Page 21 of Bitter House

“And you have no idea where the letters are coming from?”

“No. They’ve been left on the front porch both times. It has to be someone who knows the gate code,” I tell her.

She nods. “Yes, but that could be a lot of people. Vera hasn’t changed it in years. There were so many delivery drivers and service men, ex-employees. It doesn’t help.”

“We found a gun in the wall, just like the letter said,” Cole tells her. “Did you know it was there?”

I’m expecting her to say no, so when she nods hesitantly, chills creep and crawl over my skin like cobwebs.

“I knew Vera kept a gun in the house, yes.” She looks at me. “It was your grandfather’s. She kept it hidden so you kids would never find it, but it was just the two of us here, two women. If someone came in and tried to hurt us, Vera wanted to be prepared.”

I nod, though I still can’t imagine Vera ever harming anyone. Not physically, anyway. No, she preferred to break spirits, not bones.

“And the rest of it? The secrets?” I gesture toward the notes. “The fact that she was dangerous? What do you think? Do you have any idea what they could be talking about? Cole says you mentioned she was fighting with Zach before she died. And that there was an incident with a man yelling at her in the kitchen a few months after I moved in.”

She nods, running a hand over her stomach with a deep inhale. “Why don’t we all sit down?”

Agreeing, I follow her into the sitting room and take a seat on the sofa. Cole sits next to me and Edna takes the armchair, scooting it until it’s directly in front of us. This is eerily reminiscent of the many times Edna lectured us about grades or parties or safe sex from these exact spots.

“To answer your first question, yes. Vera and Zach weren’t seeing eye to eye in the months before she died, but that wasn’t unusual. Before Vera died, when her health was declining, Zach reached out to ask about her will. Vera was adamant she didn’t want anyone except her attorneys to know what was in it until she’d died. She used witnesses provided by the firm and wouldn’t let anyone else know what it held. Of course, your aunt wasn’t happy about that, and Zach made it known.”

I rub my lips together, thinking. “I don’t understand, though. I thought they hadn’t had contact in years.”

Edna takes a deep breath, eyes drifting toward the ceiling with a shake of her head. “Well, if it had been up to Vera, they wouldn’t have. She cut them off, but Jennifer isn’t one to let things go, as you’re probably going to find out. She always thought Vera should be doing more for her boys. She thought she was favoring you, that you got special treatment because you lived with Vera.”

If she only knew.

Edna wrings her hands together in her lap. “When Vera sent them all away, it wasn’t the last she heard from Jennifer, and as the boys got older, they started calling, too. Sending letters, coming to the house and even, a few times, tracking her down and confronting her in public to ask for money for this or that.”

“And did she give them anything?” A lump forms in my throat.

“Never.”

“But why? Why send them away and refuse to help them? I never understood that. Vera had plenty of money.” We both seem to know I’m not only asking about Aunt Jenn and my cousins. “Why would she abandon them?”

Edna sighs, her eyes wide with worry and frustration. “Vera had her reasons. I know you think she was cold. I know you think what she did to you—sending you away—was awful, and I’m inclined to agree with you.” She pats my thigh. “But, sweetheart, she loved you. In the only way she knew how, she loved you. She was complicated and…distant.” She’s clearly choosing her words carefully. “But she wasn’t a bad person.” She glances back into the kitchen. “Whatever those letters say, whoever is sending them, don’t let them tarnish the good memories you have with your grandmother.”

“I don’t know that I had any good memories,” I admit.

“That’s not true. She took you in. She gave you everything you could want.”

“That wasn’t love. She wasn’t the one taking me to doctor’s appointments when I was sick. She wasn’t the one taking me shopping for clothes before each new school year. Or talking me through my first breakup.”

“She paid for those things, Bridget. Gave me the time away from my work to be able to help you through everything. I know you can’t understand it, but Vera was here for you in the only way she knew how to be.”

I inhale deeply. “You’re right, I don’t understand that. I never will. How can you defend her? You were always here for me, and then you just took her side in the end, just packed my bags and sent me on my way.” My voice cracks, and humiliation fills me as tears overflow from my eyes. I didn’t want to do this.

“Sweetheart…” She brushes my tears away, and just like that, I’m twelve years old, with Edna holding me against her chest while I sob over a nightmare about the car crash once again. “It was never about sides. Is that what you’ve thought all these years? Following Vera’s orders never meant I loved you any less. I begged her not to go through with it, but her mind was made up. I did what I had to do, but it never meant I stopped checking up on you or worrying about you.” She smiles through tears of her own. “I love you like you are my own child. As much as I love my own child.” Her eyes find Cole.

He clears his throat. “What about the man in the kitchen that night? Do you remember him?”

“Vera always tried to keep her private life private,” she says, drying her eyes. “That night, it didn’t work. The man you saw was an old friend who’d had too much to drink. A simple misunderstanding.”

“Who was it?” I ask.

“No one you know. I don’t want you to worry about it. It was hard for Vera to date, you understand, being who she was. Wealthy, well known. But that didn’t mean she never got lonely. Sometimes men misunderstood her intentions.”

I swallow. The idea of Vera dating feels impossible. She hid so much of herself from me, but I never imagined a whole part of her daily life could be concealed.

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