Page 23 of Bitter House

“She was so different back then,” I say, running a finger over the photograph. “We didn’t get to see this version of her.”

“Life changes you,” he says sadly. “Losing people. Parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, a husband, a daughter and son-in-law. Nearly everyone she ever loved was gone long before she was. I don’t know how she was still standing, if I’m being honest.”

I flip to the next photograph, grinning when I see my mother dressed in a very large prom dress next to a boy her age, while my grandfather looks on from the background. This must’ve been taken just before he died. They had no idea it was coming.

There are several photographs of Vera and my grandfather at various outings, galas, and parties, always dressed in the finest formalwear and looking better than everyone around them.

“They certainly were something, weren’t they?” I muse, taking a sip of my drink and glancing at Cole next to me. We’re so close our shoulders are practically touching.

“What do you think it’s like?” he asks, his voice low and curious. “To love someone that much?”

I look up to meet his eyes, shocked by the question. His gaze lifts from the photo and back to me, his dark eyes warmer than I think I’ve ever seen them.

A current swims through my core. “I wouldn’t know,” I say softly. “Cozy, I guess. Safe.”

“I feel like it’s the opposite,” he whispers, his eyes drilling into mine. He cocks his head to the side, looking away briefly, and I miss the way he was just looking at me, miss the heat of his gaze. He pulls his knee up, bending his leg under himself, and his pants brush my thigh. My mind goes slightly fuzzy at the contact, and I look down, waiting to see if he’s going to pull away.

When I look back over at him, his eyes are there waiting for me. His throat swells with a swallow that I feel somewhere deep inside of me.

The air is thick between us with something like anxiety on fire. Suddenly, the space around us is too small, and we’re too close. I can feel his body heat. Or…no. Maybe that’s mine. My face is hot, ears ringing. I should want to pull away from him, but I don’t.

If anything, I want to be closer.

What is happening to me? This is Cole. Cole! The man I’ve loathed my entire life, but suddenly, it doesn’t feel so much like loathing. It feels…like the static electricity on clothes when you pull them from the dryer.

Tension crackles through the air between us, and my breathing slows.

“The opposite?” I ask.

His Adam’s apple bobs with another hard swallow, and he looks away from me, down into his glass. Swirling the cup in his hand, he says, “It must be terrifying, I mean. To love someone so much when you know you’ll lose them someday. And then…” His eyes bounce back up to mine. “And then you’ll never be the same.”

I swallow. “I guess you’re right.”

“Have you ever been in love, B? Bridget?” He corrects himself quickly.

“You can call me B.” I’m trying to buy myself time more than anything because I feel like I might combust. These feelings have never been here between the two of us. “And, um, yeah. Once.” I chew my bottom lip. “In college.” I lift my glass to my mouth, breaking whatever spell I’m currently under as I take another sip. “Blake Potter.”

His eyes follow my glass from my lips and back down, and there’s that magic again. My heart is racing in my chest, clawing at my ribcage. “What happened?”

“It just…didn’t, um, work out,” I say, my voice low and slow. It’s taking real concentration to make my brain work. He licks his lips, and I follow his tongue with my gaze, trying to make the words in my head string together to form a coherent sentence. “We, um, we…dated for three out of the four years and then it just sort of fizzled out when we realized we both wanted different things. Like…I wanted to start a career, plan a life, and…he wanted to backpack through Europe and find himself.” Even now, my smile is bitter, but the pain is numb. Cole scoots a bit closer to me, and the cologne on his skin ignites my senses.

“I’m sorry.” He seems genuine when he says it.

I shake his concern off as his eyes dance between mine. He looks as if he might kiss me, and I think I might be okay with it. “It was a long time ago.” I look down, tucking a piece of hair behind my ears. What if this is all a trap? What if he’s trying to seduce me and trick me into giving him the house? “What about you? Have you…been in love?” I can’t bear to look at him as I ask.

“Um, I don’t know.”

The tension seems to dissipate as I look up at him, the lightning in the air nearly gone. I nudge him with my elbow. “Come on. I gave you a real answer.” My skin rests against his for a moment too long, and he glances down at it, his cheeks growing red. Like a lit match to a room of gasoline, the fire is back.

“Once, too, I think. But it was a long time ago.”

“And? What was her name?”

He looks away, one corner of his mouth upturned as he takes another big drink. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Why?” I’m desperate for the answer, ready to crawl out of my skin.

“It didn’t work out.” He shrugs.

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