Page 66 of Her Shifter Pack
I grabbed a Gatorade from the fridge and went to my usual spot on the couch. I wasn’t entirely sure how this conversation was going to go, but my gut twisted up into knots just thinking about it.
Ollie jumped on the end of the sofa, and Lexie perched in the middle, sitting closer to my brother as if seeking his comfort.
Could she really be pregnant already? Was that even possible?
And had Ollie truly told her that he wanted kids as soon as she could pop one out? I knew he wanted a mate and a family, but that would be one hell of a change from our current lifestyle.
“So,” Lexie began. “How are you feeling about all this, Markus?”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to have to be more specific than that.”
She nodded her head and swallowed awkwardly, her lips pulling a little to the side. “About... me. Us. The whole... perfect pair, Fated mate, triad bond.”
“Well, aren’t you getting up with all the lingo?” I said, shifting to face her properly. “You’ve only known us a few days, and it’s like you’ve talked wolf all your life.”
Her eyes shimmered a little in a vulnerable way before she gulped and said, “Why does that sound like a bad thing when you say it like that?”
Probably because I hadn’t meant it as a compliment.
Lexie continued, “I didn’t want to believe anything Ollie or you said in the beginning. But seeing your reactions to me... our attraction and chemistry... what your mom and Nancy said and how they responded... How could I not believe in you?”
I moved so that I was leaning forward, my elbows resting on my knees. “Believe in me? You didn’t believe me when I told you I didn’t fuck Nancy. You didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t know how I felt about having a mate.”
“I did believe that last part!” Lexie declared. “I know you’re not sure about me and our future. That’s why it was so easy to believe Nancy when she came over and lied about you. And I know she did lie. I know you didn’t go over to have sex with her, even though you did go over there. Which still confuses me.”
I growled and ran a hand through my hair. Part of the anger I was feeling wasn’t directed at Lexie. I knew that. I was angry at myself for being so stupid.
It seemed like I was blaming Lexie one hundred percent, but really, I was angry at me. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have gone over. It was dumb. I didn’t want her. Yet, part of me wanted to know what that felt like.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, still sitting on the edge of the sofa, upright and stiff.
I clenched my jaw tight, working through my own feelings of disappointment around what happened. “I mean... I’ve never felt content. Comfortable. I’ve always been on the lookout for the next woman. But after you and I were together, I didn’t even think about another woman. And when Nancy texted, I wanted to test what my wolf would do. He’s never liked her, not really. So I sat outside her place, laughing at myself. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t even open the door. My whole body locked down. And I... I couldn’t believe it. I realized I’d finally found the one. My mate. When I hadn’t even been looking, I found you. But then Nancy ran outside before I could drive away, and I thought I owed her a face-to-face explanation about the fact that I was now off the market.”
Lexie’s eyes changed, her gaze softening, even asher smile sharpened.
Ollie moved around so that he could look at me, and I could see the surprise in his features.
I sighed. “I’ve never wanted a wife and kids... but I never wanted my own business, and that’s turned out great. I never thought we’d buy a house... and we did. So many things in my life that I never planned—or that I thought I didn’t want—have been awesome. I wanted to believe this might be the same. But I’m not sure I’m the right one.”
“It can be awesome,” Lexie whispered.
I shook my head. “No, I’m not sure it can. What if I am what everyone says? A man who can never be satisfied with one partner.”
Lexie sniffed and shook herself, then slid a little closer. “Can I ask you a question? Were you happy before? You know... with all the different women. Moving from one to another. Always looking.”
I glanced away, ashamed at my answer. “No. There were days I could have walked into traffic and ended it all.”
Ollie’s swift intake of breath had me flinching away, but when I looked up at him, his expression was sad and reflective rather than angry.
I’d never told my brother about the true nature of the depression I fought on an almost daily basis. The alcohol, women and exercise chased the darkness away, but not for long.
Lexie’s hand cupped my face and gently pulled me around until I was facing her again.
She lifted her other hand so that she was soon holding me close. “Then don’t you think it’s possible that you weren’t meant to play the role you fell into? That maybe you’ve been looking for me, just as Ollie was? Just as I’ve been looking for you both?”
I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat choking me. “You want a good guy, and I’m not that guy.”
She came closer, until she was a hair’s breadth away, then she kissed me gently.
