Page 38 of Smooth Talk

“Hmm, that is suspect. I mean, why would he go so hard, just to abandon it? He doesn’t seem like a quitter. What’s his schedule been like recently?”

I gulp, “He’s been out of town. He was in Jamaica for a wedding for a week, then he went to visit his family in Nashville for a bit, and he’s in Charleston now with some clients and will be there until Friday.”

“Wow. You sure you’re not his personal assistant?” She laughs, “that’s an awful lot of information to have about someone who’s ghosting you.”

“I never said he was ghosting me. Just that he hasn’t asked me out again.” I hesitate to be completely forthcoming. I’ve been second guessing his intentions and my memory for weeks now. There’s only one other person I know that’s better than Sara at giving advice, and since I’m not going to dial up dear old dad for this convo, I violate my own privacy. I need guidance! “We talk or text daily, but we haven’t facetimed in a while.”

“OMG! You’ve been dating for a month and I’m just now hearing about it. I cannot believe you kept this from me!”

Ugh, I knew this was coming. “I didn’t say anything at first because I wasn’t sure how he felt about me or how I felt about him. He’s a lot like Reed in some ways.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. How?”

“Well, he’s wealthy and charming and handsome. He lives a very public life. I’m a super private person, and I’m not sure I’m interested in having the press dissect my life again. I couldn’t go through that, and neither could Harp. His intensity scares me a little, but… He gives me butterflies.”

“So did Reed,” she states drolly.

“I know. Can you see my dilemma?”

“Sweetie, all I can say is that Grayson isn’t Reed. Take things slow. See if he’s someone you can trust. He seems to genuinely care and probably hasn’t asked you out again because he’s not in a position to do so. He’s been busy.”

“We both have.”

“Well, you’ve obviously found the time for nightly chats. And no man calls a woman every day for weeks on end that he’s not interested in. I don’t think he’s looking for a friend, Pop; I think he wants to get to know you, and he knows not to go too fast. And I think you’re scared and possibly in denial.”

Have I really been out of the loop so long, I don’t realize when a man wants me? And why would he? Grayson dates models and debutants. I’m just me. I run and work out, but I have curves and freckles and a few stretch marks curtesy of motherhood. I consider myself girl-next-door pretty, not supermodel pretty.

“You think? I mean, wouldn’t he want to make plans with me for when he gets back if he’s interested in something beyond friendship? Wouldn’t he tell me he’s interested if he were?”

“Well, he does seem the type to make his intentions known. Has he? What do you two talk about?”

“I mean, he wanted a date at first. But now we usually just talk about work stuff, Harper or town gossip. He talks about his family mostly and his ideas for Willow Creek once he gets elected. Oh, and his dog! He’s got the sweetest little chocolate lab, who’s kisses are much friendlier than his dad’s.” I chuckle thinking about Gunner’s tongue licking up the side of me and Harp’s faces. And that sweet puppy grin he had on his face afterward. Grayson had just smiled at us and shook his head like he was amazed.

“He says he misses me, but it’s always accompanied with the same sentiment for Harper.” I sigh and it hits me, “What if he’s friend-zoning me? He wanted to date me at first, but now that he’s gotten to know me, he’s no longer interested. He likes me; he just doesn’t find me sexually attractive. He’s just being nice. He loves Harp, obviously, but it’s because no one is capable of any other emotion when it comes to that child. He’s in the middle of a campaign. It would be the absolute worst time to start dating someone. And he can’t be mean to me because that would be one less vote for him on election day. It explains everything; I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.”

“Slow down. You’re selling yourself way short. You are smart, beautiful, talented, sexy and you’re my best friend. If he is friend-zoning you, he’s clearly not as smart as everyone makes him out to be. I don’t care if he did go to Harvard.”

“I cannot believe I’ve been so blind. He wants to be ‘just friends’ (again with my air quotes) and I’m having all kinds of sexy-time dreams about him. So inappropriate. He wants me to revamp his house for a photoshoot in a couple months. I’m friends with his mom and grandmother. He’s a nice guy that’s taking a step back and trying to not make things awkward.” I smack my forehead. How could I have misread the signs this badly?

