Page 29 of His Dark Pull

I can’t tell him the truth, not yet. Not about the note I’d seen in Alexander’s pocket, not about Kovacs, not about my late-night research and the growing suspicion that Alexander is indeed entangled with the Veles Network.

“I’ve just been so busy with work,”I lie, hoping he’ll believe me. “I haven’t had a chance to catch up on the news.”

He seems to accept my explanation.

“I’m so glad you came to see me today,”he says, squeezing my hand.

I feel a lump forming in my throat, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

“So, I need to ask you something,”he says before I can speak.

“What is it?”I ask, fidgeting with the edge of my blouse.

He reaches across the picnic blanket, his hand hovering over mine for a moment before taking it in his. “I want us to be exclusive,”he says. “I know it’s soon, but I can’t imagine being with anyone else but you.”

His eyes, usually warm and open, now hold a flicker of something else, a possessiveness I haven’t seen before.

“Tyler, I—”I begin, my voice trembling, the words catching in my throat.

“I know, I know,”he interrupts, his hand retreating from mine, a look of disappointment clouding his eyes. “You’re not ready yet. I understand.”

But the look in his eyes tells me that he doesn’t understand, not at all. He looks hurt and confused, and my heart shatters into a million pieces.

“It’snot that simple,”I try to explain, the words feeling inadequate. “I have a lot going on right now.”

“Like what?”he asks, his voice taking on a defensive edge.

I look away, unable to meet his gaze. “I just— I can’t talk about it right now,”I mumble, feeling like a coward.

He stands up abruptly. “Fine,”he says, his voice cold and distant. “But I need to know that this is going somewhere, Ava. I can’t keep going on like this.”

And as I watch him walk away, the remnants of the picnic scattered around us like fallen leaves, I know that our time together has come to an end. My chest aches with a chill that spreads through my limbs, “Tyler, wait,”I say.

He stops and turns to face me. “What is it, Ava?”he asks, his voice cold and distant.

I take a deep breath, and the words I’d been rehearsing in my head suddenly feel inadequate. “You’re right. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?”he asks, his brow furrowing.

“This,”I gesture vaguely between us, encompassing the remnants of our picnic, the park, the city, everything that represents our shared life. “Us.”

His eyes widen, and a flicker of pain crosses his features. “What are you talking about?”he asks, his voice strained. “I don’t want to break up with you.”

“I’m not— I’m not in love with you, Tyler.”The words taste like ash in my mouth.

The hurt in his eyes hardened, the pupils contracting as a flicker of red sparked in their depths. “Is this because of him?”he says. “Because of Alexander?”

I close my eyes; they are moist with tears. “It’s not that simple,”I whisper, knowing that no explanation will ever be enough.

He lets out a bitter laugh, the sound devoid of humor. “It was always him, wasn’t it?”he says, his voice bitter.

“That’s not fair,”I protest, my voice cracking. “You are good enough, Tyler. You’re more than enough. It’s me. I’m the one who’s not good enough.”

I’m the one with a dark soul.

He stares at me for a long moment, his anger slowly dissipating, replaced by something else. “I don’t understand,”he says, “we’re good together.”

“Idon’t understand either,”I confess, my tears falling freely now. “I just— I know that I can’t give you what you deserve. You deserve someone who loves you without reservation, without the shadows of the past hanging over them.”

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