Page 70 of Edge of Desire

“What time do you want to head out?”

“When the lifts open.”

Justin stayed for four days. We had a great time cruising the groomed slopes. He never loved skiing like I did but could manage fine on the intermediate runs. When he left, I was surprised at how much I missed him. I’d asked about what happened after Preston and I made our escape. Justin explained how he and Caroline had stayed in their safe apartment for a couple of weeks, but the felons were caught, and everything had returned to normal. They had constant protection, but neither of them minded, so all was good on the Seattle front.

The drive to the airport had been a bit quiet. He made me promise to call Preston. I did, but I also told him it wouldn’t be for a while. I made Justin promise he wouldn’t tell Preston anything we’d discussed. I knew he’d pull Caroline into the loop since I’m sure they shared everything, so I asked him to beg her not to say anything to Preston. When we pulled into the airport and Justin got out, I ran around the car and hugged him fiercely.

“Thank you for coming. It really meant a lot to me.”

“I had to see you. I knew how you were feeling, and Caroline was worried about you too.”

“Tell her to come and visit me. I would love to have her out for a few days, if she could stand me.” I grinned, lopsidedly.

We hugged again and then I said, “I love you, Justin.”

“I love you too, Ava. Don’t wait too long. There’s no sense in extending your misery.” Then he kissed my cheek and strolled into the terminal.

The drive back to my studio was depressing, as I thought how much it meant to have my brother visit. It was a good thing I had to work that night or else I would’ve been in a sad mood for the rest of the day.

Since I had a few hours before it was time to show up at work, I checked my email, and much to my glee, there was a message from Melissa. She informed me that she was planning to visit. She’d never been snow skiing and had always wanted to give it a go, so she wanted to know what dates would work the best. We settled on the week before Christmas since lift tickets would be cheaper and the crowds would be minimal. If she didn’t come then, she should wait until after the New Year.

About two hours later, I received her reply that she had booked her flight and would be visiting then.

Oh my gosh! I would have to hook her up with an excellent ski instructor. I didn’t want her to come all the way out here and not have a great time on the slopes. I’d start asking around tonight for some names. I’d be sure to get a male instructor because for some reason, the idea of Melissa with a female made me break out in fits of giggles.

Melissa was due to arrive the next day and it had been three months to the day since I’d left Preston. Justin had been right. Time didn’t heal a thing. I felt exactly the same as I did the day I left. Maybe I didn’t explode into tears as often, but my heart was still wrapped in barbed wire, and the anguish was just as excruciating. Even at night I felt his warm body and smelled his luscious scent. And, God help me, I still wrapped myself in his damn shirt, refusing to throw it away or even wash it for that matter. But the worst part was when I imagined his hands, lips, and tongue all over me and him slowly sliding into me, driving me to ecstasy. I imagined his taste on my tongue, and I’d awaken with tears on my cheeks, desperate for him to be by my side, telling me he loved me. It was the worst kind of pain I could possibly think of.

I was glad Melissa would be here to take my mind, at least temporarily, off Preston. Nothing else seemed to work. The guys that came into Tres Chicas would flirt with me, but I didn’t want to have anything to do with them. They were more of an annoyance than anything. I wish I could flirt back. Maybe meeting someone would get him out of my mind. But the truth always nailed me. There wasn’t anyone on this earth that would make me forget Preston.

A few times, my boss mentioned how being more open to the customers would jack up my tips, but I didn’t care. Derrick even suggested I try flirting.

Not wanting to blow this gig I had going, I made a valiant effort to pay closer attention to my customers and make sure they were happy. Flirting had never been my forte, so I tried my best to do what I thought was the closest thing to it. Girls like Felicia always seemed to know what to do. Not me. I fumbled along, miserable in my own skin, and acted like a dork.

We were fairly busy all night, and the bar seats were always filled. I’d confided in Derrick about my lack of flirting ability, and he just laughed, saying I was a natural. Easy for him to say when he wasn’t the one trying to flirt. Though we were slammed, all night I had a weird sensation that someone was checking me out. The hairs on my neck stood up, but every time I surveyed the room to see who it might me, I was staring at a sea of blank faces. By the end of the night, I was worn out, and as I walked home, I hoped my exhaustion would bring at least a few hours of sleep. Knowing Melissa, she would want to party when she arrived.

Twenty-Two

Preston

It didn’t take long for restlessness to kick in. Upon hearing Justin’s very brief account of her, I knew I wouldn’t last. He was tight-lipped but acted like he wanted to say more. She must’ve made him promise not to. Being the kind of guy he was, he wouldn’t break that promise. Being the kind of guy that I was, I wouldn’t press him, although that’s what I wanted to do.

My days in Seattle were numbered. I’d known that from the start. Ever since I’d discovered where she’d gone, I had counted the days until I could go to her. She needed time and that’s why I didn’t charge right after her. She would’ve pushed me away. In all likelihood she still would, but I was going to try anyway.

My last night there, about a week before Christmas Eve, I announced at dinner I was leaving in the morning and would be driving to Vail. Justin and Caroline both looked at me, grinned, and she said, “It’s about damn time.”

“I might be crawling back here with my tail between my legs before it’s all said and done.”

“I don’t even want to hear it. You’re more persistent than anyone I know. And persuasive. If anyone can sway Ava, you can,” Justin added.

“God, I hope so.” It was a desperate plea, and I knew it. “I never knew what living life was until I met her.”

Justin and Caroline looked at each other first and then and me. “We know,” Justin said.

When dawn broke, I was in my car, headed toward Denver. It was a twenty-hour drive, but I promised myself I would stop for one overnight somewhere in between. My first thoughts were to go back to Montana, but when I delved deeper into that, I knew my heart couldn’t bear it. My stop would be someplace else, a place that evoked no memories of Avery.I would call it when I started to feel tired.

The lights on the interstate began to have those starbursts around them, so I knew that was my signal. I saw an exit up ahead with some motels, so I pulled into the first one which happened to be a Comfort Lodge. Hoping it lived up to its name, I scored a room and took a hot shower. Not expecting to sleep, I flipped the TV on, but was surprised when I rolled over and looked at the clock to find it was four a.m. I’d fallen sound asleep, which lately, was not the norm. Maybe it was because I was on my way to being closer to her. Nothing else about it made sense. Insomnia had ruled my life ever since that dreadful day, so that must’ve been it. Crawling between the sheets, I rolled back over to see if I could sleep a little more. My mind spun with what I would do if I came face-to-face with her. Would I run or go and speak to her? Would I dare to even say a word? Would she answer me if I did?

Debilitating fear ran through my body. It was the kind that caused you to break out in a cold sweat and made your heart slam against your rib cage. That’s what I felt when I thought about Avery never speaking to me again. That was right before visceral anguish ripped into me, making me feel like I was being gutted alive.

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