Page 22 of A Cowboy in the Streets

Good times came from literally anyone else. Bad times always came from me. Sometimes I worried about what that meant for our relationship. Maybe the second he turned eighteen, he would shake off the ranch dust and get as far from me as he possibly could. I hated the thought of that.

My shoulders felt tight, like a heavy weight had been set there. Whether by someone else or my own stupid self, who was to say?

I leaned the pitchfork against the wall and rested my forehead there, too. Stalling.

“Are you mad?” Ben’s voice was quiet. Anxious.

I raised my head wearily, prepared to give him the whole, I’m not mad, just disappointed speech when I realized he wasn’t talking to me. He was talking to someone outside the stall.

“Yeah, Ben, I’m mad,” James said.

Immediately my hackles went up, whatever the hell hackles were. My instinct was to jump in and defend Ben. But from what? The truth of the matter was, she had a right to be mad. And she wasn’t raising her voice at him. She was just stating a fact.

“The thing is, you knew the rule, and I didn’t. I didn’t know that you had to tell your dad before you got on a horse. You put me in a bad spot with him and now he’s mad at me. Why didn’t you tell him what we were doing?”

I could hear the sound of Ben shuffling his feet against the straw-covered dirt. “I don’t know,” he muttered.

There was a pause. “Yes, you do.”

“Yeah.” More shuffling. “I left my phone in the breakroom when I went to get some water. You were mostly tacked up already. I figured you wouldn’t want to wait for me to text my dad and tack up Ginger.”

My ribcage squeezed tight.

“I didn’t think you’d get in trouble,” Ben went on. “I thought as long as we were back before lunch, he wouldn’t find out I went without telling him. Dad never says no to riding, as long as I’m with someone. He would have said yes if I had told him. That’s almost the same thing as actually saying yes, right?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose, choking back a laugh and a sigh. Goddamn, this kid.

“Compelling logic, but no.” There was a hint of a smile in James’s voice. “I would have waited for you.”

“Yeah?” His voice was full of hope.

“Of course. I could have managed on my own. I like exploring. But it’s better having someone along who can show you where all the cool stuff is. You’re a great trail guide.” Her voice turned serious when she said, “But you broke my trust, Ben. That can’t happen again.”

“It won’t,” he said hastily. “I don’t break rules.”

That was true. He and his uncle had that in common. I shook my head. Funny how I found it a lot more endearing in my kid than in my brother.

“Why not?” she asked, that same curiosity she had about Belle now directed at my kid.

“Never had a reason to, I guess. Dad doesn’t make a lot of rules and they’re not all that hard to stick to, usually.”

“Huh.” She sounded surprised by that. “Good for you, I guess, but that’s not always going to be the way of it. There are going to be rules you want to break, sometimes for a good reason and sometimes for no reason at all. And when that happens, I want you to ask yourself: Who is it going to hurt if I break this rule? If the answer is no one but yourself, have at it, but understand the consequences might not be all that fun. Learn your lessons.”

I frowned. I didn’t want Ben hurt. Ever.

That wasn’t exactly a reasonable request of the universe. Of course he was going to do dumb shit. Of course he was going to get hurt.

“But if the answer is anyone else at all, I want you to stop and think twice. That’s what friends do for each other. Okay?”

“Okay,” he said softly.

“Good,” she said. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He let out a big breath and so did I. Like that weight on my shoulders had lifted somewhat. It didn’t disappear entirely, but it got a little lighter. I was just so used to doing this alone.

Imparting life lessons to my son wasn’t her job, but here she was anyway, nudging him gently in the direction of being a decent human being. Not in the same way I would have done it, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe he would actually hear it coming from her. And it was such a goddamn relief not to be the mean guy for once.

I heard them move off—Ben heading toward the big house, where Dad had a sandwich for him, and James turning in the direction of my office—and counted to ten before slipping out of the stall and following her.

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