Page 27 of Wolf's Endgame

“I know I was dying,” I spoke bluntly. “I never heard Royce’s answer. When I passed out, I thought that was it. It was too late. I knew, as I lay in the bed and the surgeries I went through, that my days on this earth were over.” The four of them avoided my eyes as I spoke. “I also know I wasn’t ready to go,” I added softly. “Thank you all for agreeing with me.” Nikan wouldn’t look at me still, and I directed my next statement to him. “And I know she wouldn’t do this to me. Kezia loves me. As I do her.”

“Then where is she?” Leo asked quietly. “Alpha, I’ve never doubted you, not once. But…if she’s your mate? Where is she? Why did she leave?”

“There is no if, she is my mate.” My voice was sharper than it should have been, given what they had all been through. I met Nikan’s glare. “She will always be my mate. And she’s in danger.”

My brother snorted, looking away from me.

“Moonstar,” Royce spoke for the first time. “I knew it was her when she used magic. Kezia will come back on her own.” He didn’t look happy about it. “Like she always does. And, Alpha, I’m telling you now, I am not chasing the mountains looking for her.” His look was steady. “You and I are needed right here. Anterrio has made its move. It’s time to counter.”

“Kezia won’t come back.”

Doc looked at me. He had been quiet throughout the exchange. “Why?”

Anxiety spread through me. I didn’t like it. “I need to find her. Sooner rather than later. Just…trust me on this.”

“No.” Nikan stood. “Because she can’t be trusted.”

I understood my brother was angry, but his attitude towards Kezia was surprising. “Nikan, I know you’re pissed, I’m pissed. She should never have left, but she did, and I believe, truly believe, she left because she thought she had to. She wasn’t part of the attack on me.”

His cold stare was a look I had never seen in my brother before. “If she hadn’t left, you wouldn’t have been out looking for her. You wouldn’t have been blind to the danger in front of you, but you were, and it’s because of her.”

My temper picked up to match his. “No. It isn’t. The reason Tev stabbed me is my fault. Because I gave a poisonous old fucker a pardon when I knew how much he hated me. I should have killed him the day I killed Rek. I allowed Tev to strike me. I gave him the means to have access to me. Access and familiarity in my pack that it wouldn’t have mattered who I was out on the street for, or even if I was walking home from the food hall. He stuck a knife in my back because he believed I did the same to Rek when I never told him I was an alpha.”

Nikan dipped his head, not meeting my eye, the same as he always did when our father was mentioned.

“I hid my scent and my power, and I only came back to the pack when I knew I was strong enough to take it.” Nikan’s anger was cooling, but mine was not. “Tev told me the day Rek lay at my feet, dead. He said I only succeeded because I had blindsided our father as if I had stabbed him in the back.” I shook my head. “Kezia is not part of that. Tev wanted to hurt me like I hurt him when I betrayed his alpha and killed him.” Running my hand through my hair, I tilted my head back to look at the ceiling. “What happened with Tev is my fault because I allowed him to live when he should have died the same night our father did.”

Nikan sat down, still refusing to look at me. Royce watched me carefully and I couldn’t stop the huff of laughter. “And yes, Royce, you can say I told you so.”

It was the first smile I had seen on my beta’s face for a while. “Well,” he said solemnly, the smile fading. “We are all at fault. I advocated for his death that night, but over time, I no longer saw him as a threat, just a bitter old bastard. So I won’t say I told you so, I will apologize for not sticking to my gut.”

“We were all blindsided by Tev,” Doc spoke up. “We are all to blame.” He also wouldn’t meet my eye, and I made a note to find out why later. “Why are you so worried about Kezia? The being inside of her has her, and we all know what she’ll do to protect her. We’ve seen it before.”

I watched him shake his head as he remembered walking into the room where he had kept Vance a prisoner and seeing what Moonstar had left of his body.

“But you’re not worried about that, are you?” Leo was frowning as he watched me. “I know that look, Alpha. Served with you too long not to know when you’re worried.”

“I need to find her.”

“Why?” Leo asked. “I don’t know what’s fully going on. I know I thought, like we all did, that she was part of it, and therefore I was ready to do what we needed. She came back, she healed you, or something that looked like her did.” Leo hesitated. “From the magic I saw and the power that she had…she doesn’t look like she needs your help, Alpha.”

“She does!” I growled angrily. “Because she isn’t Kezia. My mate is inside still, and she needs me to get her out.” Fear gripped my heart. “I hope I am strong enough.”

“You’ve done it before,” Royce said gruffly.

I nodded in reply, but the feeling of panic, now that I had addressed it, was slowly climbing up my insides, hooking itself into my throat and making my mouth dry.

“Tell us?” Doc prompted.

“Moonstar, the spirit inside her,” I explained for Leo’s benefit, “hates me. I’ve used my Will on her before to bring Kezia back.” I swallowed. “I think Anterrio was holding Kezia as a prisoner, and Moonstar broke them free. She took the shaman, someone very dear to Kezia. You saw the state of him; he’s in a hospital bed for fuck’s sake. Something’s happening in Anterrio that’s beyond fucked up if they are hurting their shaman. Moonstar brought him here to safety, and she healed me. She told me she did it for Kezia.” Fear prickled low in my gut. “I remember, right before the pain of her healing, she said she knows what she asked of us. For her, we will heal you.”

Leo looked at Nikan, whose head was down, then to Royce who was tight-lipped, his stare worried as he watched me. “Alpha?”

“She’s not coming back?” Nikan’s rage was simmering, his look uncertain, and I counted it as progress.

“I don’t think so,” I admitted. “I must find her.”

“You think she did it?” Royce spoke. “Don’t you?”