Page 73 of A Cowboy in the Streets

I narrowed my eyes. “Are you trying to talk me out of it? You just talked me into it, for heaven’s sake. You can’t run scared already.”

“Baby, I’m fucking terrified.” He rested his forehead against mine. His breath shook on the exhale. “What if I wake up one day and you’re gone? You realize I’m not enough and someone out there is better. I’m terrified that I won’t see it coming and I won’t be able to stop it. But I’m not running from this.”

I nuzzled my nose against his. “Adam, I promise you this. If I leave, it won’t be for another man. And you will know exactly why because I’ll tell you every damn day. I won’t leave you with a question mark. Suffering in silence is not my style.”

He chuckled softly. “That’s oddly comforting.”

I love you, I wanted to say. The words lodged in my throat. He wasn’t there yet. Maybe he never would be. He cared for me. He wanted me to be a part of his life. That had to be enough. I wasn’t going to ask for more. I had learned that lesson already.

Asking for more was exactly how you ended up with nothing.

Chapter 30

Adam

Adam

I’m gonna need you to be calm about something

Brax

What did you do?

Adam

You already know what I did. The only difference is that James and I are together.

Brax

Yeah, I already knew that. Everyone knew that. You are absolute shit at hiding how gone you are for her.

Adam

Steven?

Brax

Don’t worry. It’s handled.

I wasn’t going to ask Brax for particulars. Some things were better off unsaid. Brax was a stickler for rules and law, but he also had a way of making people feel it was time they updated their last will and testament. There was no law against staring a person down until they took it upon themselves to get right with Jesus.

Blaine and Jesse took the news about the same as Brax. I had told them because, while PDA was not my thing, I was done pretending James meant nothing to me, and I didn’t want either of them to say or do anything that would make her skedaddle back to the friend zone.

“Should I pretend to be surprised?” Blaine had asked, proving Brax right. We were shit at hiding.

Jesse had more to say on the matter, however.

“She makes cookies and tamed Belle. Don’t screw this up.”

Coming from a toothpick-thin kid like Jesse, the warning didn’t mean much. But I swallowed my smile. “I’ll do my best.”

And hoped to every deity that my best was good enough.

Ben was the only one who hadn’t already known. And since he was the one who mattered most, at his response of that’s cool, I guess, my sigh of relief could have powered a sailboat to China.

James invited us for dinner on Saturday night. Something low key and casual to ease Ben into the idea of his dad dating his favorite person. We opted to walk from the big house to James’s cabin rather than take the four-wheeler. I took the opportunity to pick some wildflowers as we went so I wouldn’t arrive emptyhanded. It had been more than a few years since I’d actually dated anyone, but I was pretty sure flowers were still a popular choice.

“The blue ones.” Ben pointed. “Those are her favorites.”

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