Page 90 of Singled Out

My smile grew. It was a bittersweet smile because my heart still felt like it was cracked open, but girlfriends were what got us through the hard times. “You’re the best,” I said. “I’m so tired and wrung out. I need to sleep.”

“Are you going to call in to work tomorrow?”

I considered it. There was no way I’d feel even a spark of energy by my seven a.m. shift. I shook my head. “I’m going in. It’s going to suck, but I’m not giving this the power to take me out. Not even for a day.”

Dakota hugged me again. “I love you. You’re going to be okay. I promise.”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Go to sleep, pretty girl. But wake me up if you need to talk more.”

I nodded, my lids heavy, my soul weary. My throat filled with sadness again.

I wasn’t sure how, but I’d find a way to be okay.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Max

“Max.”

I jolted from a heavy, agitated sleep at the sound of my sister’s voice and tried to figure out when and where the fuck I was.

In my house.

With Danny asleep beside me. On the sectional.

“What time is it?” I asked quietly. My eyes burned with grittiness and deep fatigue.

“Time for you to pull your head out,” Dakota said from my kitchen.

Scowling, I raised my arm to check my watch, being careful not to disturb my son. “Quarter after nine?”

A few more seconds passed while I racked my brain to recall what day it was. Sunday night. Dark outside.

I closed my eyes when I remembered my shit show of a day.

After Harper left, I’d sat on that dock for hours, trying not to think. I’d been reluctant to go inside to an empty house.

Levi had brought Danny home early this morning as we’d agreed. He’d taken one look at me, concluded the single dads had tied one on, shaken his head, and left. I hadn’t corrected him. Because at least that would be a valid excuse for looking like shit.

Sleep-deprived and weighed down by a heavy sadness I couldn’t kick, I’d switched into get-through-the-day mode for both Danny and myself.

We hadn’t left the house, and I hadn’t showered. We’d admittedly eaten like crap, but we’d eaten. For most of the day, football had been on the TV, toys had been strewn everywhere, and Danny was no worse for the wear. It would’ve been a chill day at home, just father and son and the NFL, except I was a fucking mess in my head.

I felt like shit for hurting Harper. She had every right to be pissed at me, but I suspected she was beating herself up too. I hated that even more.

And fuck if I didn’t miss her, which didn’t even make sense. It was Sunday. We’d never spent daytime hours together, Sunday or otherwise, so the only time it made sense for me to miss her was in the dark of night. Check. I’d missed her so much last night I’d avoided my bedroom and dozed on the sectional.

Now I was over an hour late getting Danny to his crib. My sister was clanking around in the disaster that was my kitchen. And I felt like hell. We’re talking bottle-of-tequila hell, but I’d only consumed two beers over the course of the day.

I summoned my last ounce of give-a-fuck and eased off the sectional. I could see from here my sister was on a mission in the kitchen, so I elected to get Danny to bed before I faced her.

She kept her mouth shut when she saw me with my son in my arms, heading toward his bedroom.

Danny wore a diaper and a Dragonfly Lake football jersey, which was as dressed as I’d gotten him today. Guys’ day, I’d told him. He’d giggled and clapped his hands when I pulled out his favorite shirt.

He opened his eyes when I laid him in his crib, so I changed his diaper and put some clean pajamas on him. He was nearly back asleep by the time I snapped his pj’s up. I leaned over and kissed him.

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