Page 20 of Aftershock

“I never trust Google anyway.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Don’t care. It’s my turn. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done?”

“I’m still asking you a question after this,” I muttered. She shrugged. I let out a sigh while I rubbed my face to hide the embarrassment that crept its way onto my cheeks. “One time when I was younger, I tried to do a backflip and landed on my face.”

“Ooo ouch,” she cringed.

“Yeah, safe to say, I’ll never try to do that again.”

“Good,” she laughed. “But on a totally unrelated note, can you try to do a front flip in reverse?”

“Oh, you just think you’re so funny, don’t you?” I glared at her. If she wanted to bring up the embarrassing questions, then I could too. “What would your stripper name be?”

She raised an eyebrow at this. “Oh, we are getting serious now, aren’t we?” I smirked and nodded back at her. “Okay, well, it wouldn’t be anything corny like cherry or diamond.” She pondered for a few seconds before landing on, “Harley, because it's close to Harlow and reminds me of Harley Quinn.”

“Wow, you put a lot of thought into that. Is this your way of telling me you want to become a stripper?”

“Yeah, right. You wish,” She laughed. “What’s your guilty pleasure?”

“Honestly, it’s probably music.”

“Boring.”

“Dude, you just roasted your own career,” I laughed. “You make music, remember?”

“Oh,” she paused. “Whatever. I’m counting that as your question, so it’s my turn again.”

I immediately stopped laughing and began yelling in a high-pitched voice. “What? That’s not fair!”

“What type of music do you like?” She asked, ignoring my reaction.

“Only Lexi Harlow, of course.”

She hit herself on the forehead with her palm. “Duh, of course,” she clicked her tongue. “I don’t even know why I bothered to ask because that’s the only acceptable answer.”

“Obviously,” I responded while sticking my neck out. “What's your favorite song that you've written?”

“Ummm,” she said while thinking for a few seconds. Lexi had four albums, not including her EP’s. First, there was Half A Heart. Most of the songs on this album were about love and heartache. Then there was Resilient, which featured music about strength and confidence. Her next album, Alive Again, was deemed a recovery anthem, which she wrote after her suicide attempt. Most recently, her newest album, Papercuts, showcased the anger and resentment that she built up inside after years of criticism. “I think my favorite would be Insanity,” she answered.

That was one of the most vulnerable songs she had ever released, and it was the number-one single on Alive Again. She even admitted in an interview that Insanity was the first song she wrote again after trying to take her own life.

“Mine too, actually.” I could almost hear the words to the song play aloud in my head.

How will I escape this insanity?

All people care about is vanity.

Looking at me like a defective Barbie.

I don’t feel alive, not hardly.

Screaming out profanities,

How will I escape this insanity

“That song was meant to be an outlet for me, but I’m glad it helped so many other people.”

I couldn’t imagine how many emotions she had to go through while writing that song, and to top it all off, every word was so deeply personal to her. It was almost like she purposely leaked her diary online to a million strangers. I barely liked to talk about what I did over the weekend, let alone talk about my mental health journey. How did she do it?

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