Page 33 of Cardinal House

“I’m okay,” I tell him quickly, doing what he just did for me, reassuring.

The split tips of my fingers slide beneath his, wedging between the underside of his hand and my cheek.

“I could have killed you,” he whispers. “Look what happened to you because of me,” he sighs, dropping his gaze and I find myself desperately wanting to claw it back.

“But you didn’t.” I lick my lips, cracked and dry, glancing down at my other arm, a clear tube connecting my inner elbow to his, it makes my heart swell and flutter. “You wouldn’t have meant to hurt me,” I breathe the words, his eyes slowly lifting back to mine, uncertainty in his gaze, his chin still dipped. “I- I know that.” I frown as I say it, unsure how, exactly, I know that, only that I do. But a sudden wash of panic overwhelms me, my body going cold, despite my skin feeling hot, “What happened to me, Wolf?” he shudders at the question, but he doesn’t shy away from it.

“Honestly, I don’t know. All I know is how I found you, and-”

“How did you find me?” The words are barely a whisper, but Wolf is leaning down so close now, I can feel his breath on my skin and it sends signals to my brain that are confusing for someone who just clawed their way out of their own coffin.

Would he have buried me?

“Dead,” he cringes a little, but his eyes shine, yellow-caramel, glass orbs, mesmerising. “In the river, beaten, shot, and-” He pulls himself up short, stopping the next words, his breath leaving him in a rush, but I grip his fingers, squeezing, telling him with my eyes to say it. “Sodomised.”

It’s as though the word triggers the pained nerve endings in my entire body, because suddenly everything seems to come back online, like I’ve just been shocked with a million volts of electricity, and it hurts.

“I’m going to protect you, keep you safe.”

“Who would do… that to me, why would they kill me? Am I…” I lick my lips, pain vaulting through every inch of my skin. “Am I a bad person?” My gaze lifts, eyes flicking between his, as his face hardens into stone.

“No. You’re not a bad person, you’re just someone that other people thought they could hurt. You did nothing wrong.”

“How can you know that? What if I’m in a gang or something?”

What if I hurt people and deserved to die?

What if I’m a murderer?

He laughs, but it’s not humorous.

“You’re not anything you’re thinking, Luna.” Wolf’s hand flips in mine, his fingers lacing though my own, the scarred backs of his knuckles grazing my cheek. “You’re not bad, you’re not in a gang. You haven’t committed any crimes.”

“But how can you know?” Tears well up again, and my face hurts too much to keep crying, the side of my head burning with every wince and pull of my features, the skin too tight.

“I just know.” He shrugs loosely, running our joined hands over the arch of my cheek.

“How was I in a coffin?” I ask, scrunching my nose.

“Oh. Well, I- this is a funeral home,” Wolf tells me. “I… look after people once they’ve passed away.”

It feels as though that statement has a lot more meaning to it than that, but I don’t press, this is all too much to take in anyway, so I just nod, like that’s enough.

“Why can’t I remember anything?” it’s vulnerable and the sound makes me feel sick inside, but I just… trust this man, even if I don’t know why.

Wolf swallows, his dark, stubble studded, throat rolls with the motion, his plump lips curl together between his teeth, the dark rose-pink colour blanching briefly as they pop free. “Sometimes, after something traumatic happens, or we get a head injury, we forget things for a while, sometimes everything, sometimes a little.” He smooths his hand down to my jaw, his fingers fanning out over my face, thumb to the tip of my chin, my own hand falling away, dropping to my side. “It’ll come back, whatever you don’t remember, it’ll come back, just don’t try to force it, okay?”

With a deep frown, I hold his gaze, my insides feeling like they don’t belong, my skin itching and tight, like it doesn’t quite fit.

“Let me take care of you,” Wolf whispers.

Dipping his face back into mine, I think of our arms joined by a tube ferrying blood, presumably from his veins into mine, and I glance down at it, staring at the clear plastic filled with rich crimson.

“Why do you want to?” it’s the breathiest whisper I can manage, my voice crackling, but I don’t look at him, I breathe him in instead, this scent that I feel like I know, but not well, as I stare at the tube. “Why would you look after me? Why did you look for me? How did you find me?”

Sharply, I look up at him, my head pounding in time with the frantic banging of my heart. His eyes are on mine, and the emotions in them change quicker than the wind, so many things flash across his face before his features smooth out.

“I looked for you because I had a bad feeling. I found you because my brother gave you a card that had a tracking chip in it. And I want to take care of you because before all of this…” Wolf glances away, blowing out a breath that rushes over my face. “I wanted us to be more.”

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