Page 50 of Aftershock

“I love you too, Mom.”

She pulled me close and engulfed me in a warm hug. I squeezed her back. As if my ears had been switched off mute, the sounds from nearby came to life. The constant rustling of the leaves filled my ears, along with her steady breathing. I smiled to myself as I gripped the back of my mom's blouse. Sniffing, she wiped the tears from her face and released me. She took a deep breath and held out her hand. Opening her fingers, she revealed the note that had been clutched between them.

“This is yours. I haven't read it,” she announced. As I reached for the note in her hands, I stopped short of the way, hesitating slightly. My mom then continued, “I don't know if this will help you or hurt you, but you have the right to decide if you want to read it.”

I needed to know what it said. I just didn't know if I could handle it. For once in my life, I stopped thinking and let my body take control. Propelling my arm forward before I even knew what I was doing, I snatched the note from my mom's hand. My mom put her hand gently on my shoulder and stood up from the now, ever presently uncomfortable concrete stairs.

“Thank you.”

Looking down at me with a gleam of light still in her eyes, she said, “I'll give you some space. I’ll be inside when you're ready.”

With that, she pivoted in the direction of the main entrance and opened the doors to head inside the church.

Somebody To Lean On

I sat there, staring at the small piece of paper while rolling it between my fingers. Everything my mom told me about the notes my father had written practically screamed, “Don’t read me!” yet here I was about to read it anyway. To be fair, I was never one to follow the rules anyway. Pursing my lips, I unfolded the crumpled note slowly, with my head tilted towards the sky.

I am strong enough to handle this, right?

Just as I was about to read the note, a loud screeching of tires on asphalt pierced through my ears, causing me to flinch at the uncomfortable sound. Unintentionally, I gripped the paper, making a fist with my hand. Following the noise that could only be described as nails on a chalkboard, another sound quickly followed. A voice. But not just any voice. A voice I had come to know very well within the last twenty-four hours.

“Autumn!” Lexi yelled. Her cries stole my attention from the disgruntled message I held in my hands. I snapped my neck up and saw Lexi lunging out of a black SUV, still screaming my name. “Autumn, what the fuck?” Lexi angrily raced over to me.

“Lexi, what are you doing here?” I stood up from the stairs abruptly.

“You just took off at the airport; I was worried.” She stared at me with a look of concern on her face.

“Wait, how'd you even find me?” I questioned.

“You told me the name of the church you were going to on the plane,” she explained swiftly before dealing out more questions. “Are you okay? Why did you just leave like that earlier?”

Glancing down at my feet, I took a seat once again on the stairs in front of the church. No one else showed up to the funeral. Just my mom,” I revealed.

Not processing my words fully, she clarified, “None of his other family members came?”

“No.”

“His friends?”

“No.”

“Co-workers?”

“No, Lexi. No one means no one,” I breathed a sigh.

“What time does the funeral start? Is there still time? Did you call them?”

“Lexi, no one’s coming!” I sternly replied, increasing my volume before lowering my voice and repeating, “No one is coming.”

She paused as she let the words sink in. “Well, you showed up, and you are definitely not a nobody,” she consoled.

“I guess.”

“No, I’m serious. You were so scared to come here, but you did it. You made it. That has to count for something.”

Maybe she’s right.

She sat down next to me, and we watched the line of cars as they drove by in front of us. The large black SUV that Lexi had shown up in was parked alongside the curb with Brian and Andrew standing right outside its doors as they tried to give us some semblance of privacy by standing a few feet away.

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