Page 27 of Trash Talk

Chapter 16

Knox- 2 weeks later

I’ve noticed Ruby’s confidence returning, but we’re still not at pre-douche levels yet. I’m building her up. That’s what you do for the people you love. It’s been a while since a man has done that for her. Ruby’s a tricky case. Her stubbornness and pride demand that I not let her in on what I’m doing. It’s a secret. But I’ve always known how much she thrives on a challenge. So, I make bets with her, and small dares (like we used to), and every time she rises to the occasion. She wins. Because that’s my Ruby. I don’t let her win; this isn’t some pity party. She’s just that good. She’s a fighter. She’s lost some of her fire over the years. This is about getting her back to herself. Where she’s comfortable in the knowledge that there isn’t anything she can’t do.I have to do that before I can get her back.

I don’t know who she let put her down… Well, that’s not exactly true— I’ve kept a running tally on all the assholes that came after me. First there was Danny, then Perry, followed by Andrew, but this last guy Barry was the worst. They’re all blond, manicured douche nozzles that are nowhere near good enough for her. But as long as she’ll let me, I’ll remind her what kind of woman she is. The woman I see every time I look at her. The woman I love. There’s nothing she can’t do once she puts her mind to it.

Sure, I lose way more often than I win, but this isn’t about me. And it’s not like I get nothing out of it. In the end we’ll both be winners. Plus, this is the fun part. Watching Ruby get her confidence back is all the reward I need. Watching her swim buck naked in Lake Persimmon with a huge grin on her face after I dared her to skinny dip wasn’t bad either. Her dark, wet skin cutting through the water, glistening in the moonlight. Of course, the torture was too much to bear, so when she dared me back, I joined her immediately. The blow job she gave me on the dock while her body was still partially submerged under water (with her perfect breasts playing peek-a-boo in the rippling waves) was the cherry on top.

Feeling her body gripping me from behind on my bike, her arms wrapped tightly around me as the motor of my Harley vibrated between our legs— heaven. She’d never ridden before. I promised her an exhilarating experience, and I delivered. We drove out to the coast, ate roadside BBQ, played at the beach for hours and came home with a fresh tan. I told her before we left if she didn’t like it, I’d do something I know she loves when we got home. She loved being on the back of my bike, but I still ate her pussy anyway.

We don’t bet for money anymore, rather things I knows she wants. If I win, I get rewarded; if she wins, I still get rewarded. Ruby and I have been indulging in what she lovingly calls ‘hate-sex,’ for a couple of weeks now, and I couldn’t be happier. Well, I could be. She could let me in. Let me be there for her. Talk to me. We’ll get there though.

I promised myself years ago that if I were ever given another chance with her, I'd take my time, and I wouldn’t blow it (yes, I realize how many times I've blown it, and I take full responsibility for my idiotic actions in the past). So that’s what I’m doing.

We’re easily having the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, but it’s more than that. There are feelings involved. Whether she can admit it or not, yet. I can; I’ve always wanted more with Ruby. Fairly sure it’s not a secret that I’ve been in love with her for the last fifteen years. Well, it’s not a secret to anyone, but Ruby. She still thinks we’re enemies. I just have to change her mind about me, but the harder I press, the farther she pushes me away. I’ll be patient. I’ve rushed her before and paid a heavy price. I don’t plan on repeating past mistakes.

I’m whittling away her resolve. I’ll change the terms of our arrangement so gradually; she won’t want it to end in a month. We’ve already gone to dinner and breakfast a few times. I took her to the movies last night where we made out like teenagers in the back row (we also made each other come in our hands— it was glorious). We even text occasionally. She’s slowly letting me back in. Pretty soon we’ll be openly dating. Then I’ll be her boyfriend. And ultimately, I’m going to lock that shit down permanently. I just have to get her head out of our past, so she can see our future. Get her to trust me again. Love me again.

Some would say I’m dreaming. Namely Graham. We're out walking his orchard, talking about fruit (I’m the silent partner in Freeman Cider Co). When suddenly, he’s changing course and giving me what for. “I can’t believe you’re doing this shit again; you really are a glutton for punishment.”

