Page 85 of Forbidden Boss (Manhattan Billionaires)

But I couldn’t deny the truth.

I was pregnant with Rome Blakely’s child…

And I had no idea what I was going to do about it.

I slept fitfully.Rome texted me to wish me a good night before he went to bed, but that did nothing to ease my mind. Around three o’clock in the morning, when I’d twisted myself in my sheets for the umpteenth time, I finally decided to get up and fix myself a cup of tea in the hope of getting drowsy.

I curled on my couch, ignoring the unpacked boxes around me, and sipped my steaming chamomile tea while I scrolled mindlessly on my phone. When I flicked to a messaging app, I was surprised to see Penny online. I sent her a message:Can you not sleep either?

Three or four seconds later, she’d read the message and was typing a response:I’m in Paris! Something wrong? Want to chat?

A strange feeling went through me. It wasn’t jealousy, exactly. My friend could go to Europe anytime she chose. But it was a very stark reminder that she’d found her Prince Charming and married him. When she’d been unexpectedly pregnant early in her relationship with Marcus, things had worked out just fine.

I felt the chasm between us crack just a little bit wider, because what were the chances of that happening to me? Rome didn’t even want to talk about dating for real, let alone tying our lives together forever through a child.

So yeah, maybe there was a bit of envy that pinched at my heart. But it was mostly despair.

I shimmied up to a seated position and swiped to answer Penny’s call. “Hey.”

“What time is it there?” she asked. “Three-ish? Why are you up? Is everything okay?”

I bit my lip. I could tell her about the pregnancy, of course. But…then what? She was in France, and she hadn’t mentioned the trip to me before, so it must have been a last-minute thing. I didn’t want to ruin her trip with my own worries.

And there was the other fear lurking at the back of my mind: What if we just weren’t that close? What if our friendship didn’t go as deep as I thought it did? What if I filled a friend-shaped hole in her life, but if I got too difficult, she’d drop me?

Being single and pregnant with a messy relationship and maybe no job was difficult. In the dead of night, with the sounds of the city beyond my window deadened by the snow and the night, I didn’t want to take the risk.

“Everything’s fine,” I said. “Just twisting and turning a lot tonight.”

“Something on your mind?”

“Work,” I lied.

She hummed. “How’s that going?”

“Pretty well, all things considered,” I said, which was the truth. I didn’t say that it was all going to change once I told Rome he was going to be a father, though. I leaned my head against the back of the sofa and curled my knees up toward my chest. “What are you doing in France?”

“Marcus surprised me with a shopping trip, which he apparently planned with Emil and Leif as a surprise to the three of us for Christmas,” she said in a warm voice, naming the husbands of our friends Dani and Layla. I imagined her glancing over at him. “We’re having a coffee and a pastry right now. And get this! We ran into Bonnie at the Chanel flagship store yesterday! What are the chances?”

I let out a strangled laugh, but really I was trying to hide the sound of that gulf between us creaking and groaning as it widened. All of my friends had the means to take surprise trips across the Atlantic to go shopping the week before Christmas. They were part of the world that I’d dipped my toes in by virtue of hanging off of Rome’s arm. That’s where they belonged now.

And I was on the outside.

“That’s crazy,” I finally croaked. “What’s Bonnie doing there?”

“Oh, just a getaway with Arlo and his kid. They’re celebrating their new little family. They’re disgustingly in love,” she said fondly. “It’s amazing.”

My heart twisted. “I’m glad,” I lied. In reality, I didn’t feel glad. I felt like an outsider. Someone who was fun to have around in college, who was okay to invite over for a charcuterie board or a hangout but would nevertrulybe part of the inner circle.

I was, and always would be, a placeholder for people to use while they were waiting for someone better.

“We should catch up when I’m back!” Penny exclaimed. “Although, we’ve been talking about extending our stay, so it might not be until the new year.”

“That sounds great.” My voice was dull, and I pretended to yawn. “I’d better try to sleep. Have fun shopping.”

“Will do. Happy holidays!”

“You too,” I mumbled, and I hung up the phone. Tears began to fall before I could stop them, my hand trembling as I forced myself to pick up my mug of tea. I could barely swallow the gulp of chamomile-scented water because of the lump lodged halfway down my throat, so I gave up and put the mug down. My cheeks were wet.

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