Page 79 of A Cowboy in the Streets

I had thought I was done with this. More than that, I had hoped I was done with this. Humans have an infinite capacity for love, she had said, and dammit all, she was right. Of all the things to be right about, why did it have to be this? It sucked. An infinite capacity for love meant an infinite capacity for pain. I didn’t want more pain. I’d had enough of that, thank you very much.

It was different with Ben. He was my everything, too, and I loved him fiercely. But it wasn’t a choice. Being a parent meant accepting that a piece of your heart lived outside your body, unprotected. If something happened to Ben, it would destroy me. I knew that. I accepted that.

I didn’t have to accept that from James. I didn’t have to choose this. I could walk away.

The thought of walking away from James, of being cold again after spending these last few months in her sunshine, was like a knife in the gut. It was too late. I was already in it. In so deep, I couldn’t extricate myself without pain any more than I could cut off my hand.

It was a miracle my hand held steady as I poured the wine while the epiphany rearranged my insides like an earthquake.

“You have a nice operation here,” Carl said, in a clear attempt to steer the conversation away from his daughter’s love life. “Not as big as Blue Skies, but you have a reputation for quality.”

“That reputation is growing stronger by the day.” I tipped my bottle of beer before taking a sip. “I have your daughter to thank for that.” Whatever else was happening inside me, I still felt like I had a score to settle on James’s behalf. This man—her own father—couldn’t see her worth, but other men could. He needed to be made aware of this fact.

“Hm. Well, enjoy it while it lasts.”

I froze with the beer halfway back to my mouth. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, now. You couldn’t believe James was here for the long haul.” Carl scoffed. “Blue Skies is her home. Eventually, she’ll want to raise a family there. Be the next generation of Blue Skies. You understand that. Lodestar is family run, too, isn’t it?”

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. I was too stunned by the thought of James leaving.

“She told me about the contract. You don’t need to worry about her leaving you in the lurch. She’ll stick it out until Christmas, I figure, before she comes home. But she’s not getting any younger. It’s time for her to be serious about this.”

“She’s the head trainer for a reputable ranch,” I pointed out. “How much more serious could she be?”

Carl raised his gray brows. “As I said, Blue Skies is a family operation. That comes with certain responsibilities. She understands that. Anyway, it’s all she’s ever wanted since she was five years old.”

I couldn’t argue with that. Did Carl deserve her? No. Was it a little weird that he seemed more focused on her settling down and having a family than actually being a trainer at Blue Skies? Absolutely. But was Blue Skies what she wanted? One hundred percent.

She had told me so herself.

The truth of it nearly knocked me down. I gripped the bottle so tightly my fingertips turned white.

James was going to leave Lodestar Ranch. Leave everything we were building together. Leave me. And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

“You disappeared.”

James gave a guilty start and peered at me over Belle’s creamy mane. “I wanted to bring Belle a treat. She deserves to celebrate, too.”

“Right.” I slid open the stall door and waited for her to come out. She moved toward me, then paused to rub her cheek against Belle’s velvety nose. I watched them and felt something I didn’t want to feel. I crossed my arms over my chest and held it down. “Saying goodbye?”

Her gaze shot to my face. She eyed me warily as she closed Belle’s door behind her. “You talked to my dad?”

She stood there in the yellow barn light, her big brown eyes dark and fathomless. Her fingers played with the hem of her dress—a soft blue thing with white daisies—like she didn’t know what else to do with them. So beautiful I ached from it.

I couldn’t stop my hands from grabbing her. Couldn’t stop my arms from trapping her body to mine. “I fucking need you, James.”

And then I slammed my mouth down on hers so she would think I meant her body. Her pussy. Anything but her heart.

She rose up on her toes and threw her arms around my neck, her body plastered to mine, meeting my need with demands of her own. When she opened to me, when her lips parted and I felt the soft slide of her tongue against mine…fuck. I went up in flames. I thrust against her so hard her back hit the stall door, making the wood reverberate loudly. Belle lifted her head and looked at us, nonplussed.

James laughed. “Maybe we should—”“Here. Now.” I was not waiting for whatever was at the end of that sentence. Some other place. Some other time. I couldn’t wait for later. There might not be a later for us.

And I didn’t care. I didn’t care that James was going to go back to her real life and leave me wrecked. These last two months had been full of her laughs, her smiles, her. It was all worth it. So fucking worth it.

I grabbed her bare thigh and lifted it to my waist so I could more easily fit against her. Rocked my hips into her, letting her feel how hard I was already for her. How badly I wanted her. Our tongues tangled, hands groped, hips pressed. She whimpered in my mouth, a sexy little sound that made me lose my damn mind.

I bent and lifted her so both of her legs wrapped around my waist and carried her into the storage room. She tucked her face to my throat. Bit me gently. I could barely think with her mouth on me like that, but I managed to grab a freshly laundered saddle blanket from the basket and spread it over a stack of hay bales while balancing James with one arm, her strong thighs clenched tight around my hips.

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