Page 52 of The Abandoned Princess

“Every day.” He hesitated. “I would never want to live away from him permanently.”

I glanced sideways at him, wondering if I’d misheard the extra note of meaning in his second sentence. Was he trying to tell me that while he might happily travel the Four Kingdoms alone, his eventual home would be with his family?

Did I feel the same way? I could almost feel the unspoken question in the air, but I wasn’t ready to answer it—either aloud, given what the words might imply, or even to myself. I didn’t know the answer.

I considered the question, though, thinking it through from every angle. I knew that Giselle had been sent to the Four Kingdoms in the hope of a marriage alliance, but since I had been thirteen at the time of the delegation, it hadn’t been in my thoughts for myself. Of course I had always known the likelihood of princesses—especially younger ones—being used in marriage alliances. But there had been no obvious candidates among the royal circles from my home kingdoms or even among the Four Kingdoms.

As a child I had dreamed of going on grand adventures, but I had always pictured myself returning home afterward, and home had always meant Trione. I certainly longed to see it again, and my family especially. If I did ever get my home back, could I bring myself to leave it again?

I didn’t have to consider the question long. I had only been out of the tower for two days and I was already caught up in the thrill of adventure once more. I might have spent time dreaming of a calm life at home, but it wouldn’t hold my interest for long. I was determined to return to Trione, but I wouldn’t stay there forever.

A deeper realization hit me, shaking me. Trione represented my childhood and family, and it would always be in my heart, but I hadn’t set foot there in five years. It hadn’t been my choice to leave, but it wasn’t my home anymore.

“The tower isn’t my home!” I said fiercely, causing both Xander and Lori to give me odd looks. “Sorry,” I muttered, “just talking to myself.”

“The tower was your prison,” Xander said. “That’s not the same thing as a home.” He paused. “But it’s only natural that it would have gained the familiarity of a home. It was your world for years. It’s equally natural that it might feel strange to leave it and know you’re never going back. There’s no reason to feel bad about that.”

“Most of the time, I just wanted to be free of it,” I said quietly. “But sometimes, when Eulalie was far away, and the wind was howling, I would close the shutters and feel…safe.”

Xander stopped in the middle of the road and swept his arms around me, pulling me into a hug and holding me tight against his chest. I gave a small squeak but made no effort to pull away.

“What are you doing?” Lori cried in scandalized tones, but Xander ignored her.

“You’re a remarkable girl, Daisy,” he murmured against my hair. “In case no one’s said it to you before, you’ve done incredibly. While I was searching for you, I used to worry about what state you might be in after all this time. And when I heard there was a girl who’d been alone in a tower for five years…” He shook his head, still holding me tight against him.

“I didn’t dare hope you would be, well—you. You went into the tower a child, but you’ve come out an adult. Your old place won’t fit you anymore, but that doesn’t mean the tower is where you belong.” He leaned back to look down into my face. “It just means you need to find the place where the adult you belongs.”

I stared at him, willing my bottom lip not to tremble. I lost the battle, the tears spilling out of my eyes. I pushed my face back into his chest and let them fall, my shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

Lori was making distressed clucking sounds in the background, but it was the anchor of Xander’s firm hold that made the tears slowly fade. When they finally stopped completely, I pulled away from him.

I knew I should be embarrassed, but I couldn’t muster the feeling.

“I don’t want to be lost in anger,” I said. “I don’t want to lose even more years of my life that way. But sometimes I feel furious at what Eulalie took from me.”

I looked up into Xander’s face and felt a ripple of shock at the anger in his eyes that mirrored my own.

“I can assure you that her days of freedom are about to end,” he said in such a menacing voice that I fell back a step.

“I’m sorry.” I wiped my eyes on my sleeves, taking the opportunity to break eye contact. “I’ve made a mess of us both.”

“I can smell smoke,” Lori said suddenly, her nose raised toward the road in front of us.

“Eulalie?” I asked, struggling to adjust my thoughts to the change of topic and tone. “Has she stopped for the night?”

“It looks like it,” Xander said. “I’ll just go and check—”

“I will go,” Lori said firmly. “She knows what you look like, remember?”

When Xander appeared rebellious, she continued. “For all your adventures, lad, I’ll warrant I’ve more experience creeping through forests after Eulalie than you.”

His lips twitched. “I certainly can’t fight that claim. Consider me put in my place.”

She shook her head as she hurried off with a final warning to us not to move an inch in her absence. As soon as she was gone, however, Xander started scouting the forest on either side of the road for a good spot to set ourselves up for the night.

By the time Lori came back to confirm that Eulalie was settled for the evening with a campfire and cooking food, Xander had already chosen a location for our own camp and I’d started gathering firewood.

“Won’t Eulalie smell our smoke like we smelled hers?” I asked warily, but he brushed the concerns aside.

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