Page 24 of Crazy for You

Emma looked across the table at Ryan. “I guess we should get going, too.”

He nodded and stood, resting a hand on the small of her back as they walked toward the front door. Outside, the weather was cool but not cold, the stars above shimmering in the cloudless night sky.

“You did great today, you know,” he said.

“Thanks. I had a good teacher.” She turned her head to smile at him, and gah, the sight of him there beside her in the dark, his eyes twinkling in the moonlight, was too sexy for words.

His hand lingered on her back as he walked her to her car, parked a hundred feet or so down Main Street. It felt so natural because it was Ryan and she’d known him forever, but at the same time, it felt so romantic, like she expected him to lean in and kiss her when they got to her car. Like he was hers, and not just her friend.

But when they got to her car, he tucked his hands into his pockets. “Night, Em.”

“Good night, Ryan. See you tomorrow.”

With a nod, he strode off into the darkness. Shaking her head at herself for the ridiculous warmth flushing her body, she got in her car and drove home. Inside her apartment, Smokey waited, perched on the back of the couch, meowing loudly as soon as Emma was through the front door.

“Hello to you, too,” Emma said. With her bright blue eyes and extremely vocal nature, Smokey might have some Siamese heritage, but her steel gray fur gave nothing away for certain.

Emma liked having someone there to say “hi” to when she walked in the door. Usually, she enjoyed having the place to herself with only Smokey for company. Sometimes, though, like tonight, she felt lonely and restless.

It was only eight o’clock, and she wasn’t tired. She was in the mood for company, for conversation. Except Gabby was home with Ethan, and Carly was home with Sam. She texted Mandy to see if she wanted to come over and watch a movie, but Mandy replied that she was “otherwise occupied” tonight.

Dammit.

All her friends were getting laid tonight. Except her.

Feeling even more restless and with a serious side of sexual frustration, she remembered Ryan’s advice about the hot bath. Her muscles were already grumpy so she started the water running, then went into the kitchen for a glass of wine. A few minutes later, she sank into the hot bubbles and all her troubles melted away.

For a few minutes anyway. That nagging feeling of loneliness just wouldn’t leave her alone tonight. She missed her mom, dammit. The emotion rose up so suddenly and unexpectedly that, before she knew it, she was sobbing into her bubble bath.

She put her wine down on the edge of the tub, buried her face in her hands, and cried until she’d run out of tears. She and her mom had been so close. Her dad had taken off before she was out of diapers so it had always just been the three of them: Emma, Derek, and their mom. But while Derek was off dare-deviling with Ryan, Emma’s closest friend had been her mom. They’d done everything together, gone shopping, to the movies, even gossiped about boys.

When a drunk driver ran her off the road when Emma was just fifteen, she’d felt like her life had ended, too. Derek, who’d just turned eighteen, enlisted and went off to boot camp. Emma had gone to live with her friend Clara Mackenzie and her family. She was so grateful to the Mackenzies for taking her in when she’d had nowhere else to go, but she’d never felt like part of their family. She’d always felt more like a guest in their home.

Then, just two years later, Derek died, too, lost in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan.

Emma hiccupped and blew her nose. Then she downed the rest of her glass of wine and dried her eyes. Enough of that.

Still feeling lonely and unsettled, she went into her bedroom, changed into her pajamas, and started flipping through channels on the TV, looking for something to watch, preferably something lighthearted and funny. She settled on an old episode of Friends. It was one of the episodes where Monica and Chandler had started sleeping with each other but were hiding their relationship from the rest of the group.

Would it be that way if she and Ryan hooked up?

Stop it. This was ridiculous. It was time to quit fantasizing about Ryan Blake. She’d spent the better part of her life lusting after him, and it should have become obvious to her years ago that it was never going to happen.

But he kissed me.

And then he went right back to treating her like a friend. So now it was time to find herself someone new to fantasize about. She needed a man who hadn’t known her since she was a kid, someone who could give her the kind of excitement and companionship she was sorely lacking right now.

Sniffling past the last of her melancholy, she grabbed her phone and clicked on the Tinder app. She’d created a profile last year. It was fun swiping through photos of available guys. Of course, she’d never actually gone on a date that way, but hey, this was her year to step outside her comfort zone. She looked at the photo she’d chosen for her profile, a silly snapshot of her with her hands in the dirt, planting a rosebush, taken by Mandy, if she remembered correctly. Eh. It was cute, but maybe she’d mess around and try to take some sexier selfies tomorrow. She spent a few minutes updating her profile—while Chandler hid Monica beneath the bubbles in their bath to protect their secret relationship—and then, taking a deep breath, she switched her Tinder status to active.

Boom.

Take that, Ryan. Maybe the man of her dreams would click on her photo any minute now. Or at least a bad boy to give her the hot fling she’d been lusting after. Ha. She was so ridiculous. Giggling at herself, she started swiping. Left to pass. Right to like. If a guy she “liked” also liked her photo, they were a match and could start chatting. And if all went well? A date.

Left. Left. Left…She made it through at least twenty guys without anyone catching her eye. Was she just picky or were the pickings slim these days?

Next up was a tattooed man posing on a motorcycle. Todd Pierce, age thirty-five, from Silver Springs. He wasn’t all that attractive, and the ponytail wasn’t doing anything for her, but just for fun, she swiped right. Still giggling, she took a screenshot and texted it to Mandy.

Then she got back to business. By nine thirty, she’d swiped right on five guys. She wasn’t too hopeful about any of them, but she made a pact with herself that she would go on a date in the next week. Her phone pinged with an incoming text message. Hoping it was Mandy, she closed Tinder.

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