“Well, just because he appreciates your vocational talent doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to sample your bedroom talents as well,” she breaks through my momentary tantrum.

“I hope so because I wouldn’t mind sharing those talents. I mean, I want to aggressively cuddle that man.”

She laughs and clears her throat, “I think you should re-evaluate what you want from him, and your definition of sexy-times. You’ve been in mommy-world for too long. You need to have a long weekend in adult-landia. Maybe a few months would be more appropriate. He’s probably just waiting for the right time. He’s been busy; you’ve been busy, have a little patience. You said he’s coming home Friday?”

“Yeah,” I sigh. My hopefulness is creeping back in.

“See what he does this weekend.”

“Harp’s party is Saturday.”

“Oh, yeah. Her gift is in the mail BTDubs. Is he invited?”

“No. Well, Harp invited him a couple weeks ago, but I doubt he remembers. He hasn’t said anything, and I haven’t brought it up again. I didn’t want to put him in an awkward position if he can’t or doesn’t want to come. And I really don’t want to deal with my mom’s reaction if he does. She tends to blow things out of proportion, you know?”

“That she does, but it’s very endearing.” To her maybe. “Well, if he shows, make a move. Maybe not at the party, but after. If he doesn’t reciprocate, you’ll know he just wants to be friends. He does have several brothers who are equally eligible, does he not?” I can hear the smirk in her voice, and it does wonders for the sour mood I’ve put myself in.

I laugh, “He does. And they are all incredibly attractive.” Although, I don’t know that any of them could make me feel like he does. Seeing his name light up my phone screen makes me giddy in a way I haven’t been in a long time. It’s that excited ‘new relationship’ feeling. Physical attraction is one thing, but I’ve really gotten to know Grayson over the past several weeks. I really like him. Maybe it’s the uncertainty that makes me so nervous. If he only wants to be friends, I’ll have to be okay with that. I really enjoy talking to him; he’s a great listener. I’d hate to lose the friendship we’ve grown.

“Ugh! I didn’t want to even get involved with him in the first place. The local paper has a field day with that family. Historically, he’s been fully advertised as a player and before you tell me, ‘you can’t believe everything you read,’ I’ve heard it straight from the horse’s mouth. He has his reasons for not getting involved, I guess. It’s the same as most people— trust issues. Which, I can totally relate to. But, everything about The Maxwells is so public. If one of their dogs takes a poop in the wrong place, it makes the front page of the paper. I’m not sure getting in bed with him, pun intended, is the best idea for me. Or for Harp. What happened with Reed cannot happen again. It’s my job to protect her, Sare.”

“You can’t erase your past Poppy,” she says quietly. “Like I already said, Grayson isn’t Reed. He sounds like he’s well on his way to having a better relationship with Harper than Reed ever had. I mean, the man took her fishing. Even your dad doesn’t do that.” I nod, even though she can’t see me, mulling over her words. “You live, you learn, you get better and you move on. From everything you’ve said, it seems like you’re both pretty wary of getting in too deep, too quickly. So, keep your pace. See where his head is when he gets back. If it stays in the friend zone, great. And if it ventures south, like between your legs, even better.”

I laugh. It’s so good to talk to her. It’s been a while. Ending our conversation after we talk about all the other drama in our lives (boys aren’t everything), I flop back onto my bed and contemplate in quiet. My mind drifts back to Grayson. I want more. If he doesn’t, I’ll just learn to turn off my body’s reaction to him.

Sounds easy until I picture him walking into Harp’s party with a pretty blonde on his arm. Jealousy swells inside me. I let out a deep sigh. It’s been so long since I’ve felt this way about a man; I don’t want to turn this off. I want to explore; see where it goes. It’s something I’ll have to focus on later though. I have one week to put together the last details for my daughter’s sixth birthday bash. I’ll throw myself into that this week, and I’ll be too busy to think about certain unattainable male friends. In the meantime, I need to see a man about a horse.

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