Page 53 of Love Like Lightning

The idea that maybe I can date whoever I want, whether they’re younger than me or work outside of finance, is freeing, in a way. Slowly, the parameters that I created around what my life needs to look like fall away. I feel light and happy.

When three servers come by at the end of our meal carrying a tiramisu with a candle lit in the middle, the joy inside me expands almost unbelievably. They’re singing “Happy Birthday,” and when they place the dessert in front of me so I can blow the candle out, I look at Henry.

He’s watching me with a thoughtful, serene smile on his face. His eyes are lit up, happiness creating those endearing crinkles around them. “I might have snuck off to tell them it was your birthday.” He leans in to whisper in my ear.

“My birthday was months ago,” I remind him, unable to tear my eyes from his.

He just shrugs. “Yeah, but we didn’t get a chance to celebrate.”

It’s such a simple thing, but the gesture has me close to tears. Sure, I celebrated with my family on my actual birthday, but something about this right here has me almost floating in bliss. The feeling burrows its way into my heart, so deep I know it’s not going anywhere.

23

Henry

I’m trying to shake off the feeling of unworthiness that’s stuck to me like tar since last night. I wish I could say that hearing about the kinds of guys Gia usually dates didn’t affect me, but here we are.

Her admitting that maybe she was going after the wrong kinds of guys soothed the ache in my chest enough for me to enjoy the rest of the dinner, but everything coupled with what she said about not dating at all right now was a lot.

I’ve all but accepted that I’m going to continue falling for this girl whether or not we end up dating at all. Somewhere between our walk at the lake and the dinner with Hank and Betty, it became clear. Despite never actively wanting or thinking about dating, I want her. As more than a friend. More than I ever planned.

I guess I never knew it could feel like this with someone. Wanting to be around them more often than not. Thinking of them when I should be focused on something else. Carving out time when there’s barely any to work with.

I guess the only downside is that nothing is going to happen between us.

It is what it is, and I’m just going to enjoy whatever time she spends with me.

That’s why when she offered to take a look at my books, I took her up on it. Well, Betty did the offering, but Gia didn’t seem opposed to the idea.

Walking into Books N’ Brew, I spot my mom handing several Tupperware containers of pastries over to Leah.

“Hey, Mom.” I lean down to give her a hug once her hands are free. Seeing her now, I realize how long it’s been since we’ve talked. Usually, she or my dad call almost weekly for me to come fix something out at the lodge, but I haven’t gotten a call like that in a few weeks.

“Hey, honey, it’s been a while since I’ve seen this face.” Her expression turns accusatory as she briefly palms my cheek.

“Yeah, sorry, things have been busy. You guys haven’t needed anything done lately, it seems, and I’ve been training this new employee, so I’ve had to miss the last couple of family dinners. I promise I’ll be there this week.”

“All right. And did you pick up your glucose monitor refills at the pharmacy? I got a call the other day, and I know how you can be sometimes, forgetting.”

It takes an enormous effort, but I manage to not let out the world’s largest sigh. This isn’t the first time that the pharmacy has called my mom instead of me when my refills are in, despite me being a grown adult. You forget one time when you’re nineteen, and suddenly you don’t know how to take care of yourself.

“I took care of it, although I’d know sooner if they’d stop calling you and just call me.” I refrain from rolling my eyes. I know my mom doesn’t ask for the call. The pharmacist is an old friend of Dad’s, and they’ve always worried about me taking care of myself. It’s all because they love me. But it stings that I can’t be trusted all the same.

“And this training, it’s not too much? Things are going well enough to hire someone?” My mom asks the same question she asked the first time I brought up bringing someone on, and I don’t know what to say, so I shift the conversation.

“Hey, listen, I was thinking we should conference in Art and Natalie this week at dinner. It’s been a while since we video chatted with them, and they’re staying at this really cool place in Greece.”

“You know, that might be a good idea. Maybe after dinner depending on how things go.” She gives me a quick smile and pats me on the shoulder. “I’ve got to run now, but I’d better see you soon all right? Don’t overdo it on the cranberry muffins. I know they’re your favorite.”

Saying a quick goodbye to Leah, my mom hurries out the door, leaving me standing alone at the counter.

I wasn’t even planning to get a muffin or anything; I was going to stick with coffee. But now that I know Mom brought in cranberry muffins…I have to have at least one.

Turning to Leah with a grin, I order. “Hi, Leah, I’d love a small black coffee and one of those cranberry muffins.”

Punching in my order, she gives me the total. “They’re still a little warm, I think.” After she charges my card, she pours my coffee into a small mug and hands me a muffin on a small plate. “Sorry, I didn’t ask if this was supposed to be to go.”

“Nope, I’m sticking around for a bit. I’m meeting someone.”

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