“I can’t help it; I love her.”

“Yeah. Well, in case you’ve forgotten, y’all have been here before, and she ripped your fucking heart out.”

I know what happened. I was there. But I have to trust her; it’s the only way to get what I want. This feels like it’s our last shot to get it right. And I have to get it right this time. Ruby’s it for me. It’s not like Graham doesn’t get it. If he were given a second chance, he’d take it too.

“I have to try, man. She’s the one. She’s gotten away a few times, but I feel like this time is different.”

“Why? Because she put ridiculous stipulations on what this is and what it isn’t. You’re headed for heartbreak. Again.”

“Maybe. At least this time I have a plan. And a positive fucking attitude. It’s her ridiculous stipulations that make her feel safe; she’ll have no idea she’s falling for me until it’s too late.”

“Yeah, and then what will she do? Get scared and pump the brakes like she always does.”

“Probably. But I’m going to be patient this time. It only works if she comes to me. If she trusts me. If she hands control over to me. Then we can make it work together. And I’ll do whatever I have to do to make her mine again.”

“Jesus, you’ve turned into such a sap. I don’t even know how we’re friends anymore.” He slings an arm around my shoulders for a second. We’re still as close as brothers. And I can count on Graham for anything. Besides a pep talk. Especially where Ruby’s concerned. He worries about me. And the feeling’s mutual. Ever since Cyrus passed, he’s a changed man. Quiet, private, reserved. Graham was the life of the party. Never took anything seriously. Quick with a joke. I haven’t seen him relax in years. This orchard and his company are his life. I don’t think he’s gotten laid in months. He’s become reclusive, and it’s not healthy.

“You know I just worry about you. It took you forever to recover from the last time. This time, I’m afraid you won’t.” He pauses to look me in the eye, “just promise me if it doesn’t work this time, it’ll be the last attempt you make. No girl is worth three heartbreaks.”

“I think we both know there are some girls worth a million heartbreaks.” Not to poke the bear, but I know how he felt about Em. How he still feels about her, even though he’d deny it until he was blue in the face. Some mistakes, you don’t come back from. I have to believe Ruby and I can though. “Besides, you have to have someone to live through vicariously. Unless you’re getting some action, I don’t know about.”

“Dick. It’s been a while actually. I may have to go out this weekend; see what I can get into.”

Lies. He never goes out anymore. Unless I, or his brothers, somehow convince him to take a night off. Which happens exactly four times a year. Graham has become a seasonal drinker, and he already went out with us in April. We’ll have to wait ‘til at least mid-July for another outing.

We say our goodbyes, and I leave the ranch, but not before visiting their store. I grab a few snacks and a six pack of cider. Graham knew he wanted to start a hard cider company after college but didn’t have the start-up capital. After Cyrus died, things were a mess for a while. But he had the land and the beginnings of an orchard, so I loaned him a bit for equipment and whatever else he needed. He took it from there (I may not know jack shit about farming, but I know a smart investment when I see one). Seven years later we have a productive publicly traded company bringing in a cushy profit. We distribute product all over the Southeast and are talking about expanding.

Mr. Rivers owns eighty acres between Freeman Ranch and the Alexander’s vineyard. Word on the street is, he’s thinking of retiring. That’s been the word on the street for the past two years though. Graham currently rents twenty-five acres on his property for a peach grove. We’d love to buy the land and plant more trees now that the peach cider is a big hit.

I’m heading toward Ruby’s on the dirt road skirting the edge of River’s property. It cuts through the back of Alexander Vineyards and leads directly to the cottages. If I can talk her into knocking off early, we can have a picnic by the lake and watch the sunset (among other things). I’ve only got a month to convince her to extend our deal. What we have together, doesn’t have an end date. We are forever. Knox and Ruby sitting in a tree. Love, marriage, babies. I want it all with her. She’s it for me. Always has been. Always will be.

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