Page 51 of No One Like You

Tasha remembered Maria’s words from earlier. To accept. To be patient. To trust. “Of course, Megan. Take whatever time you need. I trust you.”

CHAPTER 31

HEAVEN AND HELL

Tasha’s confession… profession… of love had thrown Megan for a loop. Thankfully, at eight, Sophia was generally self-sufficient and if she did need anything that afternoon, then Tasha stepped in seamlessly. Tasha. Tasha loves me. Not as friends, or maybe as friends but also more. And my reaction was to ask her to let me think about it? What the hell, Megan. It’s a wonder that she’s still here. Hell, it’s her apartment, it’s a wonder that I’m still here!

Hours later, even after a long walk, Megan’s mind was still in chaos. One thing was becoming clear to her. She needed to say something to Tasha. Megan felt that this was about to be the hardest conversation of her life. Sophia was reading on the couch, absentmindedly stroking a sleeping Nocturne. Tasha was puttering around the kitchen as Megan walked up to her. “Can we talk?”

“Are you ready now?” Megan couldn’t help but notice a slightly bitter undertone in Tasha’s voice, yet mixed with hope.

“No, but yes. Maybe in the bedroom?”

“Fine.”

They both sat down on the bed. Megan took a deep breath, which did little to calm her racing nerves. “Thank you, Tasha, for telling me how you feel. I know that must have been difficult, and you are incredibly brave. I also feel like I hurt you deeply. I’m sorry. I’m a mess right now, and yet you still love me. I love you, too, Tasha. With all of my heart.”

She watched the fear drain away from Tasha’s face, replaced by joy. Megan continued before Tasha could respond, “And I’m terrified. I’m terrified that this could be a rebound, and I’ll end up hurting you. I’m terrified about the possibility of loving another woman. Sophia loves you, and I’m terrified that I’m going to fuck this up and hurt both of you.”

Tasha silently rose up and then sat down again, right next to Megan, and took her in her arms. Megan rested her head on Tasha’s collarbone and started to cry. “I love you, Tasha. It feels overwhelming, but I don’t know how to love you… as a woman, and I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me, Megan. We’ll figure this out, okay?”

Megan nodded, but she wasn’t okay. She was definitely a mess. She felt like a coward for taking the safe choices for most of her life. She felt brave for telling Tasha that she loved her. She hadn’t lied to Tasha when she said that she was terrified, because she was. Megan was in wholly uncharted territory, and what she wanted to do most in this moment was run. She held onto Tasha with both arms, hoping that this feeling would pass and that she wouldn’t want to run anymore.

Megan’s panic slowly subsided, as did her tears. Even so, she could feel a vast well of anxiety inside of her.

I’m going to hurt her. I just know it, and I can’t bear to think about it. I need to talk to someone, and she’s the only person that I trust. She is also the one person that I can’t talk to about this. I love her so much it hurts.

Megan went to bed shortly after Sophia. She was emotionally wiped out. Before going to bed, she said, “Tasha, please sleep in the bed tonight. It’s better when you’re there.”

CHAPTER 32

A NEW ATTITUDE

Tasha woke up on Monday feeling amazing. Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster, but she felt good about where she and Megan were. Yes, Megan was having some challenges, but they loved each other and would figure it out together. As the trio got ready for Monday, Tasha relished every touch, every smile. She practically skipped as she took Sophia to school. Not even Kevin could break her spirit today. Feeling mischievous and remembering her promise to Maria, Tasha brought her red dress to work, planning to surprise Megan with it at the holiday party on Friday.

Some managers see someone feeling cheerful and then try to spread that feeling to infect the whole team, creating a warm and open work environment. Kevin believed that he was one of those managers, but he wasn’t. His reward for Tasha being in a good mood was to pile a ton of work into her inbox. She plugged in some disco and Motown and just grooved through it.

Tasha divided her work into two different categories. There was work for clients, which was occasionally interesting and was at least productive. Then there were projects for Kevin, which were basically a waste of time. She knew this because Javier, whom she shared a cubicle wall with, admitted that he had been letting an AI program do his reports since spring, and Kevin hadn’t noticed. He’d actually been praised for the quality of his reports. So now Tasha let an AI do much of the work for Kevin, although she always checked to make sure it didn’t do anything too crazy.

At lunch, Tasha checked her personal email and saw a message from Lauren. Lauren was very pleased at the increased web traffic from Tasha’s changes to the website. She also told Tasha to keep an eye on her personal emails as more freelance work was coming her way. Tasha responded with a quick email to thank her.

This isn’t a bad side gig. Maybe I can make enough doing websites for women-owned adult boutiques that I can afford insurance and rent and can quit this job. Probably not, but I can dream.

During the afternoon, she received four emails from four different businesses asking for her assistance with website redesigns. Interestingly, none of the four were adult boutiques and all wanted her help with apps as well. She was done with her work, but Kevin didn’t know that, so she spent the time discussing wants and needs for these potential clients, as well as timeframes. She was going to be busy, but that was okay. Eventually one of her clients sent in a request, so she went back to her actual job.

She always made sure to keep an eye out, though. Kevin liked to take a stroll around the office every day. He called it “taking a break from meetings.” No one was ever sure why he had so many meetings or what was discussed. The speculation about Kevin’s meetings was probably the biggest topic of conversation for Tasha and her co-workers. Sometimes his strolls interrupted their work, which was annoying. Other times, he interrupted whatever they were doing to make it look like they were working. Tasha wasn’t sure which was worse.

Tasha finished her work for the client a little after five and then whiled away the last few minutes looking at the furbabies channel on Slack. Her bus ride home wasn’t that long, but it seemed to drag on forever. She practically bounced through the door. Megan was finishing dinner and Sophia was feeding Nocturne. After dinner, she and Megan did some yoga. Tonight, Sophia even joined them.

Relaxed and even-keeled after yoga, Tasha reflected on her day and, as she did, cracks started to emerge in her new attitude. Little things that she had ignored suddenly surfaced in her mind. How Megan’s laughter had sounded a bit forced. How Tasha had touched Megan, but she couldn’t remember Megan touching her. Was something wrong? She knew that Megan was trying to adjust to their newly expressed feelings, but was she having cold feet?

Now Tasha was starting to worry, but she didn’t know how to express that. Especially to Megan.

CHAPTER 33

UNDER PRESSURE

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