Page 1 of Edge of Desire

One

Ava

My mom was going to kill me. No doubt about it. When she found out I had just accepted a job, sight unseen, on the West Coast, she was going to flip out. The proverbial shit was going to hit the fan in the Middleton house. First my brother Justin moved to Seattle and now me. How the heck was I going to pull this one off? I just booked a flight to leave in three weeks. I was headed to Seattle to meet my new boss and start my new job. Oh brother, was I ever in for it now.

Mom had no clue what had been going on in my life. All she noticed was that I had put on some pounds lately. The weight was the least of my worries though. Everything had gone to hell in a handbasket. The only bright star was this new job at SoftwarePlus and it was going to be awesome.

Thank God my friend and trusty realtor, Alana, was handling the sale of my duplex. Melissa, my neighbor who owned the other half, and I had worked out a deal. She would keep an eye on things for me after I left.

Melissa ... I was really gonna miss that girl. When I first met her, I wasn’t too sure about her. I mean, she kind of scared me. She was a sumo wrestler in training and was sort of frightening ... and big. I’m talking muscles and strength. As she explained it, sumo wrestlers had to carry a lot of weight as it helped with their strength, but she worked hard at it, going to the gym every day and eating a mostly healthy—except for all the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream—but high-caloric diet. The first time she fist-bumped me I thought she broke my knuckles. Then she told me she needed to un-girly me, and that I was too much of a wuss.

I never paid her much mind until the night I had a run-in with this loser I’d been dating, Mike Dixon. My mom had been on a mission to find me a husband, and after a string of failures, she arranged a date with him. His full name was Michael Kensington Dixon III, and I tried. Oh, how I tried. After a couple of months of trying to convince myself he was a nice enough guy and that I needed to give him more of a chance, I came to the conclusion there simply weren’t any more chances left in me. I had run slap out of them. There wasn’t a speck of chemistry there. Who was I kidding? The guy was a royal pain in my butt, besides the fact he thought he was God’s greatest gift to women. And please, God forgive me, I hated saying this, but he was super homely. I tried to overlook that and his annoying personality. But I decided it was time to play the honesty card. Tonight, I would tell him we weren’t going to make it as a couple. However, that didn’t go too well.

“But, Ava, I thought you and I were peas and carrots. I was going to see if we could take it to the next step tonight.” He waggled his bushy brows. They were so thick and unruly that they joined together, creating a shadow over his beady eyes. I’d never seen a unibrow so shockingly huge before. It was like a squirrel had crawled up there and made a nest. Not only that, a gigantic mole resided on the tip of his nose. Every time we had a conversation, I couldn’t tear my eyes off the thing.

“I don’t think so. I hate to be blunt, but this is goodbye.”

“Ava, your mother won’t like this. She’s going to be very disappointed.”

“This isn’t my mother’s decision. It’s mine.”

“You know you’re not going to find anyone else. Look at you. I mean who would want to date someone your size?”

That comment should’ve hurt, but looking at him again, it didn’t. “That’s your opinion. While I’m no size four, my weight is just fine since I’m five ten.” That was an exaggeration. I was overweight, but nothing would make me continue dating this jerk.

Well, Mikey conveniently forgot what the word no meant. He took me by complete surprise when he lunged for me, slapped me a few times, and then punched me. I’d never seen this vicious side of him. I didn’t even know he had it in him. He then commenced to rip my shirt off and did his best to maul me. I was frozen with fear. When he unleashed his prized manhood, the fear poofed away. To my utter horror, my eyes nearly exploded out of my head. Oh, it wasn’t because of what you’re thinking. No, it was quite the opposite. Mikey was actually Little Dickie. I mean itty bitty teeny weenie. Maybe even the size of an average pinkie finger. I had no idea penises could be that tiny. Then, a gurgle of laughter burst forth from the furthest depths of my being and rose to a crescendo unlike anything I’d ever heard. I’m pretty sure Little Dickie had never heard anything like it either.

To make matters even worse, and I knew at the time I shouldn’t have said it, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I looked at him and said, “And just what do you intend to do with that? Have a little beanie with that teeny weenie?”

His face went from tanning-booth brown to a mottled shade of purple, right before he released a frightening growl and lunged for me. He brandished his pinkie-finger appendage (that is if one can actually brandish something that tiny) and yelled how he was going to teach me proper manners where penis size was concerned.

Then, as he chased me around my duplex, I screamed at him and frantically searched for some type of weapon to defend myself with. Unfortunately, the only thing I could lay my hands on was my favorite childhood stuffed animal, which was a rather large, dark brown dachshund. I started batting him with it and shouting obscenities at him and his pinkie-finger dick. The irony was not lost on me that I was beating him with a stuffed wiener dog.

Lucky for me, Melissa was home, and upon hearing me screaming and hollering, she came barreling through the door. In no time, she had Little Dickie in a sumo-wrestling hold beneath her three hundred pounds of muscular girth with him crying out, “Uncle, uncle!” And then, I swear by all that’s holy, he started to pee. His teeny weenie squirted in the air just like those water fountains of naked baby boys.

“Jesus! What kind of man pees all over himself?”

“Look at him, Melissa. He was chasing me with that thing,” I said, biting hard on my lip, trying my best not to laugh. I had nearly been raped by this man, if you could call him that, and here I was laughing at him.

“Ava, grab your phone right now.”

I ran and got my phone.

“Now take pictures of this. This needs to be posted all over social media right away. We’ll see how much of a man—hey, what did you call him?”

“Little Dickie.”

“Yeah. We’ll see how much of a man he is now. Take a picture of that little dickie. Hey, you got a ruler?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You need a little perspective here.”

Suddenly, Mikey started crying, “No, please, I’ll do anything. Don’t do that. Please.”

“What exactly will you do to stop us, Mike?” I asked.

“Anything.”

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