Page 46 of Sanctuary

“What do you mean?” Gabe kept her eyes fixed firmly on Lori and willed her gaze not to drift to Lori’s legs.

“Young people seem so much more fluid with their sexualities these days,” Lori said. “And there are a lot more gay women with long hair than there ever used to be.”

Gabe smiled and nodded. “I used to have long hair.”

Lori tapped Gabe’s leg. “You did not!”

“I really did.” Her hair style seemed like a good place to gently work her way into a deeper conversation.

Lori narrowed her eyes, her expression disbelieving. “I can’t imagine you with long hair. Do you have photographic proof?”

Gabe laughed. “Why don’t you believe me?”

“Someone with your confidence? Feels like you were the kind of kid who knew exactly who they were from a young age and didn’t let anyone hold you back.”

She sighed at the description, but it was exactly the persona Gabe had cultivated to disguise the truth. “I like that you think that, but I have to disappoint you and tell you that I was not that kid. I wasn’t even that adult until a few years after joining the Army.”

“When I told you that I’d talked to my mom and how it always brightened my day, you said, ‘That must be nice.’ Does that have anything to do with the kind of kid you were?”

Gabe took a long swallow of lemonade, hoping it would give her the time to steel herself to open the door Lori was knocking on. “You remember that too?”

“Word for word.” Lori pressed her lips together and looked rueful. “It can be as much of a curse as a blessing. I really can’t forget anything…even the unpleasant things. And I can recall every detail: the phrasing, the words, the time, the place. All of it.”

She seemed to shake it off as she tapped the tabletop with her fingernail, and Gabe thought about dust storms in Syria instead of imagining Lori’s nails raking across her back.

“But I won’t be put off a second time,” Lori said. “Are you going to quid pro quo me on my emotional info dump last Saturday? Or are you keeping your family trauma to yourself?”

“You’re assuming trauma?” Gabe pointed to the plates of goodies. “Is that why you always break out the sugary treats? Comfort food for world-weary guests?”

“As a matter of fact, those brownies are made with protein powder and almond butter, so they’re quite good for you.” Lori waved her hand in Gabe’s general area. “I figured that I should find some recipes to suit your eating plan given everything that you’re doing for me.”

Gabe grinned. “That’s sweet of you, thanks. Because I couldn’t keep eating your real treats and keep these.” She flexed her arms and caught the flash of appreciation in Lori’s gaze. Maybe they could have one of those safe flirty friendships where both parties knew it would go nowhere. That might be easier and more fun than keeping her own appreciation of Lori’s charms quiet.

“So, for the third time,” Lori said, with a knowing look, “I’ve shared some of my suffering, and the laws of friendship dictate reciprocation in order to maintain a relationship that’s balanced and equal.”

Gabe frowned. “Am I going to need a copy of those laws to make sure I don’t fail in my duties as your friend?”

Lori raised both her eyebrows, indicating an unwillingness to respond without something from Gabe.

She held up her hands. “Okay, I’ll try sharing. You should know that talking about my past isn’t something that comes naturally. Shay had to use a crowbar and a case of Jack D.” Gabe took a big bite from a brownie. “I guess this will have to do.”

Lori placed her hand on Gabe’s forearm. “If talking about your family is too much, maybe you can tell me something else. Like why you joined the Army. I don’t want to push if it’s too painful.”

“Thank you, But you’re right; the trust has to go both ways.” Gabe looked at Lori’s small hand resting on the center of her Metatron cube tattoo. Balance, harmony, and connection. Maybe she’d find all those things in this friendship. “And why I joined the Army is kind of caught up with my family shit.”

Lori squeezed Gabe’s arm, then she released her and sat back in her chair. “If you’re sure.”

Gabe remembered saying those same words to Lori when she was about to share part of her story. She had to show Lori the same trust that Lori had given her. But God damn, she wished she had three fingers of Jack in a glass instead of homemade lemonade.

“I guess your family life wasn’t a Disney movie then.”

Gabe looked up following Lori’s prompt. She must’ve drifted off into her not-so-happy place. “I don’t know about that. Don’t all Disney movies begin with a family tragedy? Although my parents didn’t die; I think they just wished that I would.”

“Oh, Gabe, is that really true?”

Gabe shrugged. “They certainly made me feel like that’s what they wanted. You said that I was probably the kid who was confident and didn’t let anyone stop me. I was the complete opposite. I figured out that I liked girls when I was about eight, but I didn’t know anything about being gay. For a while I thought that I should be a boy. As I got older, I wanted to be like all the heroes in the TV shows. When I used to play with my friends, I’d always get the role of the good guy, and I always took my shirt off. I never did need a bra, even back then.” She motioned to her chest and flexed it, making her pec muscles bounce.

Lori giggled. “That’s just like the Rock does it.”

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