Page 19 of Colby's Lost Binky

“You look like you are.”

We’d mentioned diapers, and they would probably be a part of our daddy/little dynamic, but not today. Today was about taking tiny little baby steps.

Daddy took my hand and led me into his bedroom. He had me climb into bed and handed me my binky, which I’d left out. I snatched it from him, put it in my mouth, and then curled up onto my side. Daddy climbed in beside me and snuggled a bit closer, and I closed my eyes. Sleep found me quickly, and I dreamed of a prince, his daddy, and, of course, his unicorn. It was a very good day.

Chapter Fourteen

Barrister

I told myself I could skip Chained for a while, and I had. Exploring my relationship with Colby was not only time consuming but fun, interesting, sometimes frustrating, often adorable, and overall, the best thing that ever happened to me.

We played together, learning one another’s needs and desires, and that was fulfilling, but Chained was more to me than just a place where I could visit the little room and be a daddy. It was a group of friends who understood where I was coming from. People who had stories of their own about being daddies and what that meant.

I didn’t have that connection anywhere else. Oh sure, Stan was a daddy, but if I didn’t see him at Chained, it was usually at the office where we mostly talked about patients. I missed sprawling on the couches while my friends’ littles played on the floor in front of us, waiting for snacks. Having Colby among them was a fantasy I replayed in my mind altogether too often.

I could take him on a guest pass, but that wasn’t a long-term solution by any means. I could add him to my membership, but he’d never put up with that. He was adorable, but he had pride and wanted to pay his own way.

Then I got an email about an open house. The membership was encouraged to invite those they thought might be a good fit for the club, no guest pass needed for the evening. And I decided this was my opportunity.

Colby was sprawled next to me on the couch, watching an animated feature, and I held the screen up to him. “What do you say? Want to check it out?” He still hadn’t found a job in his field, and I was afraid that might mean he would turn me down, insist he wanted to wait until he could afford a membership if he liked it there.

But to my surprise, he read the email then nodded and said, “All right. Sounds good.”

Just like that.

I did not question his change of heart, just went with the excitement of being able to take my little to Chained to meet my friends. We would play or not as he felt comfortable, and I would try my best to get one of the good changing rooms as well. As a surprise.

The event was still a couple of weeks out, but I wasn’t sure how I’d make it with the building anticipation over the whole thing.

Despite his insistence on not going in the past, as the time grew near, my little got more and more excited. He bought a new backpack with a duck that matched the one on his blankie and packed it over and over. “Are you sure there will be somewhere for me to change?”

“Yes, I’ve already arranged it,” I told him, hiding the smirk that tried to lift my lips. I had succeeded in getting the rubber duckie room, one I thought he’d love and I had never imagined I’d be able to reserve. “Now, did you decide which onesies to bring?”

It seemed like the night of the event would never get here, and I struggled not to push my luck and suggest we go another night. For some reason, Colby was comfortable in believing the open house wasn’t something that affected me financially in any way. The guest pass would have been no different, but… He really had pride, and while I knew he’d love Chained, he would not go there except on his own terms. While I wanted to bury him in luxury, give him anything he wanted, and ease his struggles, I knew that would never fly. And I had to admit that his fierce independence, even in his current circumstances, was part of his charm. He even insisted on paying his sister rent while sleeping on her couch.

My desire was to support and help him however he needed me to. As his daddy, as his partner, as someone who loved him. And if that meant holding back when I wanted to surge forward with what I thought was best—then that’s what I’d do.

“I’ve driven by here so many times,” he said in hushed tones as we stood on the front steps of the club. “It feels a little dreamlike to be going in.”

The people in front of us shifted forward, inches at a time, indicating just how successful the request for members to put out the word had been. I’d never stood in line here, ever. Members were walking past me and inside, but those who had a guest were lingering. We’d filled out the requested online forms for Colby because even guests had to be approved to enter, but I could only imagine how long it would take if they hadn’t set up that process.

“It always feels that way to me,” I said, taking Colby’s hand. “Like stepping out of the day-to-day and into a place where everything makes perfect sense.”

“Is that what it’s like?” He rose on tiptoe, trying to see past the couple in front of us.

“To me. But you’ll have to see for yourself. Looks like we’re almost in.”

“Whew. How crowded is it going to be?”

“Welcome!” Kumari, one of my favorite employees, reached out and drew us inside. “Sorry for the wait. In answer to your question, new person—”

“I’m Colby.” He smiled and held his hand out to shake.

“Colby, it won’t be too crowded. We have a limit and we’re very close to reaching it. I hope we don’t have to disappoint anyone, but Ms. Lily says we will set up a second open house night if so.”

We chatted very briefly while turning in phones and signing Colby in as a guest. I watched him relax as Kumari gently teased him about bringing his own doctor to a kink club. “Wait, you have the duckie changing room. I’ll get someone to let you in.” She waved over a young man who wore tight leather shorts with suspenders and nothing else. “Duckie room, please.”

As we followed him down the hallway, Colby’s head swiveled. We didn’t speak until the employee opened the room then handed me the key card. “You can leave it inside when you go. It will be deactivated at closing.” He left us, the door clicking softly closed behind him.

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