Page 36 of How May I Please You

I smile, falling in love with how animated she gets when talking about killing someone. I fucking love it, and I love how willing she is to go all out to keep us both safe. However, there is more to it than my Little One is realizing.

“I hear you,” I say, leaning back in my chair and lifting my beer. “And what happens when you start getting questioned? There’s no way we do this without you becoming the focal point of an investigation. Losing two partners so close together will not fly under the radar.”

Journey’s beautiful brown eyes dance around the room in search of answers.

“Well, that’s part of the problem,” she admits. “But I can handle that. No matter how many questions I get, there won't be any evidence leading to me. They can ask whatever they want but they can’t prove anything.”

What an ironic thing to say considering the circumstances.

“Okay, let’s say you're right about that. Even if they can’t prove that you did anything to either of those fucking losers, the investigation will almost certainly lead them to me. We’ve dodged scrutiny by keeping our relationship off the radar of anyone in your department. We made the mistake of going out to lunch with your partner one time, and he has already recognized my name. What would your captain do if he found out you and I were together?”

Realization slaps Journey across the face, forcing her to sit back down.

“It wouldn't be good,” she agrees, nodding with disappointment hanging from her face.

“No, it wouldn't. We have to keep in mind that Winter got approval from a judge to conduct a search on my house. The only reason it didn't go any further is because of your statement saying that you didn't find anything. Sierra’s body is still buried there, so we don't need to do anything that could remind them about my connection to her. Investigating you will lead them to investigating me, which would surely lead them back to my house in Strawberry Mansion. That’s the last thing we need, so we have to play this smart.”

“Okay, so then what do you suggest?”

“We have to wait,” I answer.

Journey sits back in her seat, clearly annoyed.

“We don't have enough information,” I go on. “Until we know whether the guy is looking into you or is just weird, we can’t act. Little One, I know how we handle things like this, and I know you enjoy it. I do too, but we are not serial killers. We don't bury people indiscriminately. We got rid of Winter because he caught us trying to move Sierra’s body. We ended Cain because he was talking to Winter about how we attacked him. We had reasons, and until Summers finds out something he isn’t supposed to know, or shows that he’s looking in places that are off limits to him, we shouldn't risk it all.”

Journey twists her lips together, genuinely let down by the fact that we can’t kill her partner … yet.

“Listen,” I say, even though she’s staring into space instead of looking at me. “I love you, and I love this life that we have together—the toys we have in the basement, The Black Collar, the lifestyle. I love it all, and I'm so glad that we found each other. I would strangle Sierra Cross a thousand times if I knew it would lead me to you all over again. I don't want to risk what we have unless we absolutely have to. Sometimes shit happens and we can react on impulse, like with the guy at the club. With this situation, we can take our time and find things out before making a move too soon.

“So now it’s your turn, Little One. You're worried that Summers might be looking into you, well now it’s time for you to start looking into him. Start paying attention to what he’s doing. Start checking for him, seeing who he’s talking to, watching where he goes when he leaves you by yourself, reading his emails if he leaves his computer open. See who he’s talking to when he texts. If he wants to wiggle his way into your life, start cutting your way into his. It’s no different than when we were worried about Winter and what he might do. We had to wait, and the second you found out he got a search warrant for my place, you called and we acted.”

Journey nods, her eyes slowly finding me again. “You’re right. I need to slow down and see where this goes. But if I find out that he’s checking us out, we’re going to have to handle it quickly. I won't want to waste time and risk whatever he learns getting to Saunders or anybody else.”

“We won't hesitate for a second,” I reply. “If he gives us reason to be suspicious, I promise I will slit his fucking throat myself. Okay?”

Journey nods as a smile slowly takes shape on her face. “Yes, Sir.”

chapter

twenty-two

I can still picture Detective Winter hanging from his ceiling fan like it happened yesterday. His eyes were closed, neck bent at an awkward angle, and his body swayed ever so gently while Journey and I fucked beneath his corpse. Yeah, that’s not the kind of memory that fades quickly. I hope it never does. I want those details as fresh in my mind as possible as a reminder of how far Journey and I have come, and how far we’re willing to go when we feel threatened.

I wonder if the same fate awaits her new partner. Detective Summers doesn't have to undergo any suffering. He doesn't have to die. Since Journey and I moved in together, I’ve been actively trying not to kill people. Sure, I have urges that I give into. The wrong words could easily result in a knife in your cheek or a blade through your tongue, but dead bodies are hard to hide. Hell, my first one is still buried in my backyard. I own the deed and the house isn't up for sale so I’m not worried about it, but Sierra is still there, resting eternally in her permanent grave. The last thing I want is to have to figure out how to hide more corpses.

Eh, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

What does it mean for us if I end up having to drain this man of all his blood? There's no question that they would look at Journey, and who knows where that could lead their investigation. It’s such a huge risk to our life together that I feel as though I have no choice but to wait and see what happens. On the other hand, if Summers really is looking into our past, his existence is just as much a threat as his dead body would be.

“How’s it going over here, Evan?”

I swing around to find Trey standing behind me. Shit. For a moment, I forgot I was actually at work. The loud noises of the job site come screaming back to life as a truck filled with concrete raises its chute to pour another wall only a few feet away. Shawn and the rest of my team standby, hands on shovels and concrete rakes, ready to shift the falling ‘crete into its proper position in the forms. Two walls have been poured, each of them surrounded by men on their hands and knees, working the mixture with trowels to make sure the finish is level and smooth. We’ll be at this for most of the day, yet I can’t keep my mind off of what I will probably end up having to do to another detective. One day these people are going to have to learn how to stop dying.

“Hey, what’s up, Trey?” I say, coming back to reality. “Everything is good over here. Two walls down, a fucking billion to go.”

Trey chuckles. “Yeah, it’s gonna be a long day, that’s for sure. We’ve been so busy with this shit lately, I feel like I haven't had time to slow down and process it all.”

“We’ve been on the grind for this one,” I add as Shawn positions himself next to the chute to guide it when the concrete starts to slide out.

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