Page 9 of Trash Talk

Chapter 6

Ruby- 17 years old

This summer has been absolute perfection, and I don’t want it to end. I also don’t want to ruin the last few weeks if I can help it. I can’t believe I’m graduating high school next year. It’s going to be the best year ever. Em, Pop and I made a pact to attend Clemson together (HK has her heart set on Emory— the little overachiever). The only way I’m going to college is on scholarship. So far Coastal Carolina’s scouts have been the only ones interested, but I’m still holding out hope. I just need to kill it this last year.

Clemson’s one of the only local colleges that offers programs for all of us that also has a good ball team. It’s bad enough that HK will be hours away. I don’t want to split up our group any more than necessary. Going through college without my girls by my side is unimaginable. I can’t wrap my head around being away from Knox that long either.

Finger’s crossed, it won’t be for long, and we’ll be together again next year. He’ll be at Clemson in a few weeks, and I already miss him. Guess I’ll just have to find new people around town to hustle. But it won’t be the same. Once basketball season starts up, he’ll be too busy to call. He’s promised to come home at least once a month (it’s only a three-and-a-half-hour drive), but I know, he’ll have a lot going on. Classes to study for, practice and games to go to, new friends to hang out with. I’ll be forgotten. He’ll be the big man on campus, and I’ll just be his little friend from home. That’s why I have to ask him to do this before he leaves.

I’ve never been so nervous. I’m about to ask my best friend for something, I probably shouldn’t. It’ll probably change everything. But honestly, I don’t feel comfortable with anyone else. And after this summer is over it’ll be too late. He’ll either be back with Brit (that bitch broke up with him right after graduation, because she didn’t want a long-distance relationship, then left for Cancún the next day— good riddance), he’ll have a new girlfriend, or he’ll turn into a man-whore like every other red-blooded coed in America and all traces of my sweet best friend will be erased. Plus, he’s the only one I trust with this particular task. He promised I could count on him for anything. That he’d always be there for me. Well, I need him for this.

You may want to know why I desperately need my best friend to help me get rid of my virginity. I have my reasons. First, I’m ready to have sex, but I have yet to find a boy I want to date. The guys I’ve been out with only want one thing from me, and I’d rather not lose my virginity to Russell Prescott in the back of his mom’s minivan. Secondly, I want my first time to be special. With someone I care about. The boys after that can be for pure enjoyment or experimentation or whatever. But the first needs to mean something, at least that’s what mom says. She wants me to be ready when I start down that path, so we talked about birth control, then she went on to discuss the wonders of sex and how magical it is when you’re with someone that cares about you. Honestly, it was the most uncomfortable and awkward conversation of my life. Long story short, I’m on the pill and have decided that my best friend is my only option if I want to be deflowered before school starts. Which brings me to my final reason, I trust Knox.

There are as many problems with this cockamamie plan I’ve concocted as reasons I have for going through with it. One: I’ve never really thought of Knox in a sexual way. Well, other than the first moment I laid eyes on him. He is extremely attractive, but then he opens his mouth and stupid boy words fly out. There were times in the past when he’s looked at me, and I thought he might be thinking thoughts that weren’t strictly of the friendship variety, but he’s never said anything. We’ve never crossed that line. I’d rather have him as a friend, than nothing. And something tells me if we got romantically involved and it went south, it would be the end of us. I couldn’t handle that. But what I’m asking for isn’t romance. It’s a one-time gift. One only he can give me. Maybe if we can set some ground rules before we start, we can just go back to being friends after, like nothing ever happened. Keep our emotions out of it. People do it all the time. Right?

Second: I have almost no experience whatsoever. I’ve kissed guys. And I let Russell put his hand up my shirt. It felt okay, but honestly, I have no idea what all the fuss about boob-grabbing is. Maybe Russ just didn’t know what he was doing. And even though, I’ve never had a sexual thought about my friend, word on the street is, he knows what he’s doing. Either that or Brittany Lennard is a braggadocious slore of a liar. I just think Knox would be gentle with me, see that my needs are met as well as his own, wouldn’t make fun of me for my inexperience. He’d teach me how to enjoy it. You know, because he cares about me. And if it’s something I’m going to do for the rest of my life, I want to enjoy it.

Third: I only have seventeen and a half days to talk him into this. It’s not a lot of time. When the thought first occurred to me, I figured he’d jump at the chance. But now that I’m actually putting plan into action, I have my doubts. He’ll probably want to have a lengthy conversation about sex beforehand that will be as equally painful as the one with my mother. And I don’t do well in awkward situations. Ugh. Now I’m twentieth guessing myself.

It’s not a big deal Ruby. Put on your big girl panties, walk next door and just ask him. It’s not like I haven’t talked to him a thousand times before. No biggie. He’ll either agree or not. If not, then maybe he can help me find someone willing and reliable before summer’s out. You know, vet some guys. Help me out in my moment of need. After all, what are friends for?

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