s never been anything about her, I didn’t love. Her fire, her determination, her strength. Since the first time I laid eyes on her, I couldn’t get enough. Those blazing blue eyes, that told me what an idiot I was for underestimating her, and how much pleasure she’d take proving me wrong, drew me in. I fell for that wicked glint, that would shine every time I laid down a challenge, before I even knew what hit me. Ruby is a big personality in a little package. She knows what she wants and goes after it. And for a moment, she had wanted me.

I wanted to get her comfortable before we went all the way. Wanted her to enjoy it. And she did. We both did. I knew it was going to hurt, but I tried my best to make it feel good before and after. We laid in bed cuddling, for a while not saying anything, just catching our breath. I’ve never felt more alive. Never felt more connected to another human being. I wanted more. Every moment we spent exploring each other, my feelings grew. But I knew how she felt. We’d already pushed her boundaries from one time to three.

I should’ve known I was pressing my luck with a conversation. She said, ‘romantic relationships between friends are messy.’ She wanted us to stay clean. Stay what we always had been, but there’s no way I could go back. Not now. Not after I knew how good she felt in my arms. How hot she is coming undone beneath me (and on top of me). How whole my heart feels when she’s next to me. Nope, I had to go and ruin everything by asking, ‘why don’t we take this one day at a time and see where it goes?’ After I’d waxed poetic about how much I cared about her and never having better sex in my life. I honestly thought it was because of how connected we were. If I’d known she’d sever that connection a day later, I would’ve kept my big fat mouth shut.

We had plans to meet up for a field party at Graham’s. His parents own a ranch on the north side of town, close to the Alexander’s vineyard actually. Well, relatively close. There’s almost a hundred acres separating the two.

We’ve had an EOS (End of Summer) bonfire every year since ninth grade (far enough from the house so we don’t bother his parents and little sister). Graham’s brothers usually come out and chill for a bit with us too. Although Everett’s already left for school, so it’s just Wyatt joining us tonight. Guess he’ll have to carry on the tradition for us since this’ll be our last send off. Graham and I are headed to Clemson together in a week and a half.

Knowing it would be one of the last times I got to hang out with Ruby before she left for ‘lake week’ with the girls (every summer her friends get together at Poppy’s parent’s cabin on Lake Norman and party down—it’s their version of an EOS Bash), I couldn’t wait to see her. I wanted her all to myself, but if we were going to have some private time, we were going to have to sneak away. Poppy and HK drove up to the lake already, but Emma’ll be here tonight. (She’s slowly coming out of her depression, but she still has a ways to go. As expected, her mom’s death hit her family hard.)

They’re going to be the only people from the public school here, so it’s good they have each other. Some of those prep-school girls are vicious. Brit included. She was here earlier. Trying to get back with me. Sitting in my lap, making out with my cheek. Grabbing my dick. I kept telling her no and pushing her away. She was wasted. And not listening. I finally had to shove her off me, and her drunk ass almost landed in the fire. I don’t know what she’s thinking. We are over. Have been for months. I’m about to leave for college and she’s acting like a long-distance relationship between the two of us will work now. I guess her summer fling ended.

Regardless, I waited all night. Graham finally dragged me up to the house, drunk as a skunk, so I could sleep it off. The only place that gets good reception out here, is behind the barn or the back corner of the front porch. I checked my phone. No missed calls. I hope she’s okay. It’s late, but I send out a text anyway. I wasn’t expecting a reply. Well, I didn’t get one. Not that night or the next day, or the next. Nothing. Maybe they decided to skip the party and head straight to the lake. But why didn’t she call or text? She had to have known I’d worry. I knew reception out there sucked. So, I waited until I knew she’d be back.

I called Friday, but it went straight to voicemail. I called Saturday and Sunday. Same thing. Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was leaving in two days. I had to see her. Talk to her. If she didn’t want a relationship, fine. I’d deal with it; she didn’t need to ignore me. I’d deal with whatever she wanted to be until she came around to my way of thinking. But I wasn’t just gonna let her pretend like we were nothing.

I walked over to the block of townhouses next to Gramps, knocked on the Kendall’s front door, and waited. Knocked again. And waited. I know someone is here damnit. Two of their cars are in the lot.

Finally, MB came to the door. She didn’t look like her usually bubbly self. She looked pissed. “What do you want, Teller?” She’s never called me that. Only Ruby and my teammates call me by my last name. MB always calls me Knox or Foxy Knoxy when she’s in a good mood (which is ninety-nine percent of the time). WTF.

“Umm, is Ruby back yet?”

“Yeah, but she doesn’t wanna see you.”

“I’m leaving in two days. I need to talk to her before I go.”

“You don’t get it. She doesn’t want to talk to you. She doesn’t want to see you, like ever again. Go man-whore it up in college and just forget about her. That should be easy for you.” Then she’d slammed the door in my face. What the fuck just happened? What did I do? I had no idea. And I had a feeling that if I didn’t fix this, I may never know.

I miss my best friend. The woman I know I should be with right now. Deep in my bones, the woman I know I should spend my life with. How in the hell do I get her back? First, I need to get her to talk to me. Unblock my number. Stop spamming my emails. Stop returning the snail mail I send.

My class was cancelled today, so I’m free and clear for three days. This is my last chance to go home for the weekend before the season starts. I throw some clothes into a bag and fly out of my dorm with new determination. I will talk to that stubborn girl if it’s the last thing I do. She can’t avoid me forever.

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