Page 69 of Love Like Lightning

“Let’s focus on tonight before we worry about tomorrow, okay?” She grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze.

I take a deep breath, but don’t even try to make the tears stop. Now that they’ve started, there’s no point. I can’t even think past the shower.

So, I don’t. I let Simone carry some of my stuff upstairs, and I quietly make my way to the bathroom. I hear Simone calling in our order just before I turn the shower on and let myself have the breakdown that’s been building since last night.

And I don’t worry about anything other than getting all my feelings out and feeding myself.

Tomorrow I can worry about what I’m going to do about this thing with Henry.

Tonight, I’ll just cry about it.

And maybe drink about it.

29

Henry

After what feels like hours, I finally stop pacing around my apartment and drop onto the couch. I throw an arm over my eyes and sigh for probably the hundredth time in the last twenty-four hours.

Much to Ian’s dismay.

“Bro, seriously, I want to go to bed. I'm getting on the road early tomorrow to head back to school,” Ian growls, grad school clearly more important than what’s going on here, and I hear him shift on the other end of the couch.

“We find out that our family’s business is in dire straits last night and you’re ready to head back to school?” I ask the question, namely to piss him off. I’d rather fight with him right now than deal with the demons in my own head.

“And what are you doing other than moping? How is this helpful?”

He doesn’t take the bait, which only annoys me more. I’ve been in my head for almost twenty-four hours. I made sure to text my mom and dad to let them know I was shutting my phone off late last night, and I haven’t touched it since. The only reason I’m even speaking to Ian is because he’s staying with me.

“I should go talk to her.” I speak my thoughts aloud, knowing he won’t like it.

“Who? Mom? Mack? I promise, you don’t want to talk to Mack right now. She was raging pretty hard earlier. I feel bad for that guy. He’s going to be up against the bull when they have to work together.” He lets out a tired laugh, and I finally pull my arm away from my face.

Looking at him, I wonder if this situation is bothering him more than he’s letting on. He’s not directly involved with the business like Mack or Art, but sometimes I wonder if he worries about missing out on stuff like this because of grad school.

“I meant Gianna. I should go find her. Talk.”

“Hammer, are you serious?”

“Deadly.” It’s not even a question, really. Of course I’m going to talk to Gia. I mean, I was full of steam last night, completely taken off guard.

Pissed. I was outright pissed at the blatant dishonesty.

But after probably half a night’s rest and some work today, I know we both deserve to have a conversation about everything. Not only this huge secret she kept about my parents and their business, but also about our relationship.

I need her to know how I feel about her.

“Why even bother?”

“What do you mean?” I roll my head to the side, resting it against the back of the couch.

“She’s just another fling, right? And she lied to you. And she’s going to be working at the lodge. I don’t get why you’d even worry about it. I don’t know why you’re so worked up about this.”

I’m so exhausted from the day and the amount of time I’ve been spending in my head that my body feels like it’s melting into the couch. “She’s not some girl I hooked up with. Okay, she is. But she’s…she’s also my friend. And I really like her, Ian. More than I’ve ever liked anyone in my life. So I’m going to go find her and have a conversation because, clearly, I don’t know all the facts. And I know she doesn’t know how much I love her. There’s a conversation to be had.”

I watch him process what I’m saying. His eyebrows raise even as his eyelids droop. He scratches his head.

“You said love.”

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