Page 65 of Clan and Crave

As Hoslek had.

He watched them until they disappeared beyondthe jagged outcroppings their upward trail hid beyond. His love forthem and the terror the mountain would take them too shouted forhim to join them. Wouldn’t it be better to die beside them ratherthan go on alone?

The words to urge Dresk to follow themwouldn’t come. He sat unmoving, hating the fear holding himprisoner from doing what he should.

“This goddamned mountain,” he groaned. Dreskrumbled and tossed his head as if to agree.

Conyod glanced toward the distant ranch, justvisible from his perch. The vague shape of a shuttle sped in itsdirection, flying fast. It was forced to circle in a wide arc abovewhere the other shuttles were parked near the corral in order toslow enough to land. He guessed it must be family members of thosewho’d crashed on Evar. Perhaps a parent clan, fearing the worst andhoping for the best. Lafec would confront her own desperation fromyears ago on their faces. She’d dread having to watch them sharethe agony of loss that had darkened her years for so long.

He heard her despairing scream so clearly, hestarted. How could he detect it so far from where she was?

It’s a memory. One that had dimmed andfallen apart. A long-ago memory, mostly lost but gaining in clarityand knitting itself together as he sat there. His heart galloped,as if the sound had carried across the miles as well as the lasteighteen years.

* * * *

Conyod, age 7

“Ges is back, Mother!” Conyod shouted beforerunning from the corral where he’d been waiting hopefully.

Sema on his kestarsh had come into view, andLafec gasped. He led Ges by her bridle very slowly.

Hoslek wasn’t on her. Conyod peered for asign of his brother riding behind Sema, chastised and shamed forhis misbehavior, which had led to every able-bodied soul who couldsearch to do so.

Why wasn’t the rest of the rescue partyreturning alongside them?

Lafec raced past Conyod, flying in a blur toher clanmate and presumably her son. She was steps from them whenshe suddenly screamed. The sound was awful, like nothing Conyod hadever heard coming from a person’s throat. It went on and on,drenching the grassland beyond the ranch in grief and horror.Conyod’s steps slowed as terror grabbed him at the dreadful cry,but he didn’t stop. He’d wish often in the coming sweat-drenchednights he had.

Lafec dropped to her knees, still screaming.Sema leapt from his mount and raced to her to gather her in hisarms. Though Conyod was several yards from them, he heard hisImdiko father say, “He might have gotten away. We’ve found no signof him yet. He might have escaped, my love. Don’t give uphope.”

Though he’d left his mount and Ges behind,the kestarsh edged close to the pair. Ges’ head was down and everystep seemed arduous, unsteady. Her flanks swung oddly, so sheswayed to the side. She stumbled and nearly fell.

Conyod saw the jagged marks marring herdust-brown coat. Her flesh was open and bloody against her mutedhue, livid scarlet slashes revealing raw meat within. They were thesort of gashes he’d been shown on the few trees of the area androcks. He recalled the warnings given by his fathers and mothersince he’d learned to ride: “If you see these, a zibger is in theterritory. Turn and come home immediately.”

He halted in his tracks, staring at Ges’hideous injuries. An unbidden question fell from suddenly numblips. “Did it get Hoslek?”

Fortunately, his voice failed before he couldask the other question screaming in his skull. Did it eathim?

Lafec uttered a bizarre sound, a crossbetween a shriek and a groan. She shoved Sema away andhalf-crawled, half-staggered to Conyod. She grabbed him by theshoulders and shook him. “You must never go up Mount Evar! You mustnever climb that mountain! Never leave my sight, Conyod! Never!Never!”

She kept screeching “never” as Sema struggledto pry her grip from the bawling child, who fought to tear free.When at last he and his father did manage to rip him from hergrasp, Conyod ran to the house to hide. He ran to escape the sightof Ges lying on her side, dying of the horrific injuries.

More than anything, he ran to escape thefearsome creature his mother had transformed into.

* * * *

Conyod, age 25

He shivered and woke from the memory he’dmostly forgotten. For the past years, he’d easily recalled Semaleading the mortally injured Ges home. The vision of his mothercollapsing on the ground had been a snapshot recorded in his mind,alongside that of his other fathers returning later without Hoslek.He’d remembered them pointing to the Pinnacle where they’d foundthe kestarsh’s blood. But until this moment, he hadn’t rememberedGes’ exact injuries or his mother shaking him and screaming in hisface during a grief-stricken fit of madness.

Which had sent him into panic whenever he’ddared to approach Mount Evar and the Pinnacle? Had it been theknowledge Hoslek had died there or the suppressed memory of hisanguished mother, her beloved face transformed to a monstrous maskduring the greatest horror of Conyod’s young life?

He shivered again and realized thetemperature was dropping. An unseasonable cold spell had beenforecast, which had made the search for the crash survivors all themore imperative.

I should be looking too. Conyod gazedat the trail Sletran and Erybet had taken. His pulse quickened atthe idea of following them…and Lafec filled his vision once more,rabid in her agony. His chest tightened in fear.

I can’t go up the mountain. I shouldn’t livetrapped forever by her consuming grief either. I’ve never laidHoslek to rest in my heart, and it’s wrong. He deserves better thanmy regret and dread, which is what he’s come to represent tome.

Hoslek’s was the face of Conyod’s paininstead of a brother he’d loved more than anyone else. It was aterrible memorial.

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