Page 35 of Clan and Crave

“I tried once when a couple of hikers wentmissing. It was a week prior to my leaving for my training atKlapel Psychiatric School. They’d called for everyone available tojoin in, because there’d been a com from the hikers before contactwas lost. One had fallen, resulting in a broken leg and a headinjury. I rode Dresk as far as the foothills, but I couldn't forcemyself to go farther. I simply stopped and stared at that damnedstone needle and…I couldn’t move.”

“Did you think you might not come backeither?”

“It wasn’t that. It had been years since hedisappeared. There would have been nothing to find, but I keptseeing my brother’s bloody body stuffed in a crevice. It made nosense, but a part of me was convinced I’d find him, his eyes openand accusing me of letting him ride to his death.”

“The trauma you suffered was real.”

“I talked myself blue to Dr. Hupsan about itlasting so long and being so damned intense. I lived thescene playing in my head for those minutes I sat there trying tomake myself tell Dresk to go on. I felt the shock and horror andguilt of discovering Hoslek dead on the mountain. My heart waspounding, tears were running down my face, and I felt as if thebottom had dropped out of my life all over again. In the end, I hadto turn Dresk and ride home.”

“What did Dr. Hupsan say when you toldhim?”

“He said there’d probably always be anemotional reaction to a degree. I’d have to decide if it was worthchallenging Mount Evar and the Pinnacle. I could continue trying,or I could decide there was no reason for me to go up there again.Incidentally, they found the hikers and brought them home alive, somy turning tail and running had no impact on the search. It was arelief because the guilt if I could have helped and didn’t…” Hebroke off.

The pain in his eyes made Sletran want togather him in his arms, but the Nobek thought perhaps Conyodwouldn’t want him to for fear of his parents worrying.

“I’ve come across situations where rescuershave been traumatized too badly to continue doing the work,” henoted.

“I’d forgotten you’re involved in searchdetails. You’ve done search and rescue close the base, haven’tyou?”

“Your family’s loss inspired me to train forit and help where I could. I didn’t want to see another devastatedClan Tuher if there was anything I could do to prevent it.”

Conyod beamed at him. “Hero. Don’t bother todeny it.”

“Shut up. Let’s walk.” Sletran laughed andpulled him in the opposite direction of the mountains.

* * * *

Conyod opened his eyes and stared at thewooden rafters of the stable. A sharp ache had driven deep into hiscalf muscle, waking him. It was dark, the environs barely lit by asmall panel set at only ten percent two stalls from Dresk’s. Hisinternal clock told him it was the wee hours of the morning, farahead of dawn. Though he’d woken suddenly, he felt wide-eye alert.He wondered if he’d get any additional sleep before morning.

Serves me right for taking such a lengthynap. He’d let Sletran, Lafec, and Sema talk him into grabbing anap the prior afternoon. He’d gotten a full eight hours, sleepingthrough lunch and almost up to dinner.

He lay motionless despite the growing pain inhis leg, his gaze moving to take in his surroundings. Dresk laysleeping, his neck stretched, his face barely a foot from Conyod’s.On the Imdiko’s opposite side was the warmth of Sletran, theNobek’s arm slung around his waist. He’d been cheerful aboutsleeping in the stable next to Conyod, who’d wanted to keep sentryover Dresk despite the vet’s promising report and the kestarsh’ssteady improvement throughout the day.

Naturally, the Nobek was alert. When Conyodwoke up in the night, no matter how still he was or how he kept hisbreathing steady, Sletran woke too. “Are you all right?” hewhispered to avoid disturbing Dresk.

Conyod flexed his foot, then his knee. “Yeah.Mostly. Cramp in my leg. I’ll grab some air, walk it off. Don’t getup, okay? It’s cold tonight.”

“You sure?”

“I’ll probably only need a minute. Five atthe most.”

Conyod slipped from under the blanketcovering them, soft from many washings, as was the one they slepton. Sletran rubbed his back until he was beyond reach.

It was chilly, and Conyod shivered ashe left his lover’s warmth. Dresk, no doubt exhausted from hisillness and his broken sleep the night before…the vet had said itwas fine to stop the hourly walks if the kestarsh didn’t startcoughing again…didn’t move a muscle as Conyod limped from thestall. He’d probably sleep through the stable falling down, theImdiko thought.

He went outdoors. It was early morning, ashe’d suspected. All but the most distant of the five moons orbitingKalquor had set, leaving the surroundings barely illuminated. Hecould make out the hump of the hill sheltering his parents’ home.The outbuildings were dimly visible, strangely angled silhouettesdarker than the surrounding landscape. And of course, themountains. Their fang peaks appeared poised to rend the star-filledsky.

Conyod rose on his toes, then squatted in hiseffort to relieve the stubborn cramp in his leg. He wanted to runin the stable and crawl under the blanket to bask in Sletran’swarmth, whether more sleep was to be claimed or not. When the knotin his calf began to loosen, he stepped farther from the stable,where he could view the corral.

Movement at the corner of his eye brought himup short. He whirled to spot a pale figure at the far end of thecorral disappear behind the stable.

Conyod froze. The shape had been bipedal.Small. Like a boy, but so, so pale in the dim light.

He started toward the corral, then thoughtbetter of it. He turned and hurried as fast as he could safely doso around the building. What moonlight was available was on theopposite side of the structure, leaving Conyod in deep shadow. Heknew equipment was stored next to the stable, tools and supplies hecould break a leg on if he stumbled over them. He was forced tofeel his way to the end of the building.

When he reached it, the light was better.There was no sign of anyone. Nothing moved no matter how hesearched.

Was it the ghost everyone’s been seeinglately? Maybe the same one they saw years ago? The ghost he’dnever encountered, despite his efforts to do so? It had stoppedcoming before he’d come home from his stay at the mental healthfacility. Why had it returned after so many years?

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