“He’s really sweet, you’d like him. He’s old and fat.”

She closes her eyes, waving her hand like she can wave the idea of him away. “No. Cats shed everywhere. They sit on the furniture, and they’re?—”

“They sit on the furniture?” I repeat with big eyes. “How dare they?”

“Don’t make fun.”

“Maybe you should think about getting an animal to keep you company,” I ponder out loud, and she shoos me away.

“No. Absolutely not. No.”

It only makes me laugh more. “Okay, I’ll get you one for Christmas. Not a cat, but maybe a rabbit or something small. A guinea pig!”

“Cassandra, I swear, if you bring one animal near me…”

I don’t hear the rest of her threat because I close the car door. I drive away, eyes in the rearview mirror where Mom’s hint of a smile is reflected back to me.

DECEMBER 31

Happy New Year’s Eve, friends! I’ve never been so happy to say goodbye to a year. I don’t expect next year to be any better, but I do hope it’s not as bad.

To be honest, I’ve drunk two glasses of champagne already, and my friend and I are watching the old stop-motion Rudolph movie with the baby New Year. And I’m weepy. As always, my brother is on my mind. In a few hours, I’ll be able to say, “My brother died last year.” And that’s an appalling line. But then again, anything can happen next year. I could win the lottery. I could finally reach my dream of hosting a game show. Or, at the very least, be a contestant on one. Who knows. The world is my oyster.

Anyone have any big plans for this year? I’d love to hear them!

#Grief #NewYear #NYE #ByeBitch #Champagne #BubbleCry #CallMePriceIsRight

CHAPTER 31

Inever took stock in making resolutions, but it’s a new year, a new me. On January 1st, I sat down to write a list of goals, and maybe it’s my start of morphing into my mother—I don’t know—but it felt good.

Meet with Dad. Do not take no for an answer.

See Lucy and Lara at least once a month. Read books with them.

Buy a paper calendar and make note of birthdays.

People like birthday cards, buy them.

Write a book.