Page 68 of Clan and Crave

Conyod, Erybet, and Sletran regarded him insurprise. “It was him haunting the stables? You knew? He’d havewalked miles to reach the ranch,” Conyod spluttered.

“I discovered who it was during his lastnighttime visit a few weeks ago. I took him home to his parents,who had no idea he was coming to visit Yemasel in the middle of thenight when he couldn’t sleep.” Vel chuckled, but it was a sadsound. His gaze met Conyod’s. “Those kestarsh…they’ve always beenthe haven of grieving boys who feel they have no one else to relyon.”

“I can understand why Flist would do so, butI’d asked to sleep in the stable before Hoslek disappeared,” Conyodtold him. “Grief wasn’t required for me to want to be close tothem.”

“I wasn’t referring to the desire of a childto sleep somewhere novel. Remember, there was a ghost boy severalyears ago, before Flist was born. Except you spent as much timestanding by the corral staring at Mount Evar as you did in thestable.”

“Me? I never left the house at night. Youkept me from doing so because Mother would have had a fit. All ofyou would have.”

“If we’d known. I had my suspicions when theranch hands started talking about a ghost boy wandering the place,so I stayed up several nights to stand guard. There was finally anight, a couple hours before dawn, when I witnessed you leave yourroom, shut off the home’s alarm system, and walk outside. I calledyour name and asked what you were doing. You looked right throughme.”

“What?”

Vel uttered the sad chuckle again. “You weresleepwalking. I know you remember waking during a few of thoseepisodes.”

“I do, when I was in my teens. There wereother times?”

“Many, after we lost Hoslek. I had no cluehow to cope, so I followed you. I watched you stare at themountains. Sometimes you’d call for Hoslek to come back. It tore myheart to pieces to hear you do so. Afterward, you’d usually go tothe stable, pet the kestarsh, then return to bed.”

“Those sightings went on for years.” Conyodgaped at him. “You never said a word.”

“Again, I had no idea how to cope. You weresuffering. Barely eating. I worried if I told you, it would makeyou worse. I didn’t dare tell my clanmates what was happening,especially Lafec. They would have gone crazy.”

“You knew who it was all along.”

“I told myself if I watched over you when youwandered and kept you safe, it was okay. I was probably wrong tolet you go on that way but…this family was on edge. I was desperateto keep us from falling completely apart, my son. My only survivingson. If it was a disservice to you, I’m sorry.”

Conyod stared at him. He saw Vel’s undyinggrief, his constant desperation to keep the sole child left to himsafe from harm. He realized no amount of therapy or counselingwould transform Vel’s behavior.

It’ll probably never change Mother either.Neither recognizes their actions as harmful through the filter oftheir loss. I can’t alter what happened…I’ll have to live with it.Just like they must live with me trying to escape their smotheringfears.

He managed a smile for his father, who wascaught in a mire of overwhelming love that harmed its subject asmuch as it tried to help. “I’m glad you told me. Thank you.”

Vel dipped a nod.

Erybet broke the stretch of awkward silence.“What happens to Flist now? Have his parents looked into counselingfor him? I’ve met a guy who’s pretty damn good at that sort ofthing.” He grinned at Conyod.

Their soft laughter eased the tension. Velsaid, “I suggested Conyod, but the distance is far for them totravel regularly. They found someone closer. They also took me upon my offer to have Flist come to the ranch starting next week tolearn to train and exercise the kestarsh under my guidance. He’swelcome to visit as often as his studies allow. I have a feelinghe’ll be here every day.”

The group considered the boy, who’d enteredthe corral. He stood next to Yemasel, his head pressed to hers, hisarms around her neck. The small smile he’d discovered remained.Conyod saw peace there.

He thought it might be the same long-soughtpeace filling his own heart.

* * * *

Four months later

“They’ll be deployed off-planet for weeks ata time since they’re part of the ground troops. If there’s a waragainst Bi’is or the Tragooms step up their incursions on theempire, they could be gone for months.”

Conyod let his mother’s complaints wash overhim, his attention steadfast on the happier sounds of celebrationfollowing the formal ceremony in the grand hall of the militarybase. He wasn’t grouchy she carried on despite it being too late tochange the fact he was Imdiko Conyod of Clan Erybet. It was all hecould do to keep from laughing.

Laughing would have been far worse thanarguing with Lafec.

He knew the urge came from sheer happiness,not because he found his mother ridiculous. He had the perfectclanmates in Sletran and Erybet. He’d won the lottery where goodfortune was concerned. How could he ward off giddiness when hisdreams had come true?

“Are you hearing what I’m saying, my son?You’ll be alone.” She said it as if it were a deathsentence.

“I’m aware, and I’ve made my peace as far asthe situation is concerned. Many clans are like ours. In fact, Iwork at the hospital alongside the Dramok clanmate of theircommanding officer. Dr. Kivokan has gone through many suchseparations when High Commander Akrij is on deployment. Kivokan’soffered his support when Erybet and Sletran go off-planet for atour.” Conyod nodded toward the high-ranking clan who’d honoredthem by attending the ceremony.

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