Page 26 of Shared

“I think it would be best if I did keep it,” I told them frankly, gesturing to the ring that Zach had found so quickly because I guess I had a weird expression on my face when I came to his house right after John had driven me back home. Zach had cooked lasagna, and I hadn’t had time to stash it without showing up late.

At their aghast expressions, I put up my hands and assured, “I won’t wear it outside the house.”

“Zazie, go to your room,” Ryan finally groaned with pained weariness, pressing his palms over his eyes.

“I don’t live here anymore,” I reminded.

“GO TO YOUR ROOM!” he suddenly barked, pointing down the hallway. I stood up and immediately walked into my old room, which was now their guest room, and sat on the bed like a punished seven-year-old.

Why was I like this? I had to ask myself.

Although I’d been to a psychiatrist (it was court-ordered after the last incident), whose sole purpose seemed to be figuring out why I had so much terrible impulse control around gems and gold but nothing else, it had irked him on a professional level. My shrink had delved, and tried, and worked hard, but eventually gave up and referred me away. My obligations to the court were met, and I just kept the mystery of my compulsions.

My brother was a better shrink, and he thought it had something to do with my childhood. Or what had happened to me when my parents died. Or how they’d died. It wasn’t useful to anyone else because I could remember none of it. I didn’t feel like my childhood was strange or challenging; as far as I knew, it’d been normal. Zach had assured me it was far from normal, that everything was being repressed, and I eventually needed to come to terms with all that reality if I wanted to actually be normal.

Admittedly, I was pretty far from normal! I wasn’t even a sexual creature unless gems were involved. My earliest sex fantasies were that a big penis made out of gems and gold fucked me, and my first lover owned a gems store.

And then there was today. I was definitely thinking that Caspian, despite the fact that he was an obvious villain, looked positively handsome in all the right ways. However, he was also a purveyor of fine goods and was showing me his gem collection.

I still wanted to put my hand down my pants and think about fucking Caspian wearing the ring I’d stolen from him.

I wondered if he realized it was missing already. Hopefully not. I wanted some time between me and the event before he caught on. Last time an attractive gems dealer caught me stealing from him, I ended up with an ass I couldn’t sit comfortably on for days. Before he took my virginity, he’d definitely given me a spanking that was unforgettable.

It had been particularly unforgettable because it was my first and only spanking, I had been an adult when I got it, and it did make me embarrassingly wet. Or maybe was it just Murtagh looking at my naked ass? Could have been either way, but I wasn’t sure if being turned on because I’d been embarrassed was any better.

I listened to a conversation between Ryan and Zach where they discussed how extremely depressing I was to be the family of and how I kept disappointing them over and over again, making the same mistakes, and would definitely die in prison, alone.

I finally walked out of the room and leaned against the wall between the hallway and the kitchen. “You guys want me to go?” I asked, hiking my thumb in the direction of the door.

“I want you to stop stealing, Zazie,” Zach replied through tight lips. He looked so fucking tired, it was pulling at my heartstrings. “You can’t go on like this.”

“Literally,” Ryan added firmly. “You will be stopped. I guarantee it. And after all the rumors you’ve heard about Caspian Dagon, I have no idea what you were thinking by stealing this.” He gestured at the ring that was sitting pretty in the middle of the table. “I don’t know how much it’s worth, but it’s gonna be a big ticket. He’s not going to just chalk it up as ‘lost’.”

“It’s Byzantian,” I admitted apologetically, wincing.

“Like the Empire? The one that doesn’t exist anymore?” Zach clarified, his expression showing how horrified and impressed he was.

“Yeah, like Constantinople?” I winced again because they didn’t look like they were exactly getting goosebumps like I had.

“How much is it valued at?” Ryan asked, and I could tell that he hated asking.

“You don’t want to know,” I assured. But after I got very intense yet exhausted expressions in reply, I found I had to be more exact. “It’s hard to say what market demand is for this particular item, but we’re looking at twenty million, thereabouts…”

Zach made a scream.

I winced yet again. “Yeah, it’s bad. But I barely realized I had done it by the time I was stuffing it into my jacket.”

“Fact as that may be, it will not help your case if you’re caught and this is brought to trial. It is very important that you’re not found with it on your person or your property,” Ryan assured me frankly. “I need you to dispose of that ring in a way that does not tie you to it. No fingerprints, no cameras at a pawnshop, nothing.”

“I wasn’t going to pawn it!” I assured, incredulous.

I could tell that Ryan was trying very hard to be patient with me, and I appreciated that. “What were you going to do with it?”

I put my hands in my pockets. “I’m still deciding. Probably I’m just gonna sleep with it.”

“Sleep. With. It.” Zach’s tone was so thickly judgmental right now, I felt like I could poke it with a fork.

“Yeah, Zach. I sleep with stuff like this.” From his expression, I felt I had to add, “It’s not sexual.” Much.

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