Page 12 of Outlaw

I need to get that out of my head. Clearly, it’s not happening and the mere thought of it only serves to drive me insane.

“Where did you guys grow up?” I’m learning more and more about myself by the second. Apparently, I talk to calm my nerves.

“I grew up in Oklahoma, but I followed my family out here after they had Carmen. They lived just south of the cabin I have today.”

That doesn’t add much to our conversation. While I’m creating a love story internally, I’m sure he’s calculating the days left to cash his check.

Why can’t I get that through my head. Am I that desperate for affection?

He clears his throat. “So, what did you want… from life. Before all this happened?”

Oh. My heart swells… like an idiot. It’s one question. But still, it’s a question!

“You’re going to laugh, but… I always thought I’d be a baker. I used to make these fancy cakes and pies for my mom and my sister.”

“So, you wanted to own a bakery?”

“Not really. I don’t want the pressure of owning it myself. I just wanted to blend in and bake. Just create things, ya know? What about you? Is the bounty thing your dream?”

He nods and I think maybe we’re having a real conversation. “Sort of. I wanted to be a cop, but I grew up poor, so I fell into working right after high school. Factories for the most part, then some landscape work. The MC was the best thing that happened to me, and the bounty hunting came shortly after. It’s been a good decision. I don’t have rules to live by for the most part and now that there’s an influx of assholes in town, it’s been nice to stay in one place and help people.”

I pretend he didn’t mean to call me an asshole. That comment was directed at all the other criminals.

“Yeah, I could see that. I miss being in one place, a lot. I miss my mom and nephew, too. It’s been months since I’ve seen them.”

“Did you ever want a family of your own?” He’s speaking as though those choices are over. As though my life is over. He’s not wrong, but his question brings a bit of sadness. When I robbed the banks, I didn’t think about the ripple effect all this would cause. I was only thinking about how much I loved my sister and my nephew. I was only thinking about how much they needed me.

I blow out a breath. “Yeah, I did. I always thought someday I’d have that big family like the ones on TV. Like, I remember watching episodes of this one show, and the mom and dad were happy and in love. The dad would say these snarky little comments and the mom would tell everyone, ‘Oh, don’t pay attention to him.’ It was cute, the way they bantered. And of course, they had five kids and all of them had their own issues, but they all worked together to make things right again. I wanted that. I’m sad that I can’t have it.”

“You never know.” He glances toward me. “They could take it easy on you.”

I laugh. “I stole two million dollars. I’m going to prison. I Googled it. I’m looking at thirty years. I’d be fifty by the time I got out. Fifty. I think that’s a little late to be having five kids.”

He flicks on the blinker and the truck bumps over the edge of the parking lot to the fire station. There’s not a hospital here in Rugged Mountain, but they have an urgent care that’s run out of the fire station.

“What about you? Do you want a family?”

He laughs. “Well, I’m forty-three, so apparently I have seven more years to start my life before my chance of a happily-ever-after is completely gone.”

Fuck. I knew I’d say something wrong.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m a woman and my eggs will be dried up before too long. I can’t have five babies at fifty, biologically. Well, I probably could these days, but you know what I mean.”

He laughs under his breath. “I know what you mean, little girl. Come on. Let’s go.”

I hop down out of the truck and glance toward him. As I do, I think I see a smile. A genuine, real, half smile. I ignore the butterflies that shuffle in my stomach and threaten the fairytales that rattle in my head. This isn’t one of Grandma’s stories. This was just a friendly conversation. Nothing more.

Chapter Six

Outlaw

As expected, Carmen gives us shit the whole way home.

“So, this is kind of gross. I wasn’t expecting you two to like… hook up so fast. I love it.”

“What?” I groan. She’s easily excitable, so if I stay calm, she’ll eventually meet my energy.

She leans forward and glares toward Faith. “If he ever gives you trouble, come to me. I’ll kick his butt back in shape.”

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