Page 69 of Edge of Desire

“Did you sleep?”

“Barely.”

“Nighttime’s the worst for me. I feel him next to me. His warmth. I can smell him and want to touch him. I don’t think I’ve slept more than a couple of hours since it happened. I accidentally took one of his shirts when I left and sleep with the damn thing every night. I’m that freaking pathetic, Justin.”

Justin gave me a crooked smile. “I know what you mean. I was the same way. I didn’t sleep a full night until she came back to me.”

I rubbed my chest, trying to ease that persistent ache. Justin handed me a box of tissues. “Thanks.” I blew my nose for the umpteenth time.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why don’t you talk to him?”

My head jerked toward him. That he could even ask me such a preposterous question had me floored. My mouth hung open and I stared at him.

“I know you think I’m nuts, but, Ava, I had to live almost two fucking years like this. Are you willing to do that? It doesn’t go away. If you love him like I think you do, I can tell you, two years from now, you’re still gonna feel like shit. And if you could see him, he feels every bit as shitty as you. You’re two people who desperately need to talk, and the ball is in your court. He fucked up. I’m not minimizing what he did at all, in any way, shape, or form. But I know Preston. I know him well. He’s not a bad guy. He’d take a bullet for you on a good day. You say you accept him for everything he is, which means all his imperfections. He’s flawed, Ava. He tried to tell you that. All I’m suggesting is talk to him.”

“I don’t think I can ever trust him not to lie like that again. Justin, he destroyed my life. My job. Everything.”

“Seriously? You sound like Mom now. Let’s analyze this. He gave you something you never had. Love. That’s worth a lot more than a damn job. Your life, in your own words, was fucked up before you even met him. That’s why you changed jobs and moved away from Charleston. You can’t put that on him. You’re brilliant, Ava. You can get any damn job you want anywhere you want. You’ve got a fucking MBA from Harvard for Christ’s sake with a résumé a mile long. Hell, you graduated first in your class with a four point oh. And what are you doing now? You’re tending bar. You can’t blame that on him either.”

“Yes, I can. I’m not emotionally ready to tackle a new career right now.”

“Fine, I’ll give you a pass on that one. But seriously, it’s not like you need the money. You have more money than you’ll ever spend in a lifetime. Listen, when Terri died, I wanted to die too. The only thing that kept me going was I knew she would’ve wanted me to go on. You have a second chance. At the time, I didn’t know I had one with Caroline. Ava, take it and call him. Even if it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll know. You must have doubts in your mind. You know in your heart he’s a good guy, right?”

I nodded. I ran through all the things that had happened between us and I couldn’t find fault with any of them except for that one monster of a lie. But it was so huge, I didn’t know if I could ever get past it, and I explained that to Justin.

“Then if you can’t, at least you’ll know. And so will he.”

“I’m not ready yet. I need more time. I’m afraid if I call him right now, I’ll cave, and I need to be strong when I talk to him.”

Justin nodded. “I get that. So, what are your plans, then?”

I gave him a half grin. “What do you think?”

“You staying for the whole season?”

“You got it. I figured it would be my big chance to get away and do this. I’m also ...” I squinted my eyes at him before I continued, “I’m thinking about starting a business here.”

“Oh yeah? What kind?”

“That’s the million-dollar question. It would have to be finance related, obviously. I don’t want a brick-and-mortar business. I’m in the early stages of thinking about some possibilities. Maybe consulting. The Vail resorts are so huge, who knows? Maybe I can come up with something involving them. They’ve been snagging up properties and other ski resorts left and right. We’ll see.”

My brother smiled. “I can see you out here permanently. But you’re gonna have to buy a bigger place.”

“Smartass. I rented this just for the season. I figured it would give me time to look and see where I’d want to plant myself. I don’t want to live in the village. It’s too crowded. I want something away from all the people.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you. You can valet your ski equipment, so you don’t need to live right here.” Then he elbowed me in the side. “So, you wanna hit the slopes tomorrow?”

“Think you can take me on?” I asked in a teasing voice. There weren’t too many things I could dust Justin on, but I could outski him with my eyes closed any day of the week.

“Hell no, I can’t take you on. Are you crazy? I don’t want to kill myself. I just want to do some blue runs with you,” he laughed.

“Well, you’re in luck because we’ve gotten some great snow these past weeks. It’s been snowing every day, so almost ninety percent of the mountain is open. The back bowls are even open.”

“Hmm, are you trying to maim me? Not sure about the back of the mountain, but the front is just fine with me.” He smiled.

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