Page 71 of Sanctuary

Gabe shook her head. Lori could ask her for anything in that way, and she’d happily give it. “I’m happy for them, and I like the way Solo is around them. She’s always been immature and kind of shallow. She’s got depth now, and I like that about her. But I’m not sure how I’m supposed to be a positive part of that.”

“I think you’re short-changing yourself and those babies. It sounds like you think that you can’t be part of a family because yours was so bad.”

“That sounds about right,” Gabe said. “And it sounds logical too.”

“You’ve learned through experience what a bad family is, so you know the mistakes you have to avoid making in any family you allow yourself to be part of. Because you had an awful family, your own will be full of love. You’re a wonderful, kind, and generous person, Gabe. You should open yourself up to sharing that, and you could start right here with those three gorgeous babies.”

“God damn it, woman.” Gabe turned her stool around and looked at the triplets with fresh eyes, trying to see them as the person Lori had just described Gabe to be. She made a lot of sense, of course she did, but that didn’t take away the very real fear of repeating the mistakes her parents made. Though she really wanted to be the person Lori seemed to think she was. The more time she spent with Lori, the more she could feel herself wanting to be that person. She wanted to be open and yes, even emotional. Her childhood and twenty years in the Army had beaten those things down, but they weren’t gone. They weren’t irretrievable.

For Lori, and for this friendship, Gabe would pull those characteristics back from the depths of her psyche and embrace them as strongly as she wanted to embrace Lori. And maybe they would overwhelm and dilute her sexual attraction, making a truly platonic friendship possible.

Yeah, and maybe we’ll finally get a Black, female president elected…

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

“Do you think I’m inflexible and lack spontaneity?”

“Is this more of the lawyer’s nonsense surfacing?” Rosie pushed a shot of tequila closer to Lori. “I thought you’d completed this stage?” She narrowed her eyes and leaned in. “Or is this something your new friend has leveled at you? I’ll kick her ass. I don’t care how big she is; I’ll gnaw on her kneecaps.”

Lori laughed at the visual. “It’s neither, and also, I’m not sure when that stage ever finishes. But part of me wishes I could see you have a go at Gabe though, jealous heart.”

Rosie knocked back her first shot from the rack of ten and slammed the glass back on the bar, upside down. “I’m not jealous. That’s an ugly emotion. I’m envious and protective. You’re just starting to come back around after the lawyer, and I wouldn’t want my best friend disappearing again if Gabe breaks your heart.” She poured salt on her hand, licked it, and munched on a fresh lime segment. “Although she told me you were just friends, and she wouldn’t do anything that could mess with her access to Max, so I suppose I really don’t have anything to worry about.” Rosie pushed the glass closer to Lori’s hand. “I can be envious of the amount of time you’re spending together though, can’t I? If I didn’t care, what kind of best friend would I really be?”

“She said we were just friends?”

Rosie arched her eyebrow and gave her the look. “That’s what you got from all that? Now you can see why I’m envious; even when we’re together, you’re more concerned about what Gabe’s thinking.” She tapped the glass in front of Lori. “Drink. Or I’m grabbing the first hot woman who comes through that door and taking her home, leaving you to the rest of these shots and your preoccupation with Sergeant Gabriella Jackson.”

Lori grasped the glass and went through the ritual, wincing when she bit down on the particularly sour lime. “Isn’t it good that you’re the one I want to talk to about her?”

“I suppose that depends on the context,” Rosie said. “How did the babysitting go the other night? Has it made you all broody and hormonal?”

“So what if it has?” Lori took two glasses from the rack. They downed them, and Lori sucked on the same lime piece, foregoing the salt. “If you ever settle down, do you want children?”

Rosie shrugged. “I haven’t really thought about it. It feels like I’m so far from finding my princess that it doesn’t seem fair to tease myself about the life we might lead together.”

“Maybe you’re not that far.” Lori wiggled her eyebrows, the effect of the tequila already releasing her playful side. “Shay would make a pretty princess.”

Rosie clutched her heart and fake-swooned. “Shay is a goddess, and she’s out of my league. And I get the impression that she’s too busy playing the field to sit on the bench. But we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you and your hormones.” She nudged Lori lightly. “Obviously, I don’t need to ask you the same question; you’ve got a whole ranch full of surrogate children. Have you thought about in-vitro or adopting?”

Lori shook her head. “I want children, but I want them with someone. I want to share in the joys and heartaches of raising little humans.” She pulled out her phone, flicked to one of the many, many photographs she’d taken of the triplets on Wednesday, and showed it to Rosie. “Aren’t they the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?”

“Wow.” Rosie pinched the screen to enlarge the picture. “They really are identical. I hope they don’t dress them all the same as they get older. I think that suffocates their potential for individuation.”

Lori grinned. “I do love your psycho-babble.”

“She says, while disparaging it as babble.”

“Lovingly disparaging.”

Rosie lined up another two drinks, and they dispatched them quickly. “I don’t know how you’ve managed to stay in therapy so long when you hold it in such low regard.”

Lori shrugged. She wasn’t sure how she’d managed it either, though she had a feeling. “Desperation,” she said, loud enough that the bartender looked over and winked.

“Ooh, hottie at two o’clock,” Rosie said.

“Where does your inner feminist go when you get drunk?” Lori stacked a little tower with her empty glasses.

“She doesn’t go anywhere. She just makes a little room for my vamp.” Rosie prepared their fourth shots. “Anyway, back to adventures in babysitting. What does the big, bad, super-strong soldier think of helpless babies?”

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