Page 48 of How May I Please You

“It was me. I attacked her,” she continues, her head dropping as she accepts defeat. “I lost it when you told me you had a new girl on your crew. I became enraged the moment I saw her from across the street. She shook your hand and sauntered away like she was begging for you to look at her ass, and I knew I had to get her out of there. So I followed her back to her hotel that night and I attacked her. The marks on my knuckles and arms were from her. I’m so sorry, Sir.”

My head spins, struggling to remain sane as the information hits me.

“Journey, I didn't even know that girl.”

“I know. I just … lost it.”

My eyes fall to the floor. “That’s why she was afraid when Trey mentioned my name.”

“I told her not to mention you or ever think of you again.”

“Jesus fucking Christ. You connected yourself to me while attacking her? Journey what the fuck?”

“I don't know,” she bellows, practically bawling now. “I know it was fucking stupid, but I lost it when I saw her, and I thought I was helping.”

“Helping with what?”

“I don't know. Helping to protect us from people like her. People who swoop into your life and do damage with their flirting. I thought you might be into her.”

“Journey, I couldn't have possibly given two shits about that girl!”

“I know, but I thought that maybe you could if you continued to spend time with her every day at work. So, to me, I was helping. Just like how I helped with that asshole from the bar. I was taking control of the situation before it could get out of hand. The same way I controlled the Sierra Cross case when it began, even though I already knew she was buried in your backyard.”

The world completely stops spinning as I stare at Journey. Her eyes bulge, like she can’t believe the words that just came out of her mouth. There’s silence for a moment before I'm able to speak.

“What did you just say?”

Journey places a hand over her mouth. “I … you … nothing. I—”

I remove my foot from inside the truck and close the door, walking slowly until I’m only inches from Journey. “You knew?”

Panic floods Journey’s face. “Evan, I—”

“You just said that you already knew she was buried in my backyard when the case began?” I ask, ready to completely implode. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Journey shakes her head like she’s in disbelief. “I’m sorry, Evan. I knew.”

“How?” I shout. “How is that possible?”

Journey raises her head, looking up at the ceiling as she begins to explain.

“This might be hard to hear,” she says. “But at least when I’m finished telling it, there will be no more lies between us. This is everything.”

“Just fucking tell me.”

More tears fall as she lowers her head and locks eyes with me.

“I saw you in the club,” she says, her eyes never leaving mine. “I saw you at The Black Collar long before you saw me, and I was instantly drawn to you. You were a bright, red hot flame and I was your moth. I think I loved you before I ever knew you, and the same way you had a voice in your head telling you to do things, mine told me that you were meant for me. So, one night I followed you out of the club as you were leaving with some skank. I parked behind your house as you went inside, and I fucked myself to the images playing in my head. I imagined what you were doing to the girl you brought home, and I put myself in her place. Thoughts of you fucking me sent me into the stratosphere, and I came like never before. I was hooked on you.

“Once it happened once, it was like I couldn't stop. I returned to The Black Collar every weekend looking for you. Sometimes you showed up, sometimes you didn't, but when you did, I followed you home. I couldn't get enough of it. The next thing I knew, a year and a half had gone by and I was still following you home after you left the club nearly every weekend.

“One night, the process repeated exactly the same. You left The Black Collar with Sierra and I was right behind you, ready to do what I’d been doing for so long. But this time, the girl didn't leave, and in all the times I saw you have one night stands, never once did it turn into a sleepover. I knew something was wrong, and it was confirmed when you came out the back door with a large footlocker, dragging it through the yard like it was extremely heavy. I watched you dig the hole, nervously looking around to make sure you were alone. I watched you drop the footlocker inside, and I watched you bury it. When the call came in about a missing person who was last sighted at The Black Collar, I jumped at the case because I knew it was you. It was my chance to stop watching and actually meet you, so I took it. That’s how we met.”

By the time she’s done talking, my jaw is on the floor. A million thoughts form and die in my head, filling my brain with everything and nothing at the same time. I can’t even speak. A year and a half. She was following me to my house for a year and a half. She watched me bury the footlocker and knew about it the entire time. I can't fathom her meeting me, knocking on my door as a detective, and already knowing I was guilty. From the very beginning, she was lying to me. Journey has been lying to me from the very first moment we met.

“Sir?” she calls to me, her head tilted, surely wondering what I’m thinking right now.

“You knew the entire time,” I say as a statement, not a question. I don't have any more questions now. The truth to everything has finally been revealed.

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