Page 44 of The Stranger

“What did you do, Lori?” Tony asks, shaking his head. He’s trying to pull open the car door, but I realize it must be locked. He’s just as trapped as we are, and now I’m positive he’s not involved in this plan. He looks as though he’s going to pass out. “Why would you do that?” He’s crying, I realize, and I’m aware that I am, too. Cold, wet tears paint my cheeks as I watch her approach him without a word. “Why?” he demands.

“Tony…” She holds both arms out as if she might drop the knife, though she doesn’t. “Wait, Tony. Please! Just wait. Let me explain. I had to do it. I had to.”

For a second, I’m not sure what she’s doing, but then I realize she’s going to pull him into a hug as she crosses the snowy ground quickly on her way to him. He seems frozen in place as he lets her approach him, still crying and shaking.

“Why?” he asks again through his tears, his voice soft.

“Shhh…” She silences him as she moves closer. “Come here.”

No time to waste, I rush forward across the snow banks and to Walker as fast as my legs will carry me. When I reach him, I drop down on my knees next to where he’s lying. His blood is slowly painting the snow crimson all around him.

I place a hand on his back. “Walker…”

His eyes flick open at the sound of my voice. He’s still alive, but barely. His chest rises and falls with quick, ragged breaths. He clutches a handful of snow under his palm, his eyes wild as he searches the night sky for something I don’t understand.

I dig into his pocket and find his phone, dialing 911. “Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.”

Call Failed

I try again.

Call Failed

And again.

Call Failed

And again.

Each time, I get the same horrible message. The message that tells me help isn’t coming. That we’re on our own.

He lifts his hand slowly, reaching for the phone and slips it out of my grasp.

“No. Stop it. I’m not giving up on you,” I vow, taking it back from him. His hand comes to rest on my thigh and fresh tears sting my eyes.

“It’s okay.” His voice is powerless. Empty.

I can’t watch him die, but I can’t look away.

I should go. I should run. I should leave him and save myself, and yet I can’t move. I don’t even want to.

“Walker.” My tears fall onto his shirt, painting dark speckles on the fabric. “I’m so sorry. What do I do? What should I do?” The storm’s repercussions are endless. I have no phone and no way to call for help. No vehicle. Nothing. I’m alone, and he’s dying, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.

I want to say so much. To thank him for all he did for me, to tell him how much it’s meant, how much he means, but I can’t bring myself to say the words. Even in this terrible, heart-wrenching moment, the last moment I may get with him, I can’t push past the uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability. I guess he was right. I’m a cat through and through. And my dog, my best friend, is dying right in front of me.

“You have to run. You have to leave me.” His voice is broken and powerless as he flips his hand over, fingers outstretched.

He’s reaching for me.

The Tibby he met earlier tonight wouldn’t have taken his hand for all the money in the world. In fact, she would’ve slapped it away for good measure. But now, this version of myself…I can’t help it. I don’t want to resist. A lump forms in my throat, so sticky and thick I can’t swallow it down. If that’s all I can do, the only way I can show him how much he means to me, I’ll do it. I take his hand and hold it between both of mine, hoping he’ll somehow understand what I’m trying to say. What I wish I was strong enough to say.

“I’m not leaving you,” I promise him. Hours ago, we were strangers. Now, the idea of losing him is devastating. Painful in the most real, raw way imaginable.

I won’t survive watching him die. I know this as much as I know I need oxygen to live, and yet I refuse to leave him or look away. I need to save him. I’d do anything to save him, but it’s impossible.

The realization sits heavily in my chest. There’s guilt there, too, because if the situation were reversed, he’d probably do something stupid like attack Lori and steal the car, somehow making it to the hospital just in time to save me.

But I can’t do that.

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