Page 117 of The Lucky One

Emily

“Little German...”

Jon stood in front of me with a bouquet of handpicked daisies that looked equally as sad as him. His shoulders were bowed in his stupid leather jacket, and his eyes were swollen and red, but I knew he wasn’t on anything. They were missing that shimmer that came with the high.

“I’m ready to talk now,” he said.

I knew I’d told him I would be waiting, but it wasn’t relief that overcame me but anger. We had lost weeks. Weeks, and now we only had a few more left.

“If you still want to talk... I understand if I overdid it this time.” He lowered the flowers.

“Jon...” I slid his new notebook into his shopping bag. He had sent me through hell and back. I couldn’t just ignore that.

“Go, ahead,” Natalia said from her cash. “Don’t worry, I’ll come up with an excuse if the boss shows up.”

“No.” It came out wobbly. I cleared my throat. “If Jon wants to talk, he has to wait until I’m done my shift.”

I handed him his bag. He had made me wait for weeks; now it was his turn to wait.

“Okay,” he said, and slouched away through the glass doors. I stared after him, and when he looked back over his shoulder my heart seemed to start up again.

“What the heck?” said Natalia. “For weeks he’s all you can think about, and now you’re sending him away?”

I nodded, taking a shaky breath.

A slow smile spread across her face. “I’m so proud of you!” She leaped out from behind the cash and embraced me. “Make him work for it, baby!”

That wasn’t it, though. It wasn’t a power play. It was a matter of respect. Caroline, Paul—even Jon himself—they were right. I couldn’t let him call the shots in every moment of my life. I had to start looking after myself first. I had to be fine on my own.

The feeling of empowerment faded to torture over the next few hours of my shift. My mind couldn’t stop churning out different scenarios for our impending talk.

#1: I relapsed, and I couldn’t tell you.

#2: I’m here to officially end it.

And the one I feared the most, #3: I meant everything I said, but now I miss you so I changed my mind.

Panic set in when I didn’t find him waiting in the parking lot after my shift. As I scoured the parking lot, the weight of his absence hit me, and I struggled to hold back tears. He hadn’t even bothered to wait a few hours. I guess I’d better ask Gena to pick me up after all.

“Little German?” Jon’s voice came from right behind me. I turned to find him holding the wilted daisies, now accompanied by a pint of cookie dough ice cream.

“I didn’t want it to melt so I waited until I saw you leaving the cash. I hope you didn’t think I had left.”

I let out a loud sob, because now, finally... I felt relief. But not the type I had expected.

Jon set down the daisies and ice cream and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m so sorry,” he said, holding me tightly. When I had my breath under control again, I stepped back, wiping my face.

“C-can I have them?” I pointed at the flowers and ice cream on the pavement.

“Oh! Yeah!”

Jon handed them to me. I took a moment to smell the daisies before cradling them in my arms like a baby. Sitting down on the sidewalk, I cracked open the ice cream and dug into it with a plastic spoon Jon had brought. It felt good to have something to occupy my hands. Jon sat down beside me, and after a few bites, I offered him a spoonful. He smiled, allowing me to feed him. We ate in silence until the entire bucket was gone, but the expected endorphins never kicked in.

“I called my father and Richard,” I blurted. I’d wanted to tell him this since it happened—and I needed to compose myself before we talked about what we actually had to get through.

“What did they say?” Jon asked, a hint of surprise and admiration in his voice.

I pressed my feet together. “Well, my father was an asshole, but Richard actually listened.”

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