Page 29 of The Killer You Know

The trail widens a bit and I pick up my pace. The soft rustling of leaves and the distant call of a blue jay echoes through the trees. The occasional chatter of squirrels makes me slow down a notch as I watch them dart from one tree to another with their bushy tails moving in a blur of motion.

Above me a hawk circles lazily in the sky, its sharp eyes scanning the ground below for its next meal.

If only I can soar that high.

As much as I’d love a bird’s-eye view of this place, I’d love to let the wind pick me up and carry me off to wherever. I doubt I’ll ever be as free as a bird.

My life is a lot of things, but carefree isn’t one of them.

I slow my pace, trying to catch my breath, and my thoughts drift back to Stephen. All that bitterness swells up inside me as familiar as an unwelcome guest.

How could he toss away what we had for someone barely out of college?

He traded a woman for a girl. He’s practically a predator at this point.

I’ll admit, the wound is still fresh no matter the fact that a solid year has passed. A visit to my therapist is about as useful as lighting my money on fire. Come to think of it, I might have more fun with the fire.

Stephen is nothing but a constant reminder of my flawed judgment when it comes to men. I’ve had more boyfriends than I care to count, and each one of them was a walking, talking, red flag.

How am I such an idiot when it comes to all things heart-shaped?

Obviously, my picker is broken. And I can trace all of my boy-based malfeasances right back to high school—the origin of all my miseries. That’s where I started the pattern of falling for the wrong guys. No sooner did I crest puberty than I suddenly had a hankering for bad boys. And Aspen Heights had an entire litany of bad boys to choose from. My faves were Mitch, Derek, and Jackie.

A tiny laugh rumbles through me as each name conjures a whirlwind of memories, along with a mixture of thrills and the inevitable disappointment that followed.

Mitch, with his rebellious streak and that smirk that promised adventure but ultimately led to chaos. He was the one who taught me that boys are after one thing and it’s not holding hands in the park while eating ice cream. We were short and not-so-sweet, and I learned a hard lesson from the crash that followed. I wouldn’t say I was in love with him, but the pain was real once he moved on, after he announced he felt it was time.

Then there was Derek. A chill rides through me. I never should have looked in his direction, let alone made a move.

Jackie comes to mind. Oh, good grief.

I laugh out loud as I shake my head at the memory.

Jackie showed me the highs of attention and the lows of neglect, leaving me always wanting more but never fully satisfied. He’s a man’s man in a nutshell. I can’t believe I’ll be seeing him in just a few days. That is, if he shows. But according to Alicia, his name is on the roster. I should know, I asked.

I’m going to give him the biggest hug. Boy, was he hot.

What are the odds of him being single? Maybe we could pick up where we left off? How I’d love to parade Jackie Stone in front of Stephen and that walking tramp stamp he’s leashed himself to. That would teach him.

Derek comes back to mind and my mood darkens.

It was all based on a dare, a challenge thrown down by Robin who was the ringleader of our ridiculous clique. With Derek, the entire ordeal felt like a performance, because it was.

He had a girlfriend, for Pete’s sake. A sweet thing if I remember correctly. But then, Derek would bed a squirrel if it shook its tail his way. The guy gave even bad boys a bad look. Or more to the point, he was the leader of the bad boy pack.

Robin’s wickedness was undeniable. But she had the type of personality that made you want to be near her. Everyone wished she was their best friend, and for those four years, she was mine. How I wish she wasn’t. As much as I hate to speak ill of the dead, that girl was trouble.

She’s the reason I ditched those friendships as soon as graduation hit. I could only take so much of her toxicity. And I guess whoever thrust a dagger into her heart felt the exact same way. Leopards don’t change their spots. I read enough of her catty blog to know that.

One million fans.

More like one million suckers.

Some people wish they could relive their high school glory days all over again. And with Robin’s gossip gab sessions, it made you feel as if you were right back in homeroom.

I force all thoughts of the reunion, of the deceased, and the kidnapped out of my mind. Instead, I take in another lungful of fresh Colorado summer air. But no matter how hard I try to relax, there’s something gnawing at me, something grave and dark.

My eyes flit to either side of the woods as I begin to slow down. For whatever reason, these past few weeks I’ve had the eerie feeling that someone is watching me.